I'd like to get rid of our bath and install a shower cubicle which would free up some much needed storage space in our small family bathroom.

No one in our household has had a bath in years and I feel a shower cubicle would work better for us (me and two adult DC).

The master bedroom already has a small en-suite shower room which DH uses.

But I'm concerned no bath could put people off buying when we sell up in a few years time (5+ years).

Would you be happy buying a house with no bath?

Please can someone advise? My hair has become steadily more tangled and matted to the extent that after I washed it tonight, I can't get my fingers through it at all. I'm just pulling loads out trying to brush it and now I'm panicking a bit.

I suspected it might be a hard water build up so bought some clarifying shampoo and did a cider vinegar rinse, then used my usual redken shampoo and conditioner. I also bought a filter head for the shower. If anything, it's even worse and even more matted.

The water company where I live has recently advised that the water will be even harder due to the minerals at source. My hair is fine, highlighted and dry anyway and has become wavy and frizzy as I've got older, although it appears straight when dry. It won't hold waves or curls, its too fine and flyaway.

Please, has anyone had this and found a solution? I've got some much broken hair from trying to brush it out and the texture is horrible. My hairdresser is no help, unfortunately.

I'm a single mum to a young boy who is autistic and non-verbal. My sister is my closest and only family member, and she has a daughter herself.
I've asked whether my son and I could spend some time with them on Christmas Day, but she's refused and said she'll see us on Boxing Day instead.

For context, my sister's partner absolutely hates me. Last year, I contacted social services after he was physically violent towards her, including strangling her. Ever since, he's held this against me and doesn't want me in their home.

My sister is still with him. She says she's spoken to him extensively about us spending Christmas together, but he refuses. Her response is that he lives there too, so it's his decision as well.
I appreciate that it's his home too and that my sister has offered Boxing Day. I also understand that she may be in a difficult position.

However, I'm incredibly hurt. My son and I don't have a large family network, and the thought of spending Christmas Day just the two of us while my sister, niece and her partner celebrate together makes me feel incredibly unwanted and excluded.

I'm not asking to spend the entire day there. Even a couple of hours together would mean a lot to me.

What hurts particularly is that I feel I'm being punished for raising concerns about my sister's safety. I would never dream of leaving her and my niece without family on Christmas Day if the situation were reversed. I've told her how hurt I am, but nothing has changed.

I genuinely want some objective opinions because I know emotions are involved.

AIBU to expect my sister to make more of an effort to include us, or am I being unfair given that it's also her partner's home and she's offered Boxing Day?

Roll up, roll up. What are the items in your wardrobe you buy again and again?

Winners for me:

• Tu thermal leggings. Deep waist band creates an hour glass waist, even with my thick middle. Magic tbh. And so warm!
• Jo&Joe loafers from TKMaxx. Comfy as hell. Really good quality.
• Phase 8 v-neck cotton Ts. Look perfect even after a million washes. Worth the money.
• Those slouchy Whistles dresses with the big pleat at the front. Love those.

Anyone else?

Has anyone else considered not doing Christmas at all?
I live alone, with dogs, and have no children or partner. Jan 2025 my mum, with whom I usually spent Christmas, died. She was in hospital Christmas Day dying and I went to visit her, but it was obviously very painful. Last Christmas I went to a friend's for a Christmas lunch, which was nice - and extremely kind of her to invite me - but also just felt wrong and not Christmassy at all.
I'm not a Christmas hater, my childhood memories are of the best times. But.now all family are dead, except my siblings who live in different countries, it feels too painful to celebrate. My grief is still very strong, and Christmas in particular brings it all back for all those family members I have lost.
I am thinking of not putting up any decorations and not acknowledging it is Christmas, other than a few gifts for friends. Has anyone else done this?

My other half has got a rotten cold and is right in the thick of the blocked-nose stage.!

I fell down a right rabbit hole reading up on it and found a study [ doi.org/10.1183/09031936.03.00047903 ] saying that nasal blockage can mess with breathing during sleep (causing things like apnoea and drops in oxygen). I know that study was about completely blocked noses, but my anxiety has kicked into overdrive worrying about his breathing tonight!!
To make matters worse, he asked me to pop to the shops for some decongestants earlier. It was just before closing and I could have made it if I'd sprinted out, but I messed about and missed it. Now I'm sitting here feeling like a terrible partner, terrified that his oxygen is going to drop or he'll stop breathing in his sleep!! 😥

He’s definitely going to be mouth-breathing tonight.. but his nose isn't 100% sealed shut.
I read somewhere that your nose has little built-in sensors that basically act like a reminder switch for your brain to keep breathing properly. Since he'll be breathing through his mouth, I’m stressing: does even a tiny trickle of air or a little breeze in the room keep those sensors happy even if he'll be breathing through his mouth so his brain doesn't 'forget' what it's doing?

Hi, I’m wondering if people can give their perspectives on this relationship and whether I’m fighting a losing battle.

I’ve been with my partner 5 years. He has DD10 and DS11. They are with us every weekend and on Wednesday evenings.

Currently my partner is running a tennis club on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. These classes are 6pm until 10pm (travel inclusive).

This leaves us with Wednesday as “our time”. I’ve expressed in the past that this doesn’t feel enough for me. But he’s told me that he’s unable to drop the commitment at the tennis club.

At the weekends, his Dds are here. DD10 has SEN and acts younger than her age. I love them both every much, I’ve been in their lives for 4 years. But weekends are full on - either driving to clubs, family days out. They go to bed around 10 meaning we don’t have evenings together either. I accepted this and fully embrace them being here. It does feel nice to feel like part of their family and I can’t fault them, they’re lovely kids.

My issue is that I feel like me and my partner are passing ships.

He’s just told me he intends to join the reserve army? He said training will take place Tuesdays 6:30-9:30.

I’m very hurt. It’s the one day a week I feel we have time to be a couple. I think we’ve lost sight of this and function more as a family unit. I know parents do not have time “off” parenting, but I am a parent’s partner. I did chose to date a man with children and I would never begrudge them being here. They’re only here 3 days a week. But every time they’re not here, DP is out doing his tennis, and now, the reserves. If he joins, it will also mean a weekend away from DDs. He’s said that they’re still welcome to come over, and of course they are, but where’s the consideration for what I want?

I’ve told him I think it will negatively affect our relationship if he maintains his tennis club and army training.. he says I’m controlling. Do you think I am controlling?

Welcome to the 12th thread, we still have 50 days till the daily unboxing officially starts, although I very much doubt any of our calendars will remain untouched until then 😂
Still time for lots more friendly chat, tips and discount codes - to cut down on links as a poster requested, here's link to some very comprehensive run-downs of the calendars https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars/
When enjoying those breakdowns please remember that some are OOS already - Harrod's Fragrance, Harrod's Beauty and Selfridges Beauty to name a few.

Something that doesn’t make me feel
like i am going to dislocate both shoulders getting it on and off- is there ones that fasten at the front maybe? Big chested, 40 D needed.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations 😊 .

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5577375-bargain-referrals-thread

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

If there’s anything you think would be useful or good to include in this post then please do tag or DM @reastie (the traditional thread starter!) and let them know.

Has anyone heard of this? My dh is having surgery soon and I just need to know the answer to something truthfully once and for all. As awful as it sounds I thought I could use this opportunity in the days after his operation to find out whether he actually has done something that he always said he wouldn't. I have no evidence just a couple of random bits of info which may or may not be connected. Its not that serious an operation but involves a general anaesthetic.

He seems too good to be true.

Unspeakably handsome. Funny. Intelligent. Has his life together. Warm. Great in bed.

He told me before we met up for the first time that he doesn’t do casual, and he hopes this isn’t that. That’s after speaking for a while before meeting.

I thought this may be a sign of love bombing? He kept saying how he couldn’t believe I was available, how amazing I look, etc etc.

Met up for a walk. Then we had our first date. And then second date (had sex). He has gone away for the week now to Singapore for work and says he’s so happy, and really wants to talk about something properly when he’s back. And says he can’t wait (in an excited way).

Do you think he is going to ask for exclusivity? I mean, I am unofficially giving him that. Not because I feel I must but I just can’t entertain anyone else with him on the mind. He’s lush.

Is it a red flag that/if he wants to move things so quickly?

He seems to genuinely think I am too good to be true. Which is incredibly odd because I think the same about him.

He is like a male version of me, looks aside. He doesn’t just mirror. I’ve mentioned stuff and he’s said he likes the same, and there’s been examples of that happening where he either shows me that thing there and then or shows me on his phone pics of him doing that! So wouldn’t have had time to pretend he likes it etc

Work from home and meeting colleagues in the flesh for first time at big Xmas party at NEC Birmingham. Very few photos of the venue in party mode so not sure what to wear. Any tips for oldest woman in the company by a long way! Petite size 12 basically straight up and down. Prefer 3/4 or longer sleeves and midi length. I'm thinking black with some glam/glitz but out of my comfort zone so struggling with shopping. Will only wear it once!

Apparently you lot like gunk. The "juicier" the better. I am not a fan, but I've been told that you will bite my hand off for images of my husband's back cyst, with the pus in all its glory. He's now on his second week of strong antibiotics to help remove it and he sees the nurse practitioner twice a week to have more pus removed and his dressing changed. But I have to change his dressing in between times. This is real love.

So I'm doing this for your sake, and for @AMansAManForAllThat.

And you also get a picture or two of his neck cyst that has been drained once, but has refilled and the GP says they don't drain them a second time.

You have been warned.

There are a lot of images over the last month from a red bump that wasn't sore to, well you'll see...

I'm posting this now, then I'll switch to my phone so I can load the images for you.

Exactly that. Married 25 years. Had a huge arguement tonight as he moaned about lights being left on and it escalated. I said in anger that he can not expect a birthday celebration tomorrow. He said fine.
I’m now not sure what to do?

I honestly dont even know why I’m posting. I just feel like I cant do this anymore.

He’s 13, turned 13 three weeks ago. I know he’s a child and I know how bad this sounds but I hate him. I hate saying that about my own child but I am at the end of my tether and nobody seems to listen when I say how bad things have got.

His dad died when he was 7 and I’ve brought him up on my own since then. I know he’s had a lot to deal with but I cant keep excusing everything because of that. I dont know what else I’m supposed to do.

This morning school sent him home because he was sick. He’s been sick again since he’s been home but he went to sleep for a bit and seems fine now. He asked if he could go out tonight and I said no because he’s been ill and I dont want him going out and then being sick again somewhere. That was it. Apparently I’m picking on him because he’s been ill, I’m always ruining everything and I never let him do anything. He started shouting at me and calling me names. I said I wasnt arguing about it and he got even worse.

He’s shoved past me to get out of the room and shouted that he hopes I die. Just screamed it at me. I honestly dont even know what to say to that anymore. I told him to get away from me and he carried on shouting. Now he’s in his room and I’m downstairs trying to calm down and he’s probably forgotten all about it already.

This is what its like here all the time. I can ask him to do something completely normal and it turns into a massive argument. He calls me a stupid bitch, pathetic, thick, says nobody respects me and that I’m a shit mum. If I get upset he says I’m being dramatic. If I shout back then apparently I’m the one with the problem. He knows exactly what to say to hurt me and sometimes I honestly think he does it on purpose.

I know I let him get away with things. I tell him the xbox is going off and he argues for ages, swearing and following me around the house, and sometimes I just give up and let him carry on because I havent got the energy for another row. Same with his phone. I’ve taken it off him because of things I’ve found on there and then ended up giving it back because I just cant cope with hours of shouting. I know people will say I’m making a rod for my own back and maybe I am but I’m so tired. I cant spend every evening fighting with a 13 year old.

The stuff he says online worries me as well. I’ve seen messages where he’s making really nasty comments about girls at school, mocking their looks and saying things about women being good for one thing. He’s watching these men online who talk about women like they’re worthless and repeating what they say. When I challenge him he tells me I know nothing and girls are just as bad. He doesnt seem to see anything wrong with it. I’ve tried putting restrictions on his phone but he gets round them and then I’m back to another argument.

I have tried asking for help and I honestly feel like I’m talking to a brick wall. He seems to have no limit to how nasty he can be when he’s angry. He’ll say the most horrible thing imaginable and then carry on as if nothing happened. I dont know how I’m supposed to keep dealing with this on my own.

I’ve even thought about ringing social services and saying I dont want him anymore. I havent done it but the thought has crossed my mind more than once. Just saying I cant have him here, I cant do this anymore, someone else needs to take over because I’m done. Then I feel disgusting for even thinking it because he’s my child and he’s only 13. But I genuinely dont know how much longer I can keep living like this. I dont want to abandon him but I also dont know how to help him when nobody seems willing to help us.

I hate what our relationship has become. I dread him coming home sometimes. When he’s out I feel relieved and then feel guilty for feeling relieved. I dont even want to speak to him after what he’s just said to me. I know people will say I’m the adult and I shouldnt feel like this but I’m a person as well and I can only take so much.

I know I’m not perfect and I shout and lose my temper. Sometimes I give in because I just want peace. I’m not proud of it. I just feel like I’ve reached the point where I dont know what to do next.

Welcome to our long running thread for political discussion, general chit chat, a friendly hug and taxes in kind.

💐 and for anyone who needs them.

Previous thread
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5584189-thread-7-burnham-teimlor-hwyl-feel-the-hwy?page=40&reply=155322195

My ex and I parted on good terms. Our first Christmas seperated we stuck to our annual tradition and took DD for a pre-Christmas meal out and decided to exchange a gift. He got me....bath bombs. Due to arthritis I haven't used a bath since childhood. We were allocated a bungalow because of the walk-in shower. I wasn't upset just totally baffled. We still celebrate DD's birthday together and she's an adult now. I'm remarried but DH knows we still get on okay. I'm still baffled by the bath bombs.

https://www.superdry.com/womens/trousers/mid-rise-baggy-jumbo-cord-pants-272707.html

Smarter than joggers, more comfortable than jeans.

I like the wide leg baggier styles, I have a narrow waist and thick thighs, I think they flatter me. But, the waist must be visible, I need tops that either tuck in, are fitted or short

What jumpers would you clear with the trousers...and/or are they awful?

I grew fond of a teal tshirt over the summer and realised this was a colour that suited me. Trying to find a jumper in the same colour. Size 12. This is the tshirt!

IToday i’ve realised how much my ds actually posts on social media. I knew he had TikTok and Instagram but not to this extent. I thought he mostly watched videos and followed bands etc but he’s got about 1.5k followers on TikTok and 53k likes altogether. He’s mostly showing his outfits, lip syncing to music and talking about bands he likes. Some of them are quite niche and he gets really into them. There’s pictures of himself too and the odd video talking about how he’s feeling. I just didn’t realise how much he was putting out there.

He’s 14, autistic and has quite significant mental health issues. He’s had a difficult couple of years and barely goes to school now. Last year they were fairly lax about his dyed hair and piercings because he was in the hub for most of the day anyway, it’s a room for the autistic children away from the other pupils. He’s got quite a few piercings already and is constantly begging me for more. The school have now changed their stance and said if they allow it for him they’d have to allow it for everyone, so he’s stopped attending altogether. It’s all got very difficult tbh.

He dresses emo/scene and it’s very much his thing. I’m not against how he looks and he’s openly bisexual on TikTok which isn’t an issue in our house. He doesn’t really have any friends in real life which I do worry about, although he’d probably tell you he doesn’t need any. Social media seems to be where he gets most of his interaction with people.

Some of the comments are a bit concerning. Some people take the piss out of him or call him weird and he’ll argue back for ages instead of just ignoring them. Then there are accounts that look like teenage girls flirting with him, calling him cute and tagging their friends under his pictures. One seems to comment on quite a lot of his stuff. I don’t know these girls or whether they’re actually who they say they are.

He does have an online friend who’s a girl and she’s 16. I’ve actually met her as they went to a small gig together and she seemed perfectly nice, also very scene and they have similar music tastes. So I know not every online friendship is dodgy and I’m not against him having friends online. They get on well and she seems to understand him. It’s the other accounts I don’t know what to make of.

I don’t want to ban everything just because I’m worried, as social media is one of the few places he seems confident and he does get a lot out of the music side of it. With him not really going to school or having friends outside the internet I worry taking it away would leave him even more isolated. But equally he’s not great at judging people’s intentions sometimes and can be very trusting if someone seems to like him. He gets defensive if I question anything and says I’m treating him like a little kid.

I just don’t know if I’m being too relaxed about the attention he’s getting, especially with his mental health being how it is. I knew he had social media, I just didn’t realise how public it all was or how many people were interacting with him.

Hi all. We are viewing a house this weekend that, if all looks good, we will most likely make an offer on. It's perfect for us.

However I've just done a quick search on Zoopla and the house last sold in December 2025. This has rang alarm bells for me, as the current owners have lived there less than a year before selling again. It was put on the market end of August so actually 8 months after they bought it.

Would this make you nervous? I will be asking the EA why this is the case, but wanted your opinions on whether I should proceed with caution? Thanks!

We've been together 15+ years, married with kids last 5, I thought we covered all the topics when it comes to values and principles - especially related to the way we raise our children but turns out he was full of it - to put it bluntly.
Essentially, with meeting new kids/parents through nursery/school - I now realise he is very much leaning toward being,well, racist 😔
You would think - how did I not notice this before....well the thing is he was always respectful to friends or colleagues regardless the ethnicity - but now when we discuss behaviour that our child picks up from the nursery from another child - he attributes/explains behaviours with 'well ofcourse this happened considering he is x'.
Then slowly such vocabulary moved into every day conversations about e.g. neighbours - he'd say derogatory things about particular nation based on behaviour of a single person that affects us.
I am just so blindsided and can't stop thinking about how this will shape our children.
How could I have been so blind...or could he had just pretended all this time, and why??
Or can people change their views about something so basic so dramatically?
Recently he started making mean comments about LGBTQ community too - I mean we have friends that he loves or I thought so...
I am also thinking his mum's recent visit may have encouraged him to speak up - clearly these are the values he was brought up with.
I am also ashamed... I am looking at my DS atm sleeping - he is such a warm friendly loving and a smart boy and he is being exposed to comments like this. He loves all his little friends. He was talking proudly about friends he'd like to invite to his bday and his grandma actually asked him what colour is a certain child...she also described a 4 yo girl in the playground as fat.
I am sorry if this is a jumble of topics here - a husband showing true colours years later, a toxic mil, a clash in values, challenge with co-parenting, protecting a child from instilling wrong values...
So is it that I was blind all this time (YANBU) and I just never got to know him - or people actually can just change their core values so drastically (YABU).

I’m curious about this as in the past I have definitely been in what I think most people would class as an emotional affair. Simply put, there was no sex, but a lot of companionable stuff like dinner together, seeing a film, etc, and touch that just started going on too long (think hugs that lingered or touching my hair). Where it stopped being ‘just friends’ is hard to pinpoint but if you’d asked me at the time if we were in an affair or a secret relationship I would have absolutely said no, because there was no sexual contact. I’d have said we were really close mates.

Looking back I can see how dumb I was (and that’s probably why I was selected by this man tbh), but it wasn’t until I was older I realised you could be pouring time and effort into another person and that could be even more damaging than something purely sexual. I don’t know, have you ever been in one or a victim of one? Where do you feel it crossed into ‘affair’ for you?

With hindsight, the moment he lied to his gf to do something with me was it I think (And of course, he told me a bunch of bull about their relationship and how it was casual, and so on. It ended when I realised how upset she was)

The latest Liberty Beauty Drop box is due out this week so it is the perfect time for a shiny, new thread. As usual, let's not discuss the contents here until Monday when the first boxes are delivered. Then those of us who want a surprise can avoid this thread from then. 🎁💄🧴