Embarrassed after last night

Also I’ve just read your replies. Sorry to say but I do think the homeschooling is relevant. Your children aren’t use to sitting and eating with other children so they didn’t know how to behave. My 3 year old is at a school nursery, they are told what colour table to sit at and all 30 have to sit down and eat their lunch when they are told to. Can’t get up and run around. Eating with other children is a real anomaly for your children so they are bound to behave differently.

I don't think this is relevant at all. Mine don't behave like this and apart from the odd (picnic blanket) play date have never sat with other children for meals at a table as you describe.

Oh please don't be embarrassed children are totally unpredictable and a completly different environment can spark off all sorts of things plus they may also pickup on your vibes too. You don't have naughty children, there is no such thing, but you may have spirited lovely children who in the eyes of others may sometimes do naughty things.

You already have the idea in your head that restaurants and meals like this are not for children so any behaviour from your boys that isn't mirroring the other children will be picked up on by you as you will be hyper aware. As long as the children are not disturbing other guests outside of your party or being disruptive to the serving staff then it's OK for the children to behave like this. We have always made a point to take our boys (now 5 and 8) to restaurants with family, friends or on our own, they haven't always been family friendly restaurants either. Our children are not anglels by any stretch but we teach them how to behave from a young age and can spot when they might play up so have strategies like taking them for a quick walk round outside or letting them sit under the table as long as they don't disturb others. We also have a rule that there is no ipads or electronics at the dinner table as we find this more disruptive than if they don't have them. Our boys also have a look at adults menus too just incase there is sonthing they would like amd have done since they could talk. Its by no means easy for us (as we have to contend with autism and ADHD) but children need to learn and understand how to behave in various environments so that can be well adjusted adults. You are being very hard on your children and perhaps you sound take them out more often to eat without electronics.

They’re still quite young to have to sit through several courses in a restaurant. That said, running around, screaming, poking other kids isn’t acceptable. My son isn’t great at eating out but has got better- I take him somewhere to run around before we eat, take snacks in case doesn’t like the food and he’s told he needs to sit quietly at the table as other diners are trying to eat their meal and it’s not a playground. Books to look at, games like uno (when older) etc Just something to work on with them and they will get there. I think boys also find this harder than girls

The thread title is misleading It’s sounds like you trying to seek justification for your kids bad behaviour every time someone agrees that yes they should have behaved better you have a excuse locked and loaded so the whole
reasoning for this post was you hoping for self gratification 🙄 your kids behaved poorly end of

Sounds like pretty normal 3 and 4 year old behaviour to me. My kids are 7, 4 and 2- the 4 year old would be exactly the same as your two sons. My 2 year old, however, would happily sit and chat away between courses and be no trouble, and wouldn’t be bothered one way or the other about a screen. The 7 year old used to be hard work, but is great now. Their temperaments are just different- we’ve not done any amazing parenting of our 2 year old to make her that way- any more than we’ve done anything wrong with our 4 year old. Honestly, give yourself a break- if they were behaving that way at an older age then maybe it would be something to look at- but 3 and 4? You’re fine!!

Mine were all different, two of mine in particular were always very easy going in restaurants, my little girl is a dream but she's the youngest and follows her siblings lead now. My two boys were as you described yours at some point but we have always ate out, even when the experience wasn't as fun with little kids trying to run around and get down from the table, they got there eventually and once they did their restaurant etiquette became as you'd want.

I'd bet the other family have been through them same as you to get to the calm, easy going dining experience they now have and if they're judging you, quite frankly, you don't need not should you care about their opinion.

Yes completely agree- I’ve got 2 boys aged 8 and 6 and at that age they would have just run riot, fought and argued and there was literally nothing I could do to stop them. Believe me we tried everything. With the best will in the world they were (and still are) fairly rowdy brothers who have tons of energy and feed off each other constantly. They’re boisterous, loud and energetic and it doesn’t translate well to sitting in a restaurant nicely.
My 2 year old girl by comparison is a dream, she will sit quietly for hours having a nice chat or colouring in!
parenting has been the same, it’s purely personality and situation and I do think people who haven’t had 2 boys close in age would struggle to understand. so much judgement on here it’s unreal 🙄

The two year old wouldn’t use an iPad, they’re 2? I don’t think kids that age really watch TV do they?

I tried to get my son at that age to watch Tv to give me ten mins every now and again but he wasn’t having any of it.

As such I don’t think comparing the 2 year old is relevant, they don’t really use screens anyway at that age.

It also depends on tired kids are hungry and what day of the week is sometimes.

my son 9/10 is absoloutely fab. Other days it can be like we took a gremlin out. He’s 6 but we often take him out for lunch etc. we take his iPad but deploy it when he’s getting bored or we want some time to chat too and b it just ‘entertain’ all the time. We often take him one of the small Lego’s too, usually entertains him the whole time.

Use the experience as a learning opportunity: talk to your children. Explain your expectations. Take some activities for them, I usually take a "happy bag" for mine, I pack drawing and colouring pads, pencils (don't bother with felt tips they're a nightmare) and a couple of 'quiet' toys (not electronic ones with sounds).

Take them out again on your own to maybe a cafe and practise, praise good behaviour and maybe get them a treat and a reward. All these behaviours are learned so keep practising until you're happy. It's a good skill to teach them 🙂.

if only parenthood came with a manual... and all kids were the same and acted the same too while we're wishing for things! The ONLY thing I know from having 3 kiddos is that they are ALL different and need different parenting tactics so its not unreasonable to assume that children from different households would be totally different - the dynamic is different too - 2 boys living together will generally interact differently together than a boy and a girl, that's just how it tends to be (and before anyone jumps on me, yes I know there are exceptions!). That said, my 'perfectly behaved' oldest, my 'tends to get bored easily' middly and my 'firecracker' littly all know that there are times when mum gives them 'the look' and its time to sit down quietly or there will be consequences when they get home (I'm talking loosing their ipads or other treat here) so its probably a little of both going on. I don't know what the solution is, maybe consider taking them for (less expensive) meals out here and there and actually teach them how they are supposed to behave - no shade on that comment but when you think about it, have you ever actually told them 'now in a place like this you are expected to stay in your seat', 'this is how you use the cutlery', this is how you ask the waitress for sauce if you want it', 'this is how you ask for the bill' etc? Just a thought but we DO kind of expect kids to just know some of this stuff ever if we haven't actually consciously 'taught' it to them??