Do you have problems? I can solve everything.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I can help with anything, please step inside my lovely advice clinic where my team of kindly Agony Aunts will cure you forever.

I would like some of the organs?

I'm short of a liver and also would fancy the wart to go with my herpes?

Only if nobody else has bagsied it though!

Did you recently discover your husband? That must have been a nasty surprise.

Anyway, you are looking at this the wrong way. Crawl in with a torch and collect the bogeys. Drop them into his mouth. If you can’t find any, supplement with blue tack. Tell him I’m fiture he should stick them to bedframe like a normal person.

If that all seems like a lot of effort you could just kill him, it’s up to you really.

myname you need to get hold of the bucket of pubes and weave them into slippers. I believe pooter is the expert in this field.

666 sounds like you've got his number now. LTB!

Disco I’m happy to reassure you that the apple pie won’t go anywhere near your arteries, that’s not how we digest food. Go ahead!

I’ve just spotted we have a tray baker on the thread. What have your brought us?

"I am here at the gate, alone" (hums)

How long does is take to grow enough to fill a bucket of pubes??
Murder is not my style. Don't think I'd like prison food

Porridge, lovely porridge. You get used to it after a while.

I discovered my husband many years ago but he wouldn't have become my husband had I discovered he was a bogie flicker before our nuptials

myname thank Christ for the clarification. I was getting cold sweats that 'discovering a husband' was a thing.

After offing the last one I couldn't bear to discover another one lurking. Sneaky fuckers.

myname murder is allowed in Thighland, it is normal and acceptable so you won;t go to prison at all.

Set fire to him and all of his bogies, present and past, and then marry someone much more sexy.

I think the pubes are already grown and are a communal resource. A bit like the police cars.

Excellent, I've eaten the rest and now feel slightly sick. Worth it.

Oh funko cute fluffy animals tend to just get discovered in our house but definitely not husbands. Thank god!

noway you are correct, our problem is collecting them. People don't realise there is a shortage, they just put them in landfill. What a waste! There should be collection boxes in supermarkets.

Poorer right next to the doggy food bank???

Pooter. Dam autocorrect

disco think of the vitamin content, fruit is v healthy and piecrust aids absorption!

Landfill? I lob my mown pubes over the neighbours fence. I thought everyone did? Bonus points if they are having one of their twice weekly bbqs.

myname well it would be a Good Cause so I'm sure the supermarkets would be all for it. There could be extra days during the year, too, with collectors chivvying shoppers to donate.

Well funko the birds will love your pubes and use them for nest building. But save some for the supermarket collecting bin, too!

thigh an etiquette question for you. I was watching an AIBU thread because I wanted to come back later and laugh at people. Now It's been deleted???!!! Should I shun the topic for evermore, or can I still poke fun? I was planning on topping myself to help people onto the property ladder, but perhaps it would be tasteless to say so?

So after a lot of thought I decided to ignore you lot because quite frankly you're all batty fruit loops.
I waited until my husband nipped to the loo and I did a poo on his pillow then got in to the bed. I'm currently hiding under the covers pretending to be asleep whilst husband is drunkenly asleep with a ear full of poo.
Good night nut jobs.

And thanks for nothing