Do you have problems? I can solve everything.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I can help with anything, please step inside my lovely advice clinic where my team of kindly Agony Aunts will cure you forever.

Thislido well exactly, imagine not helping yourself to a police car. Remember to shout "i pay your wages Sonny Jim" as you drive off in one.

Evening dears. I’m drinking wine on the sofa and watching Sabrina The Teenage Witch.

You wondered how we did that didn't you? Maud has been with us all along, she's one of my more pleasant alter egos.

Reginald I'm sure there was something we wanted you to build, probs a weapon. Do you feel offended that we dead name you? I wasn't offering to change, i was just curious.

**

Is this a WI meet? How lovely.

Any cake going spare?

Noway has your delivery of Mr Faeces not arrived yet??

That is outrageous I sent him via Amazon Prime! I'm going to complain to Theresa May!!

Project! Yooo hooo!!

Disgraceful. I’ll add Jeff Bezos to MI5’s hut list dangly

Funko are you fully tooled up?

If you wanna play with the big girls you need to be able to handle automatic weapons!

HIT LIST! Fuck you, phone

Many thanks Project 🤗

dangly I have a staple gun and a laminator and I am not fucking afraid to use em!

< fills room with popcorn scented vapour >

💨👀💨

That's cool Funko you could take out a few DH's with this kind of weaponery!!

I am liking you're style

Funko we respect violence and laziness here. It's an odd mix, could it be you?

That's cool Funko you could take out a few DH's with this kind of weaponery!!

I am liking you're style

Who wanted a severed cock? I've just had a rummage through our bucket of spare harvested organs and i could only find a cat cock I'm afraid. There's 2 livers, a kidney, half a brain (shotgun), a foot, an ear, a retina, a wart and some skin. There's also the bucket of pubes and bumhair for the folically afflicted. Oooh and a face! Oh, it's Getting.

I potentially wanted a cock thigh. I fear Mr Dirty Faeces has been delivered to one of my neighbours by mistake (hopefully not to Roy across the road - he's 95) so I am unable to confirm atm

thigh I stocked up on booze on Friday en-route home from work and have not left the house since. My house ought to be spotless but actually needs a damn good vacuum, dust and a trip to the recycling is long overdue. Does that qualify me satisfactorily?

I have a mean critical stare, and a PHD in Google.

And booze, did I mention I have plenty of booze?

A retina might be handy with my eyesight. Does it work?

Just blow the fluff off it no, you’ll be grand

Noway if you need a hand fitting that new retina, I have my staple gun.

I'm starting to wonder how many actual people are on this thread, i fear it may just be me (I'm real) and only one other poster who may be suffering from Dissociative identity disorder.

But then according to my mirror, I'm an azalea, so perhaps all is well.

Mention of the WI has inspired me to swap my boiling oil for vats of boiling jam. It’s basically napalm, isn’t it?

Funko how steady is your hand after your weekend lock-in?

Dog I just had that that exact thought. I don’t think she could name change that often but maybe she has multiple devices and accounts and types really fast.