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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I too old, is this a mid life crisis?

235 replies

Cassavaflower · 22/12/2019 09:29

Am I being unreasonable to have a crush on a guy 16 years my junior?
I feel like I'm going crazy. I work from home and never interact with anyone in the office but a couple of weeks ago I was asked to meet one of the managers. I was expecting an older guy judging by his emails. I wasn't expecting him to be mesmerising. I lost it, getting tongue tied, blushing. I mean, just awful. He's funny and clever and 16 years younger than me. He's single. We are meeting up tomorrow as he wants to see me before I turn 50. I've been literally dreaming about him.
I'm having a midlife crisis aren't I?
Should I just accept I'm being silly and enjoy the coffee and think no more of it? I've been single for years and years.
God, I have it bad. Oh and to avoid drip feeding he tells me I'm awesome all the time but that doesn't mean anything right?

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 23/12/2019 07:22

Good luck!

Original poster
Cassavaflower · 23/12/2019 16:12

We both feel the same way about each other. I am literally walking on air. Never felt like this before. So so unbelievably happy. Thank you to everyone who said to go for it. Happy Christmas

OP posts:
AutumnRose1 · 23/12/2019 16:43

Ooh
Are you officially dating now?

TigerOnATrain · 23/12/2019 16:51
Biscuit
butterandbread · 23/12/2019 16:55

Oh gosh, what a lovely update, OP! I’m a nosey so and so who loves a good romance so if you’d like to share any details of the date, I’m all ears! 😂

Original poster
Cassavaflower · 23/12/2019 17:07

Why has tiger given me a biscuit???
It was on the pretext of work but not really and we spent two and a half hours chatting and then I blurted out that I thought he was awesome and I wanted to see him again.
And he said he thought I was awesome and and can we meet on Friday.
I had a Christmas lunch to go to. He kept texting me all afternoon saying he thinks I'm wonderful.
I honestly feel slightly overwhelmed. This has never happened to me.
I feel so happy I could vomit. Is that what being lovesick means???

OP posts:
innuendobingo · 23/12/2019 17:12
Xmas Wink
aibutohavethisusername · 23/12/2019 17:37

Aww how lovely 😊

Afternooninthepark · 23/12/2019 17:54

I don’t know why some people on here seem to think 50 is ancient, there are hundreds of fab, youthful 50 year olds out there. Hope it works out well for you op, have fun.

Guineapigbridge · 23/12/2019 17:58

YOLO

WorldEndingFire · 23/12/2019 18:40

Good for you. Those saying it's impossible are BU. It's unusual, yes, and perhaps deserves some caution, but I have a friend with a similar age gap and they have been happily married a few years now. Have fun.

icanclearabuffet · 23/12/2019 18:45

This is so lovely 😊
I bet he's feeling all giddy too Op!
You'll find a way through the work complications if it's meant to be😊

Butchyrestingface · 23/12/2019 18:45

Why has tiger given me a biscuit???

She’s dead inside. Crown Biscuit

WWlOOlWW · 23/12/2019 18:54

Go for it. I had a couple of flings with men in their early 30's when I was in my early 40's. Was great fun and I never felt the age gap.

Talkingmouse · 23/12/2019 19:05

Excellent!
The age gap is only an issue if you make it so. Forget that and enjoy.
If you can navigate any work implications..then an awesome early 2020 awaits.

DiaryofWimpyMumm · 23/12/2019 19:13

Guys love older women. There's men on the dating site I was on who lie about their age and say they are older. Good luck op!

GottaLoveAnOtter · 23/12/2019 19:17

Go for it! My second husband is 17 years younger than me, he's 33 and I'm 50 and we've been together 9 years and have a four year old son 😁 Age is just a number.. And if it doesn't work out, you'll have had a good time on the way!

Craftycorvid · 23/12/2019 19:20

I’ll say it: the lucky man to attract a sexy, smart, mature woman. Enjoy, OP (I’m dead jealous Crown Envy).

andthentherewasme · 23/12/2019 19:27

Aw, this is sweet. Any updates? Looking for a little vicarious fun here...

MimiCaeger · 23/12/2019 19:49

Adorable 😍

Original poster
Cassavaflower · 23/12/2019 19:54

Oh yes I'm happy to provide updates Grin He said he was annoyed he didn't kiss me as we have to wait til Friday to see each other now and every minute is torture.
As I'm freelance he didn't think work was an issue at all. He said he knew in that first meeting that he liked me. Meanwhile I just thought he was a lot younger. It's so so so true what people say about it happening when you least expect it. I went to that first meeting with greasy hair!!!
The second time we met I knew I wanted to kiss him. Today I know I want to be with him all the time. He sent me a text half an hour after we left each other saying he was missing me. Sorry I'm gushing. Now I know what the books and films and songs are on about.

OP posts:
Fr0g · 23/12/2019 20:02

works for the Macrons - I think they have a 25 yr gap

andthentherewasme · 23/12/2019 20:20

Very nice. Don't forget to update on Friday!

Original poster
Cassavaflower · 23/12/2019 20:24

Friday is going to be fuckfest I'm afraid.

OP posts:
Tighnabruaich · 23/12/2019 20:52

Have a great time, and to hell with what others think! I've had relationships where the guy was younger, ultimately there was no future but boy, did we have fun! Laughter, no baggage, adoration from him - and yes I was besotted!
It can work though, my friend's husband is 19 years younger than her and they've been married nearly 20 years now.
i do miss that lovely giddy, head-over-heels feeling - I shall live vicariously through your updates.