Is Your Life Shit? I can solve all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a kindly non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and I run a lovely advice clinic. Please bring me your problems and I will solve them, forever.

Dog and Elephantina, you’re right. Someone has put their bum in my tea.

This is so disappointing.

Elephant do you work for Theresa May

WarmFun do not do anything, just snuggle up on the sofa in a comfy slanket and line up some decent snax.

You might also benefit from a pint of wine/gin/vodka all mixed up (called Wodka) it's for people with a dilemma they can't be arsed solving!

Have they left their bum in your tea? Didn't you notice? I need a Sports Direct mug per arse cheek.

DT should it be Winka?

MrsMozart the best thing for a sore back is movement. Suggest some gentle stretching to reach the remote followed by an energetic trip to the kitchen to get snax

these threads move so bloody quick! thigh do you still need security? im a bit shit in that im not around that much and when i am i tend to be asleep.....but im here in spirit!

Oh ok thigh well it's now called either Wodka, Woda or Winka depending on nothing at all.

FunnyOldOnion I find the activity that costs the least is doing nothing at all, curl up on the sofa and put the tv on and snooze. Eat what is in the cupboard even if that is fungus. If you have dependents tell them to go and live next door.

I have no hot water (electric boiler) and haven't had for months.
This wasn't a huge issue as the shower and washer both heated up water and I just boiled the kettle to wash up.

Unfortunately the washer has broken and the shower is now tripping the wall switch and won't turn on.

All of this requires an electrician.
Unfortunately the electrician our landlord uses is the best friend of my exh who cannot know where we live so I literally don't know what to do.

MrsMozart if out do make it as far as the kitchen for Snax, make sure you're not in Project's kitchen, there might be a bum in your Snax.

name how young are you? I've become less pleasing with age.

Too just to stop dicking around for a second, can you explain the situation to your landlord? Or citizens advice if he won’t use anyone else?

Elephantina why don't you set up a fight for them both and then just watch as they bash the fuck out of each other. Tell them they are allowed any weapons at all and there are no rulz.

it should be more peaceful after that one way or an other.

Project it is disappointing when someone puts their bum in your tea.

and years of therapy.

Lie down quietly somewhere and think about how you could be friends with yourself. Split personalities have a bad name, but you've got to start somewhere.

Dog I would just eat the bum as well to be polite.

I want a cup of tea big enough to lose an arse in.

Too I'm assuming moving is not an option?

That's a good shout Dangly. Just get them to wrestle it out. I could watch, with popcorn.

iklboo of course she is! She is a manager and therefore insane! Don't listen to her ever again!

warm move without your son and leave it to the new residents to evict him. Sometimes you have to make the choice clearer to them.

Elephantina video it so you can monetise it on YouTube later.

name hang around with us for a few threads and you will be able to catch megalomania by osmosis from thigh.

I've got it now and I feel so much better for it.

Hi I have undiagnosed rocd( form of ocd)
Trying to access treatment through the nhs
With mental health assessments and treatments it's going to take a long time isn't it ? What can u do in the mean time ? Relaxing techniques, meditation? Thanks x

Shall I go back to work or not?