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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I too old, is this a mid life crisis?

235 replies

Cassavaflower · 22/12/2019 09:29

Am I being unreasonable to have a crush on a guy 16 years my junior?
I feel like I'm going crazy. I work from home and never interact with anyone in the office but a couple of weeks ago I was asked to meet one of the managers. I was expecting an older guy judging by his emails. I wasn't expecting him to be mesmerising. I lost it, getting tongue tied, blushing. I mean, just awful. He's funny and clever and 16 years younger than me. He's single. We are meeting up tomorrow as he wants to see me before I turn 50. I've been literally dreaming about him.
I'm having a midlife crisis aren't I?
Should I just accept I'm being silly and enjoy the coffee and think no more of it? I've been single for years and years.
God, I have it bad. Oh and to avoid drip feeding he tells me I'm awesome all the time but that doesn't mean anything right?

OP posts:
FloFlower · 30/07/2021 15:30

@Cassavaflower

Friday is going to be fuckfest I'm afraid.
This made me laugh so much. I’m so happy for you OP!
CambsAlways · 30/07/2021 15:49

If you are both single you are free to do whatever, sounds like you have a big crush on him, 😜 let us know how you get on

CambsAlways · 30/07/2021 15:52

Just saw more of your posts, good on ya, hope you be very happy

foxandbee · 30/07/2021 15:52

Aw, I do love a happy ending!

isitsummertimeyet · 30/07/2021 15:54

@HowlsMovingBungalow

Yeah he wants to tell his mates he screwed a woman in her 40's. Hmm
and the OP can tell her friends shes banged her Boss 16 years her junior..

wheres the issue?

bringincrazyback · 30/07/2021 15:56

@DickDewy

The ‘before you turn 50’ line is smarmy and weird.

And of course he is FAR too young for you. It’s pretty unlikely that a 34 year old would find a 50 year old attractive. Maybe he sees you as a motherly figure?

How old are you @DickDewy? Because I'm in my 50s and I can tell you categorically you're wrong.
Polkadots2021 · 30/07/2021 16:01

@HowlsMovingBungalow

Yeah he wants to tell his mates he screwed a woman in her 40's. Hmm
Or he's a nice guy and wants to pass on a birthday gift to her?
foxandbee · 30/07/2021 16:01

Read OP's updates. They have been together for over a year!

Thehop · 30/07/2021 16:02

Well this is a bit ace

LanisHouseLot · 30/07/2021 16:07

What a great thread. So glad you got a lovely happy ending!

DishingOutDone · 30/07/2021 16:07

I love this update! Bless you both that’s wonderful. Also slightly jealous I had a similar situation but I was married so nothing happened. I’m so glad you went for it!! Be prepared for lots of shitty posts by people who haven’t rtft!

ViciousJackdaw · 30/07/2021 16:09

Or he's a nice guy and wants to pass on a birthday gift to her?

Oh, he gave her a great big birthday present alright!

UniversalAunt · 30/07/2021 16:10

I am so cheered up by your update!

Unicorn34 · 30/07/2021 16:12

@DickDewy

The ‘before you turn 50’ line is smarmy and weird.

And of course he is FAR too young for you. It’s pretty unlikely that a 34 year old would find a 50 year old attractive. Maybe he sees you as a motherly figure?

Sorry but my mum is 18 years older than her husband - they have been together for 30+ years and are blissfully happy! Just wanted to point out that age isn't always a "thing".
AgathaX · 30/07/2021 16:12

Wow, what a lovely update. Are you living together now, as you're stepmum?

Chikapu · 30/07/2021 16:16

My husband is 16 years younger than me. We've been together 16 years now and he still finds me very attractive.
I don't think age has anything to do with anything as long as everyone is above the age of consent and no one is being controlled or coerced.

Unicorn34 · 30/07/2021 16:20

@Cassavaflower

Hello! How strange, I was thinking to update everyone and saw your message just now. We are together, I'm stepmum to his lovely little boys, his parents are wonderful. My brother gets on so well with him too which is great. And I'm more in love than ever! A massive thank you to Mumsnet and everyone who posted encouragement. I am so glad I took the plunge!
This is soooo lovely and made me smile! Good luck in your future together (sounds like it will be a long and happy one). I posted before that my mum is 18 years older than her husband - they have been together/married for 30+ years and are blissfully happy. I wish that for you too x
bringincrazyback · 30/07/2021 16:25

I totally missed that this was a zombie Blush So glad it all worked out for you though, OP! Smile

IHateCoronavirus · 30/07/2021 16:47

Such a happy thread. Thanks for the update op SmileFlowers

peachgreen · 30/07/2021 16:50

I flippin' love this thread.

2020onandon · 30/07/2021 16:50

I'm so pleased to read this. Lovely happy ending.

ButYouJustPointedToAIIOfMe · 30/07/2021 17:07

49/2+7= 31.5

49-16= 33

not my choice personally but suppose you could have a fling

Harry Styles is 27 to Olivia Wilde's 37. He says an age difference is fine - his only line is not being with someone older than his Mum.
How old is this guy's Mum?

ButYouJustPointedToAIIOfMe · 30/07/2021 17:09

Shit, am a year out of date. Not a fling then. Good for you Wine

2catsandhappy · 30/07/2021 17:11

Aw Fab! xx

ButYouJustPointedToAIIOfMe · 30/07/2021 17:12

Zombie Updated The OP wasn't having a mid-life crisis and got the guy. Star