Just as it says in the title really.
Everything seemed fine until around 7 weeks ago. Then out of nowhere my husband accused me of being controlling, saying that over the course of our relationship, I had stopped him doing things he enjoyed and that I had said some hurtful things during arguments, which we were said in the heat of the
moment.
I held my hands up to saying hurtful things and said it came from a place where I felt as though there has been no consideration for me and as though my feelings aren’t worth anything. He often stays in bed on a morning while I sort out our kids who are all still young and I have said I have expectations that he helps out on a morning too. As for the controlling him, I have said to him over the years that sometimes it’d be nice if he would miss football for the odd weekend so we could do things as a family or have expressed my dislike at him coming in from a night out at 5am when we have children and other responsibilities.
He has mentioned occasions from 10+ years ago where I’ve asked him to forego football to spend the day with me after we’d been at work all week and I honestly don’t know how he can even remember specifics from that far back.
We both work full time and I work nights predominantly due to childcare.
Around 6 weeks ago he said he had hit his limit and wasn’t sure if he wanted to continue with our relationship. This threw me into a very dark place and I said I would take a step back in terms of losing my temper when I feel like I’m not being heard, which I’ve done, although he said this isn’t enough. I’m now on antidepressants, signed off sick from work and have a therapy appointment booked.
He has said he is done and is now looking for somewhere else to live but refuses to leave our home (rented not bought) until he has found somewhere. He has turned so cold towards me and acts like he hates me. I go from feeling devastated to angry and at this point feel as though I’m stuck in some awful limbo.
I’ve been in touch with a solicitor but was just hoping others who have been in the same boat could give me words of wisdom that things will feel less dark in time?
Thank you

I've wasted so much money over the years so I'm hoping someone can recommend a good one. I'm looking for one that gives length rather than volume, and I prefer a dryer formula if possible. My favourite is Maybelline Lash sensational, however I hate the brush and find it really difficult to use. So if anyone knows of one that gives a similar result but with a straighter/thinner brush that would be great

Ones I've tried but definitely didn't like are
Maybelline sky high
Loreal Panorama
Mac Stack - loved the look but it was so flaky unless there's a way of stopping that?
Rimmel mega lash
Rimmel extra lash

Happy to spend up to £20 if it's worth it

My husband has been acting strange/secretive with his phone for a couple of weeks now so I took it on myself to look at his phone. Yes I know it’s morally dodgy but we have each others log ins and I looked at it whilst he was feeding DS dinner (it was charging upstairs).

There is a woman who is obviously a co-worker. I only had time to look at messages from the past two days. He was in the office today. He messaged her to say please walk past my desk again so I can look at your arse. She said she’d be back up in an hour and she will walk slowly this time. He then messaged again (after about an hour) to say that was the highlight of his afternoon to which she replied she knew her trousers would get attention today and sent a peach symbol. That was the last message.

I confronted him straight away and he stormed off and hasn’t come home yet. Said how dare I look at his phone. I have tried to call him and he just declined the call. He sent a text to say I’ve betrayed his trust and he can’t believe I did that instead of speaking to him.

Am I wrong to have done this, I think that if you know something is up then it’s within your right to investigate?

I tried to book a massage at a new place yesterday but when I filled in their medical form and said I had cancer 8 years ago, they said they can't do it without a doctor's letter. Supposedly their insurance doesn't cover it as massage can cause any remaining cancer cells to grow again.

I'm astounded at their ignorance.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Two daughters. We live in a grammar area with an outstanding girls grammar school and some ok but very large secondary schools.

Eldest is likely to get into the grammar and is keen to go if she can.

Youngest has some physical and neurological disabilities which don't affect her intelligence but do mean she struggles to take things in within a busy school environment and is falling behind despite best efforts to support her. Her difficulties are not extreme enough for a specialist school, and frankly she wouldn't fit in any of the right boxes for that anyway. She will massively struggle in a busy secondary school as some of her issues are cognitive overload related.

She is still in infants school, but the issues are unlikely to resolve and I cannot see her getting in to the grammar.

If my eldest does get into the grammar, do I put my youngest in a private secondary school because (a) the state ones will drown her (b) to equalise the opportunities between them.

Would my eldest feel hard done by with this, even though the grammar has a better reputation (and results) than the local independents? We couldn't put them both in private because it would be a push (but manageable) financially for just one. I'm thinking about this now so we could start financially planning for it if needed.

Hi all. I've got an 18mo DD who is just, a firecracker. She's always called a happy baby by everyone, and she is, but she's also absolutely savage and insane. Everything is a delight and a game and a reason to get overexcited.

Sometimes she gets handsy, other times she throws toys or pulls hair. With us, we don't mind so much but nursery have now put her on a behaviour plan! I never heard of such a thing.

When she started to be like this around 12-14mo we used to firmly tell her not to, remove her from the situation or toy or person, but not over labour the point so as not to give her attention over it. She loves the attention. We also got given a sticker chart and a set of laminated cards with red stop signs or happy or sad faces etc to help her identify her feelings or to know when to stop.

I know all toddlers can get this way but my older DD who's now 6 was never this bad. She's now on a behaviour plan where the nursery tries to track any triggers or particular people but they're not spotting any pattern. They ring us almost daily now with something she's done, and mostly she's not hurting other kids though there have been a couple of occasions of pushing or pulling. She knows how to say sorry and does it well, so understands the concepts of no or kind hands. But the thing is, for her, it's never a tantrum or upset or malicious behaviour it's the opposite- she's just happy and overexcited and misplaces the energy. She doesn't realise when she could hurt someone, she just has this thrilled look in her eye like it's all play.

At this point I genuinely feel like my little happy girl might be the first ever baby to get expelled from a nursery! I half feel indignant because, why are the nursery staff ringing me to check if I've been using the sticker chart properly when I'm at work... she's literally a 1 year old baby who can't speak yet. She's just about starting to pick up single words now. On the other hand, I know she's more demanding than my first and handsy and I'm starting to feel like a bad mum. But I literally don't know what else I can do? If I tell her off even more she just wiggles away or gets happier from the attention and eye contact. She's kind of feral but we love it and think it's just her baby nature and will grow out of it. But is there something I'm missing? Could we be trying something else? Any advice much appreciated! At this daily rate I'm sure they're going to tell us they can't handle her and we need to leave soon!

So I walk in the post office and there’s a big queue,I would say around 10 people in front.
A lady was in front of me…so I walked to the back of the shop and sat down on a chair.
When the lady was next to be served I walked into the queue and told the woman behind her that I was behind this lady and that I had just been sitting down as I didn’t want to stand …am I jumping a queue here ?
Is this acceptable ?
Obviously I wasn’t this person..I was the woman in the queue being told that I needed to let her in front of me…I wasn’t happy at all.
The man behind me said “well I can’t be bothered to queue either,shall I go for a coffee and come back in a hour and walk to the front”
It made me laugh ….

Really don’t know how to do this or even if I should - basically, I have had a friend since childhood, we did a hobby together, and have always lived near each other, and have somehow stayed in touch in adulthood, despite being very different people. We meet up for drinks every few months, initiated by her, and to be brutally honest I have been trying over the years to let the friendship run its course, I find the meet ups quite painful as we have nothing in common other than reminiscing.

Tbh I have always been surprised that she keeps messaging and making arrangements to spend time together because I’ve not even been sure up til now that she even likes me - she can be quite judgemental, and I don’t think I match up to her standards! I’m quite a people pleaser and find it hard to say no, so I have always just agreed to meet despite dreading it.

A few weeks ago she got engaged, then this weekend she invited me to hers for drinks. Her fiancé was there, and they were talking about the wedding and saying they were worried they would offend people as it is going to be strictly family only, no friends at all. I immediately started to reassure them that I had no expectations of being invited, but they cut me off, looking horrified, and said of course I’m invited because me and friend are best friends and like sisters 🤯

I have never considered her a close friend, and am truly gobsmacked that she sees our relationship like this. The wedding is literally just their families and me, and I am also invited to the hen do which is a foreign holiday with female family members, no friends. It sounds like hell - I know her family to say hi to, but that is it. Wtf do I do, and how have I misjudged the relationship so badly?! The wedding is on a weekend with nearly 2 years notice so I can’t even say I have plans or anything.

I didn’t know which category to put this in! Would especially love to hear opinions from seasoned campers and vanners.
we need to release money for our sons house deposit. We don’t have it all so would remortgage for some of it.
we have a VW campervan which we could sell
basically the financial difference between keeping or selling the van would be around £400 over 4 and a half years.
just writing it out here it seems like a no brainer!
but we do love our weekends in the van. Anyone switched to a tent from a van and kept their relationship intact? We tend to just do weekends.

I had an email from Amazon saying that a package had been delivered. No photo. When I got home I found the back door open, the package inside the door and the cat gone.

Does anyone know what could have caused this?
I usually have good skin. I'm in my 50s and been on a hrt patch for a while so that's not new. No other meds.
I'm abroad next week should be sunny. I'm worried it'll get worse.
Also can anyone recommend a good sun cream for the face?
TIA

My MIL very much wants to be the involved grandma who is asked to babysit our children (6 and 2) and DH is very keen for his mum to feel included and important as a grandmother, so we ask her to babysit. The problem is that whenever we actually do ask her, she doesn’t really do what we ask. It’s never anything catastrophic, but it’s consistently frustrating. She’ll keep our eldest up far too late because she doesn’t want to properly enforce bedtime, so we then get back an overtired, emotional child. She’ll let our toddler skip naps or completely ignore routines because she thinks “one day won’t hurt,” when of course it absolutely does when we’re then left dealing with the fallout. She also has a habit of giving treats, screen time, or freedoms we’ve specifically said no to, and generally treats our parenting preferences more like optional suggestions than actual instructions.

So instead of childcare genuinely helping us, it often creates more stress afterwards. Before anyone says “well, let DH deal with the aftermath then,” yes, he often does. But that doesn’t magically solve the issue. I’m still in the same house listening to overtired children screaming, struggling, and melting down, and I’m hardly going to sit there with my feet up while my kids are miserable just to prove a point. Their difficult evening still affects the whole household, regardless of whose “turn” it is to manage it.

The key point is that we are not remotely short on childcare. My side of the family help and actually respect our routines and boundaries (DH agrees that this is the case), and if needed we also have paid childcare options who, unsurprisingly, do exactly what we ask. So this isn’t about necessity at all. It’s much more that DH feels guilty because his mum clearly wants to feel needed, involved, and chosen, and he worries that not asking her more often will hurt her feelings. On Sunday we went out because apparently MIL was sad that she hadn’t been asked to babysit in a while, whereas my mum had been a lot recently. To me it felt almost like she hadn’t had her turn to play with the toys and is in a mood about it - they’re actual living humans!

Childcare isn’t a charitable role you hand out to preserve a grown adult’s sense of importance. She absolutely loves the children, and I’m not trying to cut her out or stop her seeing them, but I am increasingly struggling with the idea that we should knowingly make our own lives harder, and our children’s evenings harder, just to protect her feelings. Seeing them with us present apparently isn’t the same thing to her. AIBU to think that “wanting to feel included” isn’t enough reason to keep using someone for babysitting when they repeatedly ignore how you want your children cared for? And how do others navigate this without it becoming huge family drama, especially when your husband seems more focused on not upsetting his mother than on whether the childcare is actually helpful?

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As a result of the disastrous results for Labour in the recent elections, many people - even within his own party - are now calling for Keir Starmer to stand down.

Would that really help Labour though? It seems to me that a lot of the reasons people are fed up - like the cost of living & housing crisis for example, are not his fault personally but more a result of years of underinvestment, mainly by previous Conservative governments.

Yes he does lack charisma and personally I think the Conservatives have a better leader in Kemi Badenoch. But I wouldn't vote for a political party purely based on how charismatic their leader is.

When you look at the alternatives - I like Wes Streeting but would he be able to turn around the fortunes of the Labour party before the next General Election - I doubt it. And the same goes for Andy Burnham, even if they did find a way to make him eligible for party leadership in time.

The Tories caused turmoil with their constant leadership challenges and it didn't help their brand. Starmer hasn't done anything too awful that I'm aware of - wouldn't it be better just to keep him in post?

I went part-time when I had my first child, and my second is starting school in Sept.

DP and I pay 50% of the mortgage and household bills each (before I went part time, and throughout maternity leave, I paid more). I said I would go back to full-time work when DC were at school but now… I don’t want to? AIBU?

AIBU.... to be pissed off and feeling like my Childminder is gossiping about my DC?

So youngest DS (7) can be a real handful at times..... it's not major stuff though but I am mindful and I'm keeping an eye on it etc...... anyway a couple of weeks back School rang to inform me of an incident in School dealt with and move on... Teacher mentioned on the call that he isn't naughty but she does have to remind him to sit down or to be quiet etc but in her words all very low level.... I don't do drop off or pick up and calls home are not frequent so when they do I always check in in general etc.... anyway, I know he has an ongoing love/hate friendship with a boy in his class who he has and probably still is best friends with.... this boy is just as bad if not worse than my DS except he is also very sly with it he is also small and acts the quiet one so can hide in plain sight.... my DS unfortunately is tall, he is also loud and bloody well opinionated at times 🙄however, said childs mum thinks the sun shines out of his arse quite frankly.... last week whilst with his afterschool childcare there has been an altercation on the park involving my DS, this boy, this boys other friend and 2 other youngsters on the park..... my DS has snapped and tripped him up and also swore which he has been punished for.... it was a small issue and dealt with. Anyway mum of other child has now decided she doesn't want her angel near my demon child, no issue with this tbh as I have seen much for myself and I'd be happy to keep them apart. Friday when with the same childminder he has apologised straight away as he also has to the child and the child's mum which I think is very brave for 7..... they have ignored him which is fine and my DS has played with other children really well without any issue.... however, said child wouldn't leave him alone and was continuously coming to my DS trying to get a reaction.... I am working on his reactions as he will take so much then snap but this child knows this and imo is doing it deliberately....his mother said nothing until my CM actually pulled her and said get that sorted it's not on.

I gave dropped my DS this morning at breakfast club and the care provider has said "are you ok? is XX ok, he isn't coping well at the minute is he?" I have asked what she means and find that she has been told about the park last week and the one incident in school....... I don't think this is a not coping issue just that there have been 2 issues but totally seperate.... turns out her brother has told her and she has sat discussing my child with him at weekend...... she also then said she was talking to his teacher last week about him and said how she was saying him and other child remind her of her son and his friend.... childminder & teacher are friends which I am aware of......... and I also know friends talk.... but I'm really pissed off that she has had the front to actually tell me and to act like she is caring but has discussed behind my back....... AIBU?

We've had a new mattress, so decided to clear everything off our ottoman. Our bed & Ottoman very rarely looks this tidy. Does this look dated?

Lisa Nandy ran for leadership of Labour against Starmer (I voted for her). So how come Wes Streeting is being talked about and pushed forward, but Lisa isn't?

YABU - no one's heard of her
YANBU - this is weird and sucks, especially for a party who is yet to have a woman leader and has been bested by the EDI loving Conservatives on this repeatedly!

I’m in my 20’s, mum is in her 60’s.

I’ve asked her if she wants to go on a girls trip at the end of the year. 4 nights in a city in Europe (we’ve not chosen yet).

Would you do this? I don’t know if It seems a little odd to do or if it’s totally normal.

Just as it says in the title really.

Everything seemed fine until around 7 weeks ago. Then out of nowhere my husband accused me of being controlling, saying that over the course of our relationship, I had stopped him doing things he enjoyed and that I had said some hurtful things during arguments, which we were said in the heat of the
moment.

I held my hands up to saying hurtful things and said it came from a place where I felt as though there has been no consideration for me and as though my feelings aren’t worth anything. He often stays in bed on a morning while I sort out our kids who are all still young and I have said I have expectations that he helps out on a morning too. As for the controlling him, I have said to him over the years that sometimes it’d be nice if he would miss football for the odd weekend so we could do things as a family or have expressed my dislike at him coming in from a night out at 5am when we have children and other responsibilities.
He has mentioned occasions from 10+ years ago where I’ve asked him to forego football to spend the day with me after we’d been at work all week and I honestly don’t know how he can even remember specifics from that far back.

We both work full time and I work nights predominantly due to childcare.

Around 6 weeks ago he said he had hit his limit And wasn’t sure if he wanted to continue with our relationship. This threw me into a very dark place and I said I would take a step back in terms of losing my temper when I feel like I’m not being heard, which I’ve done, although he said this isn’t enough. I’m now on antidepressants, signed off sick from work and have a therapy appointment booked.

He has said he is done and is now looking for somewhere else to live but refuses to leave our home (rented not bought) until he has found somewhere. He has turned so cold towards me and acts like he hates me. I go from feeling devastated to angry and at this point feel as though I’m stuck in some awful limbo.

I’ve been in touch with a solicitor but was just hoping others who have been in the same boat could give me words of wisdom that things will feel less dark in time?

Thank you

Long story short, I’ve been estranged from most of my family for years due to longstanding issues/boundary problems.
Recently, I reopened limited contact with my mum for practical reasons only (passport/card related things etc). I made it very clear I did not want contact with my dad.

At the weekend I went to collect something from my mum. I deliberately parked away from the house because I was anxious about my dad being there. I expected my mum to come out and hand me the item quickly.

Instead, my dad came out and approached the car and what was meant to be a quick handover turned into a long emotional interaction that I absolutely did not consent to or want. Afterwards I felt completely emotionally ambushed and shaken up.

What’s also upset me is that over the years my dad has given my number to extended family members I never even had relationships with in the first place. Some have attempted to contact me years later despite me never engaging with them.

Now I’m seriously considering changing my number entirely because I’m exhausted by feeling like people can crawl out of the woodwork and access me through a number I no longer feel fully in control of. At the same time, changing your number is obviously a massive faff with banking, work, services etc.

AIBU to want a completely fresh number and a clean communications reset after all this?

What is the one or two things in your kitchen that make you really happy with it?

We are looking to do some improvements to ours this year and I'm looking for inspiration.

A friend is getting married in NYC later this year. The dress code is black tie. The venue has not been disclosed and will not be disclosed until the day of the event to avoid media attention as they are within the celebrity sphere (I know them through family and am very much not from this world)
Any advice on something suitably glamorous given there may be a few A listers present and I don’t want to look out of place? I’m 5’7, size 8-10. Budget not really an issue

handhold please.. my partner of 6 years has been having what I can assume as an emotional affair with a girl he’s met near his work. He had been sneaking out with random excuses and I’ve seen multiple phone calls to her whilst he’s been out etc, all messages have been deleted so I’ve got no idea how far it’s gone/whether it’s been physical and I’m not getting the truth at all.
we own a house together 50/50 joint, where the hell do I go from here? I have 3 young kids 😭

Can anyone explain postage choices on Vinted? As a seller, I have edited my list of couriers that I can/will use. I deleted Royal Mail as an option. This week I sold an item and when I opened the label it was Royal Mail!

But, as a buyer, there is never a menu to select which courier I wish to use. I just pay the final amount and wait and see which courier brings the parcel. (Always crossing my fingers it's not Yodel if I want something quickly.)

Another small irritation is that sometimes I'm required to print a postage label, sometimes not, even when using the same courier.

I've read other posts where people talk about selecting a courier, but I cannot see how. Anyone out there no the answer?

TIA