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Original poster

Accepting a caution while training to be a nurse

369 replies

burntoutteacher · 14/05/2013 21:42

This is a really brief synopsis, hope you guys can help.

My friend is training to be a nurse. Her mentally abusive ex has been harassing her via the authorities since they split. In 18 months he has taken her to court for access (Confusedbut doesn't show up ), and reported her to SS and she had to be interviewed twice. He won't work officially but does have jobs on the quiet, doesn't pay towards the children either.

Foolishly, she approached him at his place of work 6 months ago and argued with him over money. He started pushing her out of the shop and she lashed out and hit him across the chest. He called the police and wants her prosecuted. She has begged him not to, given the effect it will have on her career and the children, but he just laughed.

Police want to caution her instead but my understanding is that it will remain on her file for 100 years and will be just as damaging for her career. She has to sign the caution tomorrow and is devastated.

Is there anything at all she can do? Police have apparently tried to reason with him but he said he feels victimised ( don't get me started on that) and so she is to be cautioned.

She feels the career she tried so hard for is about to be shattered and he will then find new ways of beating her down. Please help:/

OP posts:
Heebiejeebie · 14/05/2013 22:14

Cross posted. If she's already taken advice from a solicitor, then I don't think she should listen to me!

flummoxedlummox · 14/05/2013 22:15

Agree with others, think about no accepting the caution, maybe seek some advice.

Pedant: It's no longer CRB it's DBA.

www.gov.uk/disclosure-barring-service-check/overview

LineRunner · 14/05/2013 22:16

I wouldn't accept a caution.

I would defend myself in court explaining the context - that's if it even got that far.

Remotecontrolduck · 14/05/2013 22:17

She needs legal advice asap if there's evidence on CCTV

What a nightmare, she needs someone to fight her corner or her whole career is going to be ruined by this utter twat Sad

TWinklyLittleStar · 14/05/2013 22:18

Tbh if there is CCTV, and she was in his place of work (giving him the right to eject her), combined with the fact that the police have to take ALL instances of domestic assault seriously - even if the suspect is female and a trainee nurse - then unless he chooses not to go to court (which seems unlikely if he is a vindictive shit) then frankly she's fucked and is better off taking the caution.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 14/05/2013 22:18

Hmmm, i'd till take my chances in court too - employers don't really differentiate between cautions and convictions IME and at least there is a chance she won't be found guilty.

olgaga · 14/05/2013 22:19

Tell her that on no account should she accept the caution, certainly not before she has taken legal advice. If she is unable to afford legal advice point her in the direction of the Rights of Women website.

They have helpline:

General and Family Law Advice Line: 020 7251 6577
(Open Mondays 11am-1pm, Tuesdays & Wednesdays 2?4pm and 7-9pm, Thursdays 7-9pm, and Fridays 12noon?2pm)

Criminal Law and Sexual Violence legal advice line: 020 7251 8887
(Open Tuesdays 11am-1pm and Thursdays 2-4pm)

Women's Aid run regular local legal advice surgeries. Find out what help is available in your area by using the search facility on the home page.

If this incident took place in a shop then presumably there will be CCTV which may assist in her defence - but of course you can only go by what your friend has told you about what actually happened, and how it will look, so ultimately it's got to be her decision.

However, I think if she refuses to accept a caution, saying that she is confident that it will show her ex being the aggressor and pushing her around, it is more than likely the whole thing will be dropped.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 14/05/2013 22:20

She also needs to stay away from her ex. But she probably knows that now Sad

x2boys · 14/05/2013 22:20

i,m anurse have been for many years i went to a study day a while back for nursing mentors the tutors were telling usof a student who was cautioned in her first year drunk and disorderly, she didnt tell uni when she tried to join the nursing bank a couple of years later it showed up on her CRB she was kicked off the course

scottishmummy · 14/05/2013 22:21

hmm,so there's cctv evidence and her solicitor thinks shed be prosecuted.
doesn't look good.id advise see solicitor ask what happens if he decline caution
would it proceed to prosecution?a caution will likely terminate her training

trashcanjunkie · 14/05/2013 22:21

sorry not got time to read all. Do not accept the caution let the cps decide if they are going to take it further, and tell your friend to seek the advice of a good solicitor. Don't speak to the police without one. sorry for briefness, will check back tomorrow.

IvorHughJarse · 14/05/2013 22:22

Not sure how helpful this is, but I notice your friend is still training. I am the Programme Administrator for Adult Nursing at a Uni and the only advice I can give is that if she does receive a caution she will need to disclose this to the University, immediately. Doing so will not necessarily mean that she is unable to continue the course; withholding that information will mean that.

Oldraver · 14/05/2013 22:22

I would not accept the caution, I would let it go to court if it got that far.

Twogoodreasons · 14/05/2013 22:24

Ah, that changes things somewhat. I think she should listen to the legal advice she has been given.

TheseFoolishThings · 14/05/2013 22:25

I'd still refuse the caution. She's been in an abusive relationship - first off she could approach WA for advice. Get a better lawyer. I think she stands at least a chance and she owes it to herself to explore every possible avenue. Since she's in shit if she accepts the caution she's got nothing to lose by extending the process with a refusal.

Original poster
burntoutteacher · 14/05/2013 22:28

Thanks for the replies everyone, she thinks the CCTV looks bad. He was pushing her out with his body.sort of backing her out ( hands in his pocket) and calling her names ( they were calling each other names to be honest). She said the CCTV does not put her in a good light, but doesn't reflect nearly any of the back story. She is truly in pieces as he set her up beautifully Hmm

OP posts:
olgaga · 14/05/2013 22:28

Yes, that does change things. If they have seen the CCTV and her own solicitor is saying it doesn't look good...

Poor woman, I bet her ex is cock-a-hoop Sad

Leverette · 14/05/2013 22:29

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OldRichandGrateful · 14/05/2013 22:35

Still don't accept the caution. If she does her career is ruined. It will stay on her criminal record for at least 10 years and will show up on every DBS (formerly CRB) check.

If CPS have enough to take her to court, then let them - she has nothing to lose.

Original poster
burntoutteacher · 14/05/2013 22:37

She approached him because he promised to contribute towards their children's school uniforms and so she sent her eldest (teenage) daughter up to collect it. He took her into a back stairwell (out of sight of the CCTV) and pulled out a huge wad of cash, and gave £10 pocket money to her. When his dd asked for the uniform money, he replied ' your mum is getting nothing'. Upon hearing this, my friend confronted him at the shop. Wrong I know, wrong she knows, but he did it to provoke her and she took the bait. She is massively struggling for money and he knew this would make her snap.

Btw, he is working illegally at the shop. Asshole!

OP posts:
OldRichandGrateful · 14/05/2013 22:39

By the way - if she was arrested, she may have had DNA, fingerprints and photo taken? Could this show up on a DBS check?

50shadesofmeh · 14/05/2013 22:43

No no to the caution she will fail disclosure checks and will also need to declare it when registering which can stop her being allowed to register.
I'm a nurse.

Leverette · 14/05/2013 22:43

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Original poster
burntoutteacher · 14/05/2013 22:44

Is a conviction and a caution for common assault the same in terms of employment?

Will my friend find it easier to get a job with a caution than a conviction? That's what the sol and police are saying?

OP posts:
Original poster
burntoutteacher · 14/05/2013 22:47

She has reported it repeatedly that he is working illegally - they have not investigated. Don't think that's her responsibility?!

OP posts:
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