MN Beginners Guide.

[SeaSaltandLime]

• A isn't a good thing.
• You must RTFT (read the full thread) before commenting.
• If you find an unidentifiable object in your home, you must lick it.

If that object is moving, you must poke it.

• You can bookmark and save threads. Placemarking and littering (I.e putting . on a thread) is not necessary.
• Any parking threads must include a diagram.
• Adding a 'fuck you daily mail' disclaimer to your thread will do fuck all.
• You do not need to prove your MN worthiness after a name change by including old 'classic' thread themes (naice ham, Pom Bears..) It's not necessary.

Anymore to add?

Drip.

Don’t post photos of your good looking self asking if you look nice.

We cannot tell you if you’re pregnant or not. Do a test.

-Make sure to hate Halloween
-Be left leaning or else
-Always, Always blame Americans for everything

All MNers must look young for their age.

Most people have anxiety.

Dogs must always come first, and there's something odd about people who don't like them.

People are likely to derail any AIBU with irrelevancies.

E.g.

AIBU to be annoyed because a staff member at Tesco screamed 'Your an asshole' when I politely asked where to find the gravy granules?

• It's 'you're' - HTH
• YABU for shopping at Tesco, not Waitrose
• YABU for not making your gravy from scratch
• I read your other thread where you said you've got a broken leg so you can't have been in Tesco today.
• YANBU, the other day I got shouted at for using a P&C space in Tesco even though clearly I had my five children with me.
• @ poster no. 3 - what gravy recipe do you use?

You probably aren't the bra size you think you are.

You will be told to get a 10p bag for life or a £2k work of beauty if you ask for handbag recommendations.

If everyone says YABU, take it on the chin.

Without other details, we will presume your DHs time and money consuming hobby is cycling. It always is.

@AnneKipanki Drip?

Balonz was funny though @NoSauce

SeaSalt, I think Anne is guilty of a MN crime through only writing "drip", so that she could add "feeding" a few posts later - a classic example of drip-feeding at its worst if you ask me .

Drip - don't drip feed when you post else you will be hung drawn and quartered before anyone decides whether YABU or not.

Balonz was funny though

Not really and it’s even less funny when someone on a baby name thread says Balonz! as a suggestion.

Are you are a step mum with issues with your DHs ex or step children?

Then state in your opening post that you were not the OW and they had been separated for a while before you met your DH, or else it'll be pages of posters asking if you were the OW before they will comment on the actual issue.

You must mention in your OP that you have anxiety. Don't drip feed it 50 posts later when the thread isn't going your way.

Your husbands hobby should be kept secret because it's outing. But we all know it's cycling.

Never post a photo of yourself asking how much people think you weigh. You will regret it.
Never use exclamation marks.

I think everyone should make out that their husband's embarrassing hobby is collecting silicone butt plugs... (no it's not, it's cycling really).

Greenteandchives And never post a picture asking how old you look, either, unless you want everyone to tell you you look 96.

Unless you are 96, obviously!

A moon cup is the only acceptable form of sanitary wear and you should really call this sanpro even though you will have never ever heard this expression in real life.

"A isn't a good thing." - I wish I had known, I believed I was kindly offering tea and biscuits kindly and realised later I was being twattish. I had to change name pronto after that. Oooooops.

@TheFatberg I didn't realise until today that I use 'centipede' frequently enough for an autocorrect!

This is hysterical

On a serious note, don't go suggesting that you should "take it to the board of governors" when someone posts about Scottish schools. We don't have that or even know what that is!!

Feed.