Do you have problems? I can solve everything.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I can help with anything, please step inside my lovely advice clinic where my team of kindly Agony Aunts will cure you forever.

a toilet and freezer next to the sofa? Good idea

No were you hoping for a large, severed cock? Or just a couple of bollocks?

For those who don’t want to piss their slankets

I believe (if Dangly is to be trusted) that he has one functioning bollock, and a fully operational todger. But if you have a big one going spare I'll take it off your hands.

That orange chair looks just the job. Does it come in other colours?

Is the first one a pic of Broadmoor? It looks familiar, but I guess thigh would know better than me.

So am I really Thigh? I think my cognitive dissonance just got worse.

Thisters!!

Hmmm, not quite... it’s apparently the Papaye Restaurant, Port-au-Prince

Maud you must install posters over the mirrors. Any picture you like. You can cut them out of magazines and it will be like being a teenager again.

They serve food too midnight? I can’t think of anything nicer than eating next to a lavatory and a basket overflowing with tissues

Back at work tommorrow after a weeks annual leave. Its a bit inconvenient and gets in the way of me wanting to do other things. Money is good but they are a bunch of nobs. They selfishly wont pay me if i dont work..this is a massive problem

Housewife I’m guessing from the “eh” your problem is you’re hard of hearing? You should embrace it. All the nagging requests will pass you by. If you’re not hard of hearing then you should immediately pretend to be. Get some hearing aids but tell everyone you can’t have them on because of the high pitched noises they make.

Wheely we generally recommend Labyrinthitis or Lupus, probably best to start with former, it should buy you a couple of weeks. Very hard to prove you don’t have it.

Owlish just join us!

Or are you making an anthropological study of us?

ARE WE GOING TO BE IN NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC???

I find it very othering myself.

I tried that tip of cutting out a picture from a magazine to tape over the mirror, but i just looked like an azalea

I think I could cope with the tissues Project, it’s the food I’d struggle with

Maud you know we are each other. We've never really minded about the cognitive dissonance have we?

Stop using Gardner’s World magazines Dog. Or at least go for a picture of Bob Flowerdew.

Wheely hold up a bank then you can tell them to stuff their pay. I believe some thighlanders have access to police cars which may help you

Police cars are a communal resource. Taxpayers money innit.

Maud and i both feel othered. Othered and offended. Marginalised even.

Thank you for the sound advice. Will tape pictures of Monty Don to all mirrors and gaze in awe.