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Do you have problems? I can solve everything.

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 07/04/2019 17:31

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I can help with anything, please step inside my lovely advice clinic where my team of kindly Agony Aunts will cure you forever.

OP posts:
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54
thislido · 07/04/2019 21:11

Im real two so there’s at least three of us.

ProjectGainsborough · 07/04/2019 21:11

Shit. Maybe we’re all just figments of thigh’s overactive imagination.

This is all too Jacob’s Ladder for my fragile mental state.

Nowaypast · 07/04/2019 21:11

Project assuming you're referring to Mr Dirty Faeces's cock, there'll be no blowing until I've had a close look

PettyLaBelle · 07/04/2019 21:12

Not at all Thigh. I also quite like that you call me Reginald, even though I was just Reg. Makes me feel naughty.

Nowaypast · 07/04/2019 21:13

I don't think I'm a figment of thigh's imagination. But how can I be sure?

thislido · 07/04/2019 21:13

Funko have you been lurking for the last 6/7/8 threads? I like you but you seem to have settled in surprisingly quickly.

Funko · 07/04/2019 21:14

Noway steady as a, um steady thing that doesn't shake.

The trick is to keep the alcohol to blood ratio at a constant high. Grin

Anyone fancy a Bud?

Funko · 07/04/2019 21:15

This hah! Literally found this post and thought you all seemed as nuts as me! Smile

AgnosticBaker · 07/04/2019 21:17

@Iklboo-- "Dh wants to get his snake out". It's ok to brag a little about your sex lifeGrin but the frozen mouse was TMI.

myname666 · 07/04/2019 21:17

Can I book an appointment please?

Nowaypast · 07/04/2019 21:17

Funko come on over then with your staple gun. If the retina doesn't fit, I'm sure we can use the gun for practice on Mr D F

pineapplebryanbrown · 07/04/2019 21:18

Fuxake Thislido you're too good! I'm Funko!

OP posts:
thislido · 07/04/2019 21:18

I actually had several moments wondering what they were going to do with frozen mouse until I realised that the snake was lieterally a snake.

Funko welcome! I have a staple gun too.

Funko · 07/04/2019 21:19

Jesus I've been here 5 minutes and some fucker has stolen my identity! What kind of fucking Club is this????

thislido · 07/04/2019 21:20

Well you said you were nuts...

Funko · 07/04/2019 21:21
thislido · 07/04/2019 21:22

thigh to be more convincing the initial approach needs to be slightly more tentative.

But not appointments! 666 how can we help?

pineapplebryanbrown · 07/04/2019 21:22

I'm Funko and Maud.

OP posts:
thislido · 07/04/2019 21:22

Funko we don’t shoot each other. You don’t want to see what happens when Thigh triggers and emergency.

thislido · 07/04/2019 21:23

I like the name Maud. Reminds me of The Worst Witch.

ProjectGainsborough · 07/04/2019 21:24

If anyone wants me, I’ll be rocking in the corner cuddling my bucket of organs. They’re the only thing that makes sense any more

thislido · 07/04/2019 21:27

Project you can cuddle me, I’m terribly confused.

myname666 · 07/04/2019 21:29

I am so tired I should go to bed but my (recently discovered) bogie flicking husband is already in bed and I don't want to walk into my boudoir our bedroom incase I get bogies on my feet

CarolinePooter · 07/04/2019 21:31

lido it reminds me that "The black bat, Night, has flown."

I think it refers to British Summer Time

DiscoDown · 07/04/2019 21:33

I've eaten about half of a quite large apple pie today. I'm tempted to eat the rest of it but slightly concerned about the state of my arteries if I do. What do you reckon?

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