Is Your Life Shit? I can solve all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a kindly non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and I run a lovely advice clinic. Please bring me your problems and I will solve them, forever.

chooco are there any activities that you find quite absorbing?

Knitter you don't need the telly, just stay here in Thighland it'll be much more fun!

Have you got a pint of Wodka/Woda/Winka? You should!

princess as in, tomorrow? No, there's bound to be something better to do. There's rain forecast though.

Princess would you starve to death without the money? Can you go out on the rob instead? Work is for suckers.

Too could you piss yourself to stay warm and give your slanket a swill at the same time?

Chooco give yourself entirely to Thighland - we all feel wonderful now. It's such a happy, happy, lovely place. There are literally no expectations of you and we applaud failure. Imagine a place where it's impossible to get anything wrong? You found it.

Thislido I've always been friends with myself, at first it was necessity of course. But it just takes too long to explain what I want people to do, I walk away mid sentence these days.

I did have a boyfriend who had literally no ego boundary who actually became me. It was awesome at first but then he became himself again and he bored me when he wasn't being me.

Hello hellen !! thigh does indeed still need security, she is in danger at all times from jealous haterz! (well there one once anywayz!)

Don't worry if you are asleep, it's ok, you can still protect us.

• was one once

What will happen on my blind date?

Hello op I am delighted to see your new thread.
I have 3 questions.

1. My boss is very lazy, how can I get him to do some of his actual work?
2. how are you able to come up with such great answers; caffeine, drugs etc?
3. is there a free and preferably non-existent service I can perform for you in return for your help?

Chooco it's lovely here, all we have to do is lie down, solve people's problems and not improve ourselves. So relaxing to have no expectations except to please ourselves and have fun.

Thighland is the right place for you if you need to relax. Never forget, The aim is reverse improvement which is easy!

Thank you. I've taken you at your word and have eaten half my body weight in shortbread biscuits...

Obsidian if I may in thigh's absence (I think she's doing a poo and I do love a list!)

1. Do not do his work for him, in fact do even less work than your contract states. Do there bare minimum and skive here in Thighland all day, remember he is insane so anything he says is irrelevant.

2. thigh is high on her megalomania, it is contagious by osmosis, I have it now and enjoy it very much. Stick around and you will surely catch it too!

3. There will be, just wait until she has finished her poo and she will designate a role for you I'm sure!

Psall well if your date is blind, please bring his guide dog to me as an offering. I've always wanted one.

77 I would like some more lion cubs and giraffes with machine gunz please. TIA.

2. plenty of rest and snax

Thanks thigh... looking forward to all the naps

I thought this was going to be about us: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3548691-What-the-fresh-hell-is-this-weird-disembodied-voice-coming-from-mumsnet

Thislido that's hilarious, i wish we knew how to do that to people!

Did everyone make it across?

Where is @CarolinePooter @M3lon @LadAlive ?

Not seen pineapple yet. I'm worried about her. What if she's gone the same way as her sense of humour?

thislido that's a point. I was half expecting her to pop back and go 'Haaaaaa got you all! Was only joking! As if I could be that sour really!!' and then join in the funz and japes.

But no twas tumbleweed from her ...

It would really be odd if she continued to next thread to tell us how smug, clever and unfunny we are.

True, it would! I do miss old pineapple though!