Is Your Life Shit? I can solve all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a kindly non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and I run a lovely advice clinic. Please bring me your problems and I will solve them, forever.

Excellent work +Summer*
*
Dog* we have a murder weapon with the pointy coat now so you can just beast your phone all around the back garden! Remember to shout orders through your nose that it cannot understand!

Phone now covered with snow and dog poo.
Not sure that's helped a lot, tbh.

Just remembered I'm in Thighland though, where reverse improvement is our aim...let's go of autocorrect angst, relaxes into Slanket, stuffs face with monster munch.

Or even lets go. (I have a long way to go before I reach my inner thigh).

Wise dog misspellings and alternative words should celebrityated.

Ange got that. She was grate.

True!! I'm off to buy Ange's product!

bloodsport that is horrific! Lie down and your thisters will bring you gin and a straw!

DT devastated for me, happy for you that you are taking your novelty fanny on the road in honour of Stringy, are you touring the closed pit villages? Don't forget your balls.

pina and sponge you are hugged into our smelly embrace!!

Hi Thighland! So thismorning I put baby formula in a mug and put it under the bottle maker. I think i mixed up my tea with the babys bottle. Serious naps to be had today!
I feel like the walking dead 😭 hows everyone else!?

summer brave work as an undercover agent. It is not for the fainthearted!

hows everyone else!?

Really fucking tired. Keep nodding off over my laptop. I prefer Thighland to real life.

Oh wolf was it builder's tea? 2 tea bags and 4 sugars? Stand a spoon up in It?

Today babywolf is going to have a day of being very unreliable. If he bothers to turn up at all he will play radio 1 at full blast and show you his bumcrack a lot.

You, on the other hand, will have lots of power naps and fart with gay abandon.

Enjoy!

lido me too, I feel your pain. I wanna go back to bed.

lido you need some baby formula and some naps n farts. Try and get a doctor's note.

Pooter more like baby tea, 1 tea bag, 3 scoops of formula, 3 sugars and shit loads of milk!

Baby wolf needs to get a job and start paying his way! Cant flash that bumcrack forever!

That does sound like a nice day though pooter, if only the little bastard wasnt a menace 😡

I thought about getting out of bed but pretty sure i can hear rain somewhere and i may shrink if i get wet.

Oh, they're all a menace in between being cute. Stay strong!

More coffee! Coffee builds strength and power!

Thigh stay in bed forever, give your pillow a kiss from me.

My ads are trying to send me to the Southbank centre to watch children's shows over Easter. Why, when i can simply watch the malignant little oafs next door waving at me and saying hello from their fucking towering play structure.

thigh luckily it's always raining somewhere, so you are displaying excellent caution. You need to get your strength up ready for the next thread (if you fancy one)!

I keep being offered yacht insurance, even though my posh episode only lasted a day!

Thislido of course you prefer Thighland to RL, it's full of joy and violence here. RL is just ennui and obligation. I'm working on transposing the two so that we are always here, never there.