Am I too old, is this a mid life crisis?

[Cassavaflower]

Am I being unreasonable to have a crush on a guy 16 years my junior?
I feel like I'm going crazy. I work from home and never interact with anyone in the office but a couple of weeks ago I was asked to meet one of the managers. I was expecting an older guy judging by his emails. I wasn't expecting him to be mesmerising. I lost it, getting tongue tied, blushing. I mean, just awful. He's funny and clever and 16 years younger than me. He's single. We are meeting up tomorrow as he wants to see me before I turn 50. I've been literally dreaming about him.
I'm having a midlife crisis aren't I?
Should I just accept I'm being silly and enjoy the coffee and think no more of it? I've been single for years and years.
God, I have it bad. Oh and to avoid drip feeding he tells me I'm awesome all the time but that doesn't mean anything right?

[PlasticPatty]

You've got a crush. It's nice. Enjoy it.
It will pass. But that's fine, isn't it?

[BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail]

Oh people are so suspicious. You’re both single, at worst it’s a harmless crush/flirt. At best...well, you’ll find out won’t you!

Enjoy your coffee

[Cuddling57]

I say go for it! You only live once.
Just see it as a bit of fun and guard yourself against being hurt.

[MsMellivora]

On the nice side there are age gap relationships that work and genuine love and respect are found. My mate is 15 yeas older than her DH but they met when she was in her mid thirties.

However he is your manager, that complicates it a lot.

Plus the bang an older woman fantasy because that’s how some men would describe it. I have an insight in to this.

I game and have for years and play multiplayer games, of the hundreds of people I have gamed with almost all are male. Many women game but due to harassment they don’t go in to game chat freely. I can hold my own and give it back :) they forget a woman is there or they assume I’m a male that hasn’t had my balls drop. I can tell you right now it’s a big thing currently to sleep with older women. I found when someone asked my age and I used to say not dateable I am old enough to be your Mother it made them more eager. Now I just say none of your business.

[Kittykat93]

Will he also want to see you after you turn 50???what a strange comment to make.

[Lifeisabeach09]

Turn your longterm relationship expectations off and go have a fun-filled fling. I would!!!

[CecilyP]

^You've got a crush. It's nice. Enjoy it.
It will pass.^

And then what? If he is genuinely interested, OP, I would go for it! Totally agree with Cuddling57. No way are you too old. Think you will regret it in 10 years time if you don't go for it.

[Ginger1982]

Are you both single?

[zx2019]

I would say proceed with extreme caution. I once had a bit of a flirtation going with a colleague (similar ages to you, similar age gap). Whilst I thought we might be moving towards dating, he dropped the flirtation as soon as someone his own age took his fancy. My ego took a huge blow and seeing him at work regularly didn't help. Luckily, I also saw how he behaved towards his new GF and eventually realised that I'd had a lucky escape.

[Fiveletters]

Oh I’d say go and have a little flirt and see what happens x

[Cassavaflower]

I know that drip feeding is a heinous crime here but I need to tell you that the gaming thing has struck a chord. Genius. This is why I love Mumsnet.
Also it's an extra complex situation as I'm an Asian single mum with all that cultural baggage and possibly why I'm acting naively.
He's just messaged to ask if we are on for tomorrow!!!!

[AnyFucker]

Arf @ Thora Hird

[FruitcakeOfHate]

Yes, you're too old for him. I'd say the same if you were a man. It's tragic, desperate, spoony behaviour. I'm almost 50 myself.

[HopeItComesWithBatteries]

In the context you’ve given OP, he may well mean that he wants to see you before your birthday to give you a card or a gift or buy you a drink or something. I’m not necessarily reading it as creepy.

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

Proceed, but with caution.

[HTruffle]

Sounds to me like he’s bought you a present and wishes to give it to you before you turn 50.

[Tinytimoteo]

I think its just friendly

[andyjusthangingaround]

@Cassavaflower
Enjoy the moment!
What’s the worst that can happen? Prepare for that while you are going with the flow

[Mabelface]

Do it. Have a wonderful fling and if it turns into something more, great. If it doesn't, you'll have had fun. Just keep your eyes wide open. 4 years ago and the ripe old age of 45, I had fun with a 31 year old. Not long after that ended, a couple of nights with a 27 year old. It was fun and I don't care if others think it's icky or sad.

[madcatladyforever]

if it wasn't work it would be safe to have a fling - because a fling is all this type of age difference is ever going to be - however, it is work and I'd say don't even go there no matter what. Stay professional.

[Apolloanddaphne]

I think he wants to see you to wish you happy birthday and maybe give you a gift. Go for it. Life is too short for regrets.

[ThinkPink71]

Who cares!!! If you are Single & he is....go with the flow :D you only live once & everyone deserves to smile

[FestiveFavourites]

It's not a mid-life crisis, you are not too old.
Unless you are planning a lifetime of monogamy and a couple of babies, in which case you are too old (for the babies).

Go for it!!!

[Everytimeiseeher]

Two consenting adults who are attracted to one another. What’s the problem? The work relationship is the only issue I can see here.
I am a older woman with a younger man 17 year age gap. We have been together almost 5 years. He is Asian too and also has that baggage but everyone has accepted us as a loving happy couple that we are.
I wasnt expecting a long term relationship either as my confidence was rock bottom. He helped me get over that.
I’d say go for it. Good luck.

[Cassavaflower]

Thank you everyone for responding. I will update after the meeting and let you know if there were any sparks