MN Beginners Guide.

[SeaSaltandLime]

• A isn't a good thing.
• You must RTFT (read the full thread) before commenting.
• If you find an unidentifiable object in your home, you must lick it.

If that object is moving, you must poke it.

• You can bookmark and save threads. Placemarking and littering (I.e putting . on a thread) is not necessary.
• Any parking threads must include a diagram.
• Adding a 'fuck you daily mail' disclaimer to your thread will do fuck all.
• You do not need to prove your MN worthiness after a name change by including old 'classic' thread themes (naice ham, Pom Bears..) It's not necessary.

Anymore to add?

Correct @FermatsTheorem

@AnneKipanki

@FermatsTheorem excellent spot!! MN Golden biscuit for you.

(I've taken it upon myself to invent MN awards. A golden biscuit will soon be a medal of honour!)

Well played @AnneKipanki
Well played...

MN irregularl verbs :

My child is spirited.
Your child is cheeky.
Her child is a sociopathic monster.

My child can read, so is gifted.
Your child can read, so is bright.
Her child is barely literate.

I shall wear my golden biscuit with pride .

I like the idea of MN irregular verbs.

My child (on the 99th centipede - my new fave autocorrect) is strongly muscled.
Your child is big-boned.
Her child is fat.

My child is independent minded and capable of expressing his own opinions.
Your child is a bit cheeky.
Her child deserves a permanent exclusion for the sake of my child's learning.

Be clear on the use of the the DD1, DS3 thing birth order vs age.

The number should refer to birth order especially if placed directed after the DD or DS.

I'm always irritated by e.g DD6. Does it mean they are your 6th child...

If you mean your only daughter is 6yrs old- say Dd1, aged 6yo or DD1 (6)

If the thread title is asking for opinions/ experience from a specific group of people, it's apparently fine to trample all over their thread if you're not one of those people.
E.g. "if you're a SAHM, do you find X difficult?"

Cue "I'm not a SAHM but I never had a problem with X"

Or "can a police officer tell me if X is normal process?" "Not a police officer but my brother got nicked once in 1989 and something like this happened to him"

Wine is sacred and you must have a glass if anything remotely inconveniences your day.

If the OP does not provide a back story, or one you don't agree with. Feel free to invent your own.

If the OP complains about her dp then adds he is a good dad/usually decent, the correct response is NO HE IS NOT.

Oh and don't even think about commenting unless you've RTFT

When someone is blatantly bullshitting, if you call them out in it, there will immediately be a posse at the ready to defend the blatant bullshitter / troll.

"I'm always irritated by e.g DD6. Does it mean they are your 6th child..."

It should mean that she is your 6th daughter.

As opposed to DD(6) who is your only daughter, who is 6. Or perhaps your daughters are: DD1(9) and DD2(6)

You don't need to add the number when you have only one of that sex: example I have 3 children who would be:

DC1, DC2 and DC3, or
DS1, DS2 and DD

MN irregular verbs.

My lasagna is authentic and made from scratch
Your lasagna is passable
Her lasagna isn’t even pasta

My child wears organic fair trade, gender neutral cotton clothes
Your child wears nice enough clothes
Her child scavenges for bin bags

My child snacks on raw carrots and organic homemade hummus
Your child snacks on dairy Lea dunkers
Her child was weaned on polystyrene packing peanuts

What? You mean I shouldn't be feeding DS on polystyrene packing peanuts?

Well, to quote another MN favourite line "Every day's a school day!"

Don't live in social housing, there are other people who need it more than you.

Learn the phrases "it's not a race to the bottom" and "give your head a wobble."

If you hate Meghan Markle you are a racist.

Most importantly if you post on the litter tray board you must also post a cute picture of your cat for the rest of us to oooh and aww at.

If you are a man stay away from the feminism boards, we really don't give a fuck what your opinion is.

I think you'll find it's irregular adjectives.

If you are a man stay away from the feminism boards, we really don't give a fuck what your opinion is

On the feminism boards we don't give a fuck what your opinion is if you're a woman, either.

You never eat RED MEAT but if you do it's always 'locally sourced' never from Tesco.

Report all neighbours who you think are committing benefit fraud.

Even if they're not on benefits.

I like MN irregular verbs.

My bedding is washed once a week and is perfectly clean.
Your bedding is dirty.
Her bedding is a cesspit of sweat, ejaculate and faecal flakes.

(Does that work? I'm very tired)

Bear in mind what when you're describing your job, MNetters refer to it as a "role."

It doesn't matter what it is, it's a "role".

Got that? HTH.

I like MN irregular verbs

They're still adjectives.

Make sure you get all your ducks in a row before you LTB.

Be pedantic about grammatical errors.