Is Your Life Shit? I can solve all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a kindly non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and I run a lovely advice clinic. Please bring me your problems and I will solve them, forever.

I think we're staying the right side of the work/crime line, Getting. By which I mean the crime side. Where's our bent copper friend got to? Joyriding I expect.

I bought extra lottery tickets this week. They were sniffy about your crayoned ones. Now I realise we should have just crayoned one of those giant novelty cheques and cut out the middle man.

This one of my all-time favourite Thighland moments was the discussion of Mrs Schrödinger and the integral garage. If she puts Schrödinger in the garage and closes the door, is he both dead and alive?
Sleeping husband not quite as satisfying.

Thislido I was only entranced by the title, like a shiny bauble. Does the sleeping husband have money attached to him? A silent husband who brings in money and doesn't disturb you at all. Like an annuity, I don't see the problem. He could have a man cave too for when he's awake.

We use Dangly's husband as a bottle opener. Is there a useful role Sleeping husband could perform for us?

Thislido the bent copper is

@Hellenbackagen

she confirmed to us that all police are only in it for the sex and pension and that none of them have a driving license hence the use of lights and sirens.

Exactly. Goes out, works, presumably had no expensive hobbies, sleeps. Indentured labour, really, I mean you don't expect your slaves to hang out with you in the evening.

I think Hellen took her partner to Mexico to kill him, waste of a plane ticket if you ask me. Reg has a garage and a patio, a veritable killing factory.

Ive reported this thread. I cant believe mums Net lets you write these things.

I admire Reg's creativity.

Belief driving!

Getting would it be too weird to explain Schrodinger to the sleeping husband OP?

Hello pineapple! 🍍

Oh thank fuck pineapple save us from ourselves, please! I'd be very interested to see if you can get this thread pulled, we've been trying our hardest for 6/7/8 threads.

I suppose the husband could be an enormous paperweight

I hear some threads are copied onto Netmums. Do you think it's happened to us?

thislido I don't think so, I think we're only here. It's safer that way if we're contained.

Ah theres the mystical pineapple! Here to unleash some misery and comtempt

I'm just wondering which bit is offensive?

The murdering, the child hatred, the stripping, the zoo release or is it just the swearing?

Pineapple only posts on our threads. We are her favourite.

I hardly ever say cunt, that's Project and she's Theresa May so what do you expect from a wheatfield flasher.

I'm Australian. It's cultural

Wayhehey!!

Did somebody say 'offensive' ?

I think she really just wants to be friends, but hasn't got great social skills so resorts to the 'treat em mean, keep em keen' method.

We could have a fruit amnesty