Am I too old, is this a mid life crisis?

(236 Posts)
Cassavaflower Sun 22-Dec-19 09:29:40

Am I being unreasonable to have a crush on a guy 16 years my junior?
I feel like I'm going crazy. I work from home and never interact with anyone in the office but a couple of weeks ago I was asked to meet one of the managers. I was expecting an older guy judging by his emails. I wasn't expecting him to be mesmerising. I lost it, getting tongue tied, blushing. I mean, just awful. He's funny and clever and 16 years younger than me. He's single. We are meeting up tomorrow as he wants to see me before I turn 50. I've been literally dreaming about him.
I'm having a midlife crisis aren't I?
Should I just accept I'm being silly and enjoy the coffee and think no more of it? I've been single for years and years.
God, I have it bad. Oh and to avoid drip feeding he tells me I'm awesome all the time but that doesn't mean anything right?

OP’s posts: |
Rainallnight Sun 22-Dec-19 09:31:54

Gosh, how interesting. I think the more complicated thing is that he’s your manager, rather than his age, though.

AnyFucker Sun 22-Dec-19 09:34:45

He "wants to see you before you turn 50" ? Why ?

HowlsMovingBungalow Sun 22-Dec-19 09:36:04


AdriannaP Sun 22-Dec-19 09:37:30

Agree - the age is not the issue here but your working relationship. Is he your direct manager?
I would thread carefully.

CoffeeChocolateWine Sun 22-Dec-19 09:37:46

Why does he want to see you before you turn 50? Strikes me as an odd thing to say...

Cassavaflower Sun 22-Dec-19 09:38:01

I've met up with him twice for work. We enjoy each other's company and he just said he wanted to see me before I turn 50.

OP’s posts: |


AnyFucker Sun 22-Dec-19 09:38:55

That's a strange thing to request.

HowlsMovingBungalow Sun 22-Dec-19 09:39:41

Yeah he wants to tell his mates he screwed a woman in her 40's.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery Sun 22-Dec-19 09:40:58

We enjoy each other's company and he just said he wanted to see me before I turn 50

That's a very odd thing to say.

Wintersnowdrop Sun 22-Dec-19 09:41:35

I don’t get the he wants to see you before you turn fifty? Is that some sort of line? Sounds like a complete disaster waiting to happen.

daisypond Sun 22-Dec-19 09:42:53

Yes, that “before I turn 50” comment is very odd.

DickDewy Sun 22-Dec-19 09:46:02

The ‘before you turn 50’ line is smarmy and weird.

And of course he is FAR too young for you. It’s pretty unlikely that a 34 year old would find a 50 year old attractive. Maybe he sees you as a motherly figure?

Shylo Sun 22-Dec-19 09:46:11

I’m 5 years into a similar relationship ..... but there is no manager/subordinate relationship which is the difference

The ‘before you’re 50’ comment is a bit odd though, what was the context?

Bluntness100 Sun 22-Dec-19 09:47:01

What happens when you turn fifty in his head?

MrsElijahMikaelson1 Sun 22-Dec-19 09:49:07

Go with an open mine but have your wanker radar on high alert

SilverySurfer Sun 22-Dec-19 09:50:01

Perhaps he has a thing about not having sex with a 50 year old?

Cassavaflower Sun 22-Dec-19 09:51:40

Well the turn 50 comment was in the context of 'I won't get a chance to see you before the holidays and your big 5-0 birthday.'
We are messaging a lot. Oh dear. Yes I see how bad it looks but there's no screwing possible as we meet up in city centre cafes.
Lots going on in my head though.

OP’s posts: |
iklboodolphrednosedreindeer Sun 22-Dec-19 09:51:53

Wants to see you before you're 50?

Does he think your foof seals up and you turn into Thora Hird overnight. Weird thing to say.

onalongsabbatical Sun 22-Dec-19 10:06:38

Does he think your foof seals up and you turn into Thora Hird overnight. Bloody made me laugh! Really happens though. I'm well into my 'Thora Hird' years! grin

MT2017 Sun 22-Dec-19 10:20:31

Are you single?

NurseButtercup Sun 22-Dec-19 10:36:10

Stop worrying about the age gap and enjoy yourself. I bet Joan Collins, Cher, Tina Turner and Madonna would tell you not to worry about what other people think!

And if it is a mid-life crisis so what?

At least you'll create some great memories for when you're in the nursing home.

Missillusioned Sun 22-Dec-19 10:39:59

It's perfectly possible for a man in his 30s to find a 49 yr old woman attractive.
What is less likely is that a relationship will result from the encounter. Not impossible - it does happen, but tread carefully.

lljkk Sun 22-Dec-19 10:50:29

I have a distant cousin married to a woman 18 yrs his senior. I think they wed when he was in his late 20s. They had a baby via surrogate recently. Been together about 20 yrs, so works for them.

lljkk Sun 22-Dec-19 10:52:52

... if you want semi-creepy. My mother had a fling with one of my brother's childhood friends. He insists that he fancied her from when he was a child, but they didn't get together until he was 35 & she was 52 (and she had no idea before then how he felt). Too different for other reasons to become a sustainable relationship, actually, but they had fun. She left him a nice art piece in her will & he remains a family friend.

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