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Accepting a caution while training to be a nurse

(370 Posts)
burntoutteacher Tue 14-May-13 21:42:05

This is a really brief synopsis, hope you guys can help.

My friend is training to be a nurse. Her mentally abusive ex has been harassing her via the authorities since they split. In 18 months he has taken her to court for access (confusedbut doesn't show up ), and reported her to SS and she had to be interviewed twice. He won't work officially but does have jobs on the quiet, doesn't pay towards the children either.

Foolishly, she approached him at his place of work 6 months ago and argued with him over money. He started pushing her out of the shop and she lashed out and hit him across the chest. He called the police and wants her prosecuted. She has begged him not to, given the effect it will have on her career and the children, but he just laughed.

Police want to caution her instead but my understanding is that it will remain on her file for 100 years and will be just as damaging for her career. She has to sign the caution tomorrow and is devastated.

Is there anything at all she can do? Police have apparently tried to reason with him but he said he feels victimised ( don't get me started on that) and so she is to be cautioned.

She feels the career she tried so hard for is about to be shattered and he will then find new ways of beating her down. Please help:/

SauvignonBlanche Tue 14-May-13 21:44:44

The caution will show up on every CRB check, they wouldn't be recruited or any job without an additional interview about the caution.

HollyBerryBush Tue 14-May-13 21:45:55

He started pushing her out of the shop and she lashed out and hit him across the chest. He called the police and wants her prosecuted.

So why didn't she counter prosecute, seeing as he struck first?

crazynanna Tue 14-May-13 21:46:36

A police record does not necessarily mean a person never works again. I believe each case is assessed individually on the details/circs. As long as your friend is completely honest on CRB forms, and admits said caution, most HR depts will have a meeting to discuss the situation behind the caution. And if she has a previously clean record, I think most jobs would be fair in their decision making.

But I say again..she must declare it...not doing so and it popping up means immediate turn-down for the job.

JazzTheDog Tue 14-May-13 21:46:49

I think (but i'm not 100% sure) that she wouldn't even be able to sign the annual declaration of good character during training if she receives a caution, nor register with the NMC at the end of the training.

Twogoodreasons Tue 14-May-13 21:47:43

She doesn't have to accept the caution. She could call their bluff and see if they are willing to take it to court. My guess is CPS would view it as one person's word against another and or self defence (assuming there are no witnesses/ CCTV showing her as the aggressor.

It's a bit of a gamble, but a small one in my view.

HollyBerryBush Tue 14-May-13 21:49:57

I'd take the court risk myself

yaimee Tue 14-May-13 21:50:01

What an absolute bastard.
Sorry, no practical advice but I can't think of an offensive enough word to describe that lowlife.

bevelino Tue 14-May-13 21:50:18

She doesn't have to accept the caution and I doubt the police would prosecute her.

yaimee Tue 14-May-13 21:51:28

Oh yes, that's a good point. If the caution would show up on her crb and so would a prosecution, then it might be worth the risk in court.

TheseFoolishThings Tue 14-May-13 21:53:08

I'd refuse the caution too and see what happens. I'd place a large bet on bugger all. Has she taken legal advice? Surely it would be worth her doing so before signing anything?

scottishmummy Tue 14-May-13 21:53:43

caution will show on all enhanced crb,she need to declare it
I see that she not been cautioned yet,so id get solicitor prior to the caution
has she had legal advice?

WouldBeHarrietVane Tue 14-May-13 21:54:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EntWife Tue 14-May-13 21:55:39

i wouldn't accept the caution and take the risk that the CPS would not be bothered to prosecute. Even if they did she would then have the opportunity of presenting her side in court. Judges are not stupid and will usually see through this kind of victimisation.

Roshbegosh Tue 14-May-13 21:58:20

As a nurse she would be virtually unemployable with a record for assault and she would have to declare it. She must not accept the caution.

TheDetective Tue 14-May-13 21:59:37

Don't accept the caution. Let them take it to court.

SolidGoldBrass Tue 14-May-13 22:01:59

Refuse the caution! Always always refuse to be cautioned (unless you know that you did whatever it was and that it was really wrong) it's rare that the police will actually take it further unless they have very good evidence and think there will be a good chance of conviction. Cautions are a lazy and unethical way of dealing with mior complaints brought by the spiteful. She must have encountered misogynistic coppers for it to be suggested in the first place; decent ones would have told the XP to stop being such a fucking baby and not to waste their time.

Doobiedoobedoobie Tue 14-May-13 22:02:38

Tell her not to accept the caution.

A very good friend was in this situation in her first year of training and took the caution. She is now working as a (very good) nurse but it took a LOT of job interviews and applications to get her first job and at one point she thought it would never happen sad

Having seen her go through that I woud never accept a caution tbh.

HerrenaHarridan Tue 14-May-13 22:02:42

Do not accept caution, chances are it will never reach court unless there is evidence.

Even then she can argue provocation.

I repeat do not accept caution!

TheseFoolishThings Tue 14-May-13 22:02:52

Exactly what SGB said. Where's the OP gone?

VivaLeBeaver Tue 14-May-13 22:04:36

Like others have said she mustn't accept the caution. She may well not even be allowed to complete her training if she does. I've known people kicked off nurse training for similar.

Remotecontrolduck Tue 14-May-13 22:07:10

Definitely, absolutely do NOT accept the caution. Pretty sure it wouldn't stand up in court, or even make it there.

Her prospects of getting a nursing job after a caution for assault are very, very slim indeed.

What an absolute bastard her ex sounds angry

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots Tue 14-May-13 22:07:56

Hey OP. lots of good advice here as cautions don't have to be accepted.
Where have you gone?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Tue 14-May-13 22:10:06

Do not accept a caution for any thing, ever.

Especially not if you want a career in nursing. IT WILL APPEAR ON A CRB.

burntoutteacher Tue 14-May-13 22:11:51

There's CCTV showing her pushing him:/ . She pushed him first as he was coming towards her. Even her solicitor said she would be done at court. Also, if she was prosecuted by the court, the university have said they won't let her continue the course as its a criminal record??

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