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Dating Thread 128: the one without a catchy title

(1000 Posts)
RunsforCake14 Sun 11-Feb-18 11:15:45

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread

RunsforCake14 Sun 11-Feb-18 11:16:34

I tried to post in the last thread but it was full. So I thought I'd make a new one

CoverMeLads Sun 11-Feb-18 11:20:40

Thanks, Runs smile

Good luck today/tonight for those with dates and Godspeed getting one to everyone else grin

RunsforCake14 Sun 11-Feb-18 11:25:31

What I was going to say in the last thread..TomHardy a year ago I would've thought all the messages were lovely. But thanks to bad experiences and the lovely people here I'm now older and wiser and a lot more cynical. If something makes me go hmm then I'm happy to step away.

Lovemusic33 Sun 11-Feb-18 11:26:26

Marking my place, waiting for my iron who is running late.

esk1mo Sun 11-Feb-18 11:41:08

oh love i hope he gets a move on

i have my date at 3 with mr.foreign. i always get nervous before dates incase i hate how they dress! shallow i know, i dont even know where the fear comes from. ive only ever seen him in gym clothes & he looks nice, but you never know!

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname Sun 11-Feb-18 11:46:04

www.eharmony.co.uk/?aid=81902&cid=53999&utm_source=affiliate&utm_medium=81902&utm_campaign=LynkU

Free trial at E Harmony currently

dancemom Sun 11-Feb-18 11:48:28

New thread already!

Still seeing the current iron, Mr PT.
Not seeing anyone else and neither is he but trying to keep it casual. Really enjoying his company though!

TomHardysBitontheside Sun 11-Feb-18 12:01:41

runs whilst it’s clesrly not been easy for you (or any of us by some of the things I read on here), I’m pleased you have become more cynical and are able to walk away. I’m still in the “learning” stage, but with each experience I definitely get tougher.

anitt Sun 11-Feb-18 12:02:18

esk - am with you on that! Meeting an iron tonight and while he seems ok looking and chat has been decent, all his photos are making me judge his sense of style and well...I'm shallow! I totally admit it. I want someone who dresses well. Not necessarily dressing up (because I'm also a jeans and tshirt person), but nothing with holes or that looks like its 20 years old please...

The last date I went on, as soon as I spotted him, in my head I just went 'Nope! That is not an ok outfit to wear on a first date', and then I immediately move him into 'maybe friends' territory.

VetOnCall Sun 11-Feb-18 12:22:22

Placemarking on the shiny new thread...

Love hope he's turned up!

ignoring sounds like it all went rather well
grin

last, esk1mo and anitt good luck for your dates later. Busy day today!

A couple of new people posted on the last thread just before it filled up so hi to you too, Techgirl and Peter.

esk1mo Sun 11-Feb-18 12:26:20

anitt thank god im not the only one then! for me its the little details, so weird but like the way his jeans sit, what shoes etc. little faux pas i guess.

im weird but i hate the shirts, jeans and brogues combo. i have never had a boyfriend who dressed like that. my last date (mr lovebomber) turned up to our first date in that outfit and i chose to see him again anyway

Techgirldating2018 Sun 11-Feb-18 13:25:48

I hate sundays... too much time to think about irons..

ignoringthechoc Sun 11-Feb-18 13:53:28

Useless thanks for the link, but it doesn't let you see photo's unless you upgrade.
Takes a while to fill in so maybe will take a chance and message blind if it comes up with a match which sounds good, bit risky though seeing as I'm a fussy beggar anyway!
I am aware that I'm a few dates in with someone who seems nice and I may have a bit of the sweetshop mentality people have discussed men having with online dating, but keeping options open until I know if this is going anywhere, been ghosted before and a bit more cynical now!

ignoringthechoc Sun 11-Feb-18 13:56:02

Techgirl I have 2 dogs imploring me to take them out in the snow if you would care to do the honours, might distract you!
I really don't want to go out in cold (but will because they are lovely!)

Rubypanda Sun 11-Feb-18 14:24:19

Hello. I am an avid reader of thus thread and share in all your ups and downs.

I just need to share something that happened to me because I am absolutely mortified and can't share it with anyone IRL.

Met a guy on Tinder a month ago. Lots of dates but nothing close to sex. It was on the cards last night but he couldn't go through with it. Got started on the sofa, moved to his bedroom and got down to it. I was throwing myself into it with my usual abandon but he clearly wasn't into it. He basically threw me off and said we can cuddle now. So we did, then it was clear he wanted me to go so I left.

Got a text this morning saying he couldn't go further because he was put off by the way I smell! I am absolutely mortified. He didn't even go down there so God knows what he'd be like if he did. He said it was BO. But I'd showered etc before, as always, had clean clothes on, clean teeth - I just can't see what it could be.

Spoke this morning and he said he had to be honest. He sees us as still trying for a future but tbh I am just so embarrassed I can't think straight. I don't know what I can do? No one has ever said that before. How on earth can we be compatible if he can't go near me because he doesn't like how I smell?

I don't know what any of you can say but I just had to tell someone.

Techgirldating2018 Sun 11-Feb-18 14:29:35

ignoring thanks for the offer, it’s currently hailing here, after sunshine.
I’ve had one date from Match, Mr hospital who said he looked better in real life than his photos... he looked ok so I thought why not? He turned up and I’m not sure who had told him that but...lovely to chat to but no, just no.

anitt Sun 11-Feb-18 14:38:21

Oh yikes Ruby, that is a tough one! I personally would end it at that point. There is some science behind the fact that scent is one of the things that unconsciously attracts us to certain people (yay pheromones), so if your body chemistry isnt working for him..thats tough.

Some people are just sensitive to certain types of smells..or maybe he's used to people who douse themselves in perfume. Who knows, but I would write this one off and move on unfortunately.

anitt Sun 11-Feb-18 14:41:10

esk1mo Hah, I love a shirt/(nice)jeans/brogues combo (although that depends somewhat on the brogues - I would also be happy with a nice pair of sneakers)

Thisisnotwhatiwant Sun 11-Feb-18 14:57:19

rubypanda something doesn’t sound quite right to me. If someone smelt that bad I wouldn’t want to kiss them or be cuddled up to them either. It sounds to me like he may have issues that are nothing to do with you (or what you smell like). Just my opinion.

Rubypanda Sun 11-Feb-18 15:05:59

this I was thinking hoping the same tbh. Last night I assumed it was a man-thing - we'd been drinking/first time nerves/said he'd not been with anyone for ages. It just didn't occur to me it was my smell.

But he did say he'd been worrying about how to tell me all night and this morning when he walked his dog, he said he hoped we could get past it. He sounded pretty genuine.

Unsure what the best case scenario is - I don't smell but that means he's been quite manipulative or I do smell and he's honest. Wow, what great options to consider...😕

lastnicknamefree Sun 11-Feb-18 15:08:40

ruby I agree with above, to me it sounds like he has erection issues and tried to fob it off onto you! If you’ve dated lots, had kisses and cuddles then any problem with your smell would have led him to not feel attracted to you, let alone want sex. Just my opinion.
Don’t feel bad, I understand you are mortified right now but honestly you’ve done nothing wrong if you’d showered and brushed teeth etc!

Thisisnotwhatiwant Sun 11-Feb-18 15:18:41

ruby. Sounds more like he spent time walking the dog trying to come up with an excuse. If you are really concerned speak to a close friend about your personal hygiene, but I really don’t think this is your problem. Your potential relationship with him may be a different issue!

Rubypanda Sun 11-Feb-18 15:23:50

Oh, I really hope you are all right, you've really got me thinking. It was fine when we were on the sofa, so you'd think he's have noticed something then. It was only when we were actually in bed it all got a bit fraught.

God, I'm seeing him in a few hours, don't really know what to say.

userxx Sun 11-Feb-18 15:41:59

Ruby - why are you seeing him again? I really wouldn't bother.

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