Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Is Your Life Shit? I can solve all your problems

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 19:07

I am a kindly non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and I run a lovely advice clinic. Please bring me your problems and I will solve them, forever.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
SummerHouse · 03/04/2019 21:48

Come on green

CarolinePooter · 03/04/2019 21:49

You know we could just have done a spell, right? OK, try it your way ;-)

TheLoneWolfDies · 03/04/2019 21:50

Maybe if we leave a trail of erections from the spell post to this one, the OP will follow.

DanglyTassles · 03/04/2019 21:50

LadyCarolineofPooter do a spell!

pineapplebryanbrown · 03/04/2019 21:51

DT I liked Green best, I felt she had immatured as an artist. There was a sardonic glint to her text that gave me a little frisson.

OP posts:
CarolinePooter · 03/04/2019 21:51

Or we could sit in the priest hole, munching and praying.

DanglyTassles · 03/04/2019 21:52

Lone yep try that, anyone got any spare cock?

Oh I have! I collect stick on willies for my act in the gentelmen's club!!

pineapplebryanbrown · 03/04/2019 21:53

Pooter cockmunching? I think they've had enough of that in the priest hole.

OP posts:
SummerHouse · 03/04/2019 21:53

Do you need to offer a slanket?

TheLoneWolfDies · 03/04/2019 21:53

pooter first we leave the trail of cocks. Then we sit in the priest hole and snack while we wait. Is there enough room in there for a nap?

pineapplebryanbrown · 03/04/2019 21:54

Summer ah yes - I forgot the protocol - normally a pissy slanket is patted and snax proffered.

OP posts:
thislido · 03/04/2019 21:55

come on green, lay down your lego here.

pineapplebryanbrown · 03/04/2019 21:55

A trail of Schrodinger's cocks, or willy willy not.

Ooh perfume for £169 now, still no.

Off to shop for fags n snax.

OP posts:
CarolinePooter · 03/04/2019 21:56

dangly I have been defrocked it was just the S&B talking!! I am a commoner again but now have a deep psychic connection with the unseen. I can definitely let you cross my palm with silver!!

DanglyTassles · 03/04/2019 21:59

Oh I see, well I haven't any silver Pooter but imagine the funz if Green comes over here!

That will be your reward for the spell!

CarolinePooter · 03/04/2019 21:59

Come on green, it's only a man in a dress!

CarolinePooter · 03/04/2019 22:00

Yes he's got a cock or he wouldn't be a priest, silly!

pineapplebryanbrown · 03/04/2019 22:03

A cock in a frock.

OP posts:
CarolinePooter · 03/04/2019 22:04

She seems a bit nervous. Tell her how nice we are!

CarolinePooter · 03/04/2019 22:07

Actually we lied about the priest.

CarolinePooter · 03/04/2019 22:08

We're actually having a picnic.

CarolinePooter · 03/04/2019 22:12

It could be a slow burner, this one.

pineapplebryanbrown · 03/04/2019 22:16

Nvm, 1 volunteer is worth 10 press't men.

OP posts:
nakedscientist · 03/04/2019 22:19

"An alleged scientific discovery has no merit unless it can be explained to a barmaid"

UUUUUUURRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG Angry

I need a gun, plastic sheeting, fuckboys and a pig. NOW

Followed by a Thighland comfort pack (Gin, Snax, Slanket)

pineapplebryanbrown · 03/04/2019 22:19

Thislido was uncle Quentin a chemist or just a generic mad scientist? Was his wife aunt Fanny?

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread