Patronii in person, anti Dementors visit the zoo

[ISaySteadyOn]

Never started a long running thread before but I figure even lurkers should take a turn. Hope the title ok.

Thanks @TeacupDrama. Will do! There's also a load of bollocks about non-competing, but I don't really think that's enforceable. Not that he wants to compete, but it's all just a major pain in the rectum.

On the plus side, I'm just glad to stop having to deal with this shit any more.

@SudokuBook I am massively jealous about your work looking after you, but also very glad for you. With hindsight, it's our own fault for always working in small owner managed businesses. They're always tighter than a gnat's chuff. You'd think we'd learn

I can see why most people still fear the plague. I watch this morning for the chester zoo thing and just before, dr chris was in full dementor mode 'I'd rather stay 6ft apart then bec6 ft under' etc plus advising people who wipe down their shopping and not eat cold food outside. 🙄🙄 He's a retired GP FFS not a virus specialist.

Can we please shut down morale boosting collaborative zoom performances from artists in their recording studios in their mansions trying to lift our spirits and unite us all please though?

And covid poetry, for the love of god no more covid poetry. Especially if it’s read in that tone of voice which is the verbal equivalent of a concern head tilt, and especially especially if it’s on an advert, and especially squared if it’s on an advert for a bank. And breath.

So there are only 53,000 cases in the UK outside of hospitals and care homes. So, tell me again why I can't take my child to the fucking park or let him have a friend over?

Fucking joke

Found this on Twitter. Very accurate methinks.

Need a hug today. After I disagreed with a dementor on fb yesterday, OH and DS said I was dragging the family name through the mud.

Then today it turns out I now cannot see my other DS on his birthday because his MIL has rocked up to stay. This MIL as well as ignoring lockdown has a boyfriend who turns up at her house, boyfriend is also in and out of others homes daily because of his job. The boyfriend also has a woman staying at his place so basically has two women on the hook.

I am so sad it is not DS fault his MIL has an interesting private life. They have kept her away since lockdown until now to be fair. I feel like piggy in the middle having to choose between one family or the other.

I was talking to mum yesterday (in her flat, without social distancing, over a cup of tea. Cos that is how we roll - living life on the edge, innit)
Let's assume that someone is vulnerable. 70+ or whatever. All these agencies offering to deliver shopping, prescriptions etc.
How are the recipients expected to pay for things? They can't go to the bank because THE ROOLZ. Should they give the shoppers their bank details? Should the shoppers buy the things for them but not be reimbursed? Give the shoppers their bank card, maybe?
How does the recipient get the shopping list to the shopper, without internets? Should we be setting up our not tech-savvy vulnerable people with internets to facilitate this new remote lifestyle, and if we did, who would help them to use it?

Can we please shut down morale boosting collaborative zoom performances from artists in their recording studios in their mansions trying to lift our spirits and unite us all please though?

Not on any virus related grounds - just because they're shit.

Also because they are a LIE.

You can't do musical collaboration over Zoom because of the lag (which is one of the many, many reasons it is no substitute for meeting other humans in person).

They are all edited together. Which is grand, but let's be clear about what they are instead of pretending.

And breath.

I am dead.

You killed me.

justasking that’s shit, I’m sorry.

@Nihiloxica

And breath.

I am dead.

You killed me.

@BarkandCheese

Can we please shut down morale boosting collaborative zoom performances from artists in their recording studios in their mansions trying to lift our spirits and unite us all please though?

And covid poetry, for the love of god no more covid poetry. Especially if it’s read in that tone of voice which is the verbal equivalent of a concern head tilt, and especially especially if it’s on an advert, and especially squared if it’s on an advert for a bank. And breath.

Oh God, this. I used to like Nationwide fine and now it can DIAF for the puketacular po-e-tree they've been inflicting on us.

That level of poetry belongs in Hallmark birthday cards.

Well the marks are coming in for the re-designed assessments I did after uni closed - thankfully I should come out fairly well with how they're calculating zero-detriment safety nets for stuff taken after shutdown - but I would have scored a better mark on the one I've just got back if I would have been able to present it in person rather than having to hurriedly re-format it into printed form and if it had been marked by the original staff member rather than the hardest case in the department who has pulled absolutely everything up on it. I still got a good mark for it in the first mark band - but could definitely have done better in the circumstances it was intended to be done in.

@BarkandCheese and MagdaS - yup, theatre has also been part of my life for all of my adult life. Worrying about it lots and missing it hugely - I'm actually finding recordings of live performances like NTLive really quite upsetting. But, theatres, concerts, opera etc will be back at some point - using the bloody Spanish Flu analogy, which also caused theatres to close for a while - but they bounced back eventually.

Can we start using Covidcas a pretext for banning stuff we have always hated?

I mean, if it works for Dementors...

Like, is it a coincidence that before Sweet Potato Fries (boak) were everywhere, there was no Pandemic?

I DON'T THINK SO. CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL.

ARE THEY ESSENTIAL? YOU WON'T DIE WITHOUT THEM.

Can I just add the words. Utter carnage

To the the other words that dementors lov3 to trot out

Theatre is also a massive industry that employs lots of people.

We can't afford to lose it.

Hi everyone!

Been keeping up but they move so fast! Thought I would share this to give you all a laugh can't believe it's actually someone's job to produce this shit!

Checking in

Feeling very down. Trying to help DS 14 with his English. Got him to check all his school emails - each subject teacher appears to send at least 3 a week. Turns out he missed -a very rare- google classroom in Maths as teacher posted at 7.50 am about a 10.00am meeting. It's impossible to get DS out of bed before 10 so he missed it, proving yet again what a shit parent I am for not being able to get a grumpy teenager to stick to normal school hours when majority of lessons appear to be powerpoint slides and solo work to do.

I can't do this as well as working. I can't be a teacher and an employee. Ironically it's a fee paying school as well, but hey ho Covid donchaknow. And as we're in Scotland no schooling now until August and we've received an email today to stress that it won't be normal education as we know it.

9 people died in Scotland - 9, think it was 45 new infections.My child's future is being decimated because 9 people died.

That list! It’s like handmaid’s tale with contraception.

@Dollybagwash

Hi everyone!

Been keeping up but they move so fast! Thought I would share this to give you all a laugh can't believe it's actually someone's job to produce this shit!

Are you enjoying sex?

Well then it is filthy and spreading disease.

You are ONLY allowed to do those things if you are married.

Flashback to Catholic sex ed there.

@dollybagwash
My dog licks herself around the anus - are we in trouble as a family?

I’m always surprised that my dd is a filthy animal but the dog is stroked and doted on by many. Dog ate shit this morning, dd had a wash and cleaned her teeth. I know who I’d trust to lick me (well neither but you get my point)!