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Original poster

Do you have problems? I can solve everything.

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 07/04/2019 17:31

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I can help with anything, please step inside my lovely advice clinic where my team of kindly Agony Aunts will cure you forever.

OP posts:
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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 07/04/2019 20:34

Thislido well exactly, imagine not helping yourself to a police car. Remember to shout "i pay your wages Sonny Jim" as you drive off in one.

OP posts:
PettyLaBelle · 07/04/2019 20:36

Evening dears. I’m drinking wine on the sofa and watching Sabrina The Teenage Witch.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 07/04/2019 20:37

You wondered how we did that didn't you? Maud has been with us all along, she's one of my more pleasant alter egos.

OP posts:
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 07/04/2019 20:39

Reginald I'm sure there was something we wanted you to build, probs a weapon. Do you feel offended that we dead name you? I wasn't offering to change, i was just curious.

OP posts:
Funko · 07/04/2019 20:39

**

Is this a WI meet? How lovely.

Any cake going spare?

DanglyTassles · 07/04/2019 20:40

Noway has your delivery of Mr Faeces not arrived yet??

That is outrageous I sent him via Amazon Prime! I'm going to complain to Theresa May!!

Project! Yooo hooo!!

ProjectGainsborough · 07/04/2019 20:44

Disgraceful. I’ll add Jeff Bezos to MI5’s hut list dangly

DanglyTassles · 07/04/2019 20:44

Funko are you fully tooled up?

If you wanna play with the big girls you need to be able to handle automatic weapons!

ProjectGainsborough · 07/04/2019 20:44

HIT LIST! Fuck you, phone

DanglyTassles · 07/04/2019 20:45

Many thanks Project 🤗

Funko · 07/04/2019 20:48

dangly I have a staple gun and a laminator and I am not fucking afraid to use em!

< fills room with popcorn scented vapour >

💨👀💨

DanglyTassles · 07/04/2019 20:51

That's cool Funko you could take out a few DH's with this kind of weaponery!!

I am liking you're style

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 07/04/2019 20:51

Funko we respect violence and laziness here. It's an odd mix, could it be you?

OP posts:
DanglyTassles · 07/04/2019 20:54

That's cool Funko you could take out a few DH's with this kind of weaponery!!

I am liking you're style

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 07/04/2019 20:56

Who wanted a severed cock? I've just had a rummage through our bucket of spare harvested organs and i could only find a cat cock I'm afraid. There's 2 livers, a kidney, half a brain (shotgun), a foot, an ear, a retina, a wart and some skin. There's also the bucket of pubes and bumhair for the folically afflicted. Oooh and a face! Oh, it's Getting.

OP posts:
Nowaypast · 07/04/2019 21:01

I potentially wanted a cock thigh. I fear Mr Dirty Faeces has been delivered to one of my neighbours by mistake (hopefully not to Roy across the road - he's 95) so I am unable to confirm atm

Funko · 07/04/2019 21:01

thigh I stocked up on booze on Friday en-route home from work and have not left the house since. My house ought to be spotless but actually needs a damn good vacuum, dust and a trip to the recycling is long overdue. Does that qualify me satisfactorily?

I have a mean critical stare, and a PHD in Google.

And booze, did I mention I have plenty of booze?

Nowaypast · 07/04/2019 21:02

A retina might be handy with my eyesight. Does it work?

ProjectGainsborough · 07/04/2019 21:05

Just blow the fluff off it no, you’ll be grand

Funko · 07/04/2019 21:05

Noway if you need a hand fitting that new retina, I have my staple gun.

DogHairEverywhere · 07/04/2019 21:08

I'm starting to wonder how many actual people are on this thread, i fear it may just be me (I'm real) and only one other poster who may be suffering from Dissociative identity disorder.

DogHairEverywhere · 07/04/2019 21:09

But then according to my mirror, I'm an azalea, so perhaps all is well.

thislido · 07/04/2019 21:09

Mention of the WI has inspired me to swap my boiling oil for vats of boiling jam. It’s basically napalm, isn’t it?

Nowaypast · 07/04/2019 21:10

Funko how steady is your hand after your weekend lock-in?

thislido · 07/04/2019 21:10

Dog I just had that that exact thought. I don’t think she could name change that often but maybe she has multiple devices and accounts and types really fast.