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No longer attracted to my husband after he lost all his money

(288 Posts)

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upsetmner Tue 17-Oct-17 20:01:04

I’ve name changed for this but am a regular MNer. I’m prepared to get flamed for this and don’t really know what I’m asking for, maybe if anyone has been in a similar situation?

I’ve always been attracted to wealthy older men. I didn’t grow up with a dad and my mother is a complete narcissist who doesn’t know how to love or show affection. My counsellor says I’m a classic “dependant” type, I seek out a father figures and someone who can take care of me.

I’ll cut a long story short. My husband is 16 years older than me. When we first met it was happy days, lots of money, he was wealthy and owned his own company/powerful and he let me quit my job and be a lady of leisure. In my eyes he was the sexiest man on earth and I was the luckiest woman to have him!

Then after about a year things turned sour in his business and for the last 2.5 years he has been throwing good money after bad and invested in other failed business ventures along the way.

We’ve lost millions!

To get by we have sold our house, our cars, our artwork, just to keep us afloat. I stuck by him, I didn’t want to be that girl who leaves when things get tough because I do love him and for a long time I believed he was making the right decisions for his business. Plus he told me not to worry and things are JUST ABOUT to pay off. None of it has paid off. Nothing has “come good”. It’s just gone from bad to worse.

Now we are claiming housing benefit for our rented house that we are in massive arrears for, council tax reduction, and JSA. We’re now also on the waiting list for a council house as once our landlord decides to evict us for unpaid arrears we will literally be homeless as can not afford a new place to rent. I can’t work as I’m 33 weeks pregnant. It’s the end of the road and he has to get a job.

I’m just so un-attracted to him. He’s the opposite of what I wanted, or what I thought I had. I never thought I’d be on benefits thinking about how I’m going to afford a buggy or all the other things my baby will need.

I’m also bitter and angry that his ex wife got a gigantic payoff in their divorce 10 years ago when he was still minted. I’m jealous of her. My husband has still been paying her an eye watering sum of maintenance and child support for his child with her up until recently when we really could no longer afford to and ran out of options and things in our house to sell.

Someone please talk some sense in to me!

WitchesHatRim Tue 17-Oct-17 20:02:21


You sound delightful.

MadMags Tue 17-Oct-17 20:03:30

Yeah, ok.

Justoneme Tue 17-Oct-17 20:05:59

Gosh .... I am speechless 😶

EggysMom Tue 17-Oct-17 20:06:01

I’m also bitter and angry that his ex wife got a gigantic payoff in their divorce 10 years ago when he was still minted.

Don't worry. He'll leave you when he finally works out that you are the jinx that made him poor.

midnightmisssuki Tue 17-Oct-17 20:06:42

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

dontbesillyhenry Tue 17-Oct-17 20:06:42

Get a job, some self respect and an almighty grip. Also get to bed, it's school in the morning.

ScreamitDreamit Tue 17-Oct-17 20:07:23

you sound truly awful!

I hate to say it but maybe whats happened serves you right! Maybe look for the riches in a persons heart rather than in their wallet and you may not come unstuck in the same way. Sorry you're facing tough times what with a baby coming etc etc. But to decide you don't love someone because you can't be a lazy princess and sponge off them is terrible!

Get some self worth. and maybe, consider how TOGETHER you're going to get through this!

gamerchick Tue 17-Oct-17 20:08:07

I dunno I’m not going to flame you. At first I rolled my eyes but as I read on I would be damned annoyed as well losing everything due to his bad choices and with that comes a loss of interest. It’s a flew too close to the sun situation isn’t it?

He needs to get a job and in time so will you maybe.

upsetmner Tue 17-Oct-17 20:08:10


Did you even read the whole thing? And not just the title?

Was looking for a little more support to be honest.

But I said I’m happy to be told that I just need some sense talked in to me! I’m pregnant and hormonal and have no money to buy my baby anything which is incredibly upsetting. Just having a little bit of a tough time.

FenellaMaxwellsPony Tue 17-Oct-17 20:09:56

Was this baby conceived on a trip to Paris on a private jet and was supposed to be born at the Portland, by any chance...? hmm

PickAChew Tue 17-Oct-17 20:09:57

Boo fucking hoo.

What's on page 39 of take a break, this week.

MusicToMyEars800 Tue 17-Oct-17 20:10:05

^ All of the above posts ^

upsetmner Tue 17-Oct-17 20:10:06

@EggysMom I told him I jinxed him and he should leave me some time ago

Bluntness100 Tue 17-Oct-17 20:10:11

You’re baby hardly warrants a mention, it’s all about you and his lack of money.

WitchesHatRim Tue 17-Oct-17 20:10:15

Was looking for a little more support to be honest.

Support for what exactly? The fact your gold digging ways have to end?

usernameinfinito Tue 17-Oct-17 20:10:37

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NeedHelp1002 Tue 17-Oct-17 20:13:40

Wrong board daily fail think this was for AIBU

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay Tue 17-Oct-17 20:13:48

If this is actually for real.....

What happened to all your savings, pensions etc. He can't have invested all of that? What kind of idiot would confused

GeorgeTheHamster Tue 17-Oct-17 20:14:00

Golly. And what a provocative title

upsetmner Tue 17-Oct-17 20:14:35

Writing fiction course? This is real life. We’ve literally lost everything. It’s not a storyline sad

PovertyPain Tue 17-Oct-17 20:14:52

It's strange that someone who made millions would make a multitude of bad decisions. I wonder if the wife got a 'big payout', because she was the brains behind his business. He really lucked out with his second choice, didn't he? Poor man.

AnyFucker Tue 17-Oct-17 20:15:11

Are your diamond shoes too tight, love ?

TroysMammy Tue 17-Oct-17 20:17:07

For richer, for poorer....

NotTheDuchessOfCambridge Tue 17-Oct-17 20:17:42

smile this thread is so refreshingly honest, it gave me a big smile! If his money was all you wanted then no wonder you’re not attracted OP, LTB and move on to the next one. Sadly Hugh Hefner is out but there’s a Hollywood director that may be opening up???

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