To change my number after an unwanted family ambush?

[MyKindPlumMoose]

Long story short, I’ve been estranged from most of my family for years due to longstanding issues/boundary problems.
Recently, I reopened limited contact with my mum for practical reasons only (passport/card related things etc). I made it very clear I did not want contact with my dad.

At the weekend I went to collect something from my mum. I deliberately parked away from the house because I was anxious about my dad being there. I expected my mum to come out and hand me the item quickly.

Instead, my dad came out and approached the car and what was meant to be a quick handover turned into a long emotional interaction that I absolutely did not consent to or want. Afterwards I felt completely emotionally ambushed and shaken up.

What’s also upset me is that over the years my dad has given my number to extended family members I never even had relationships with in the first place. Some have attempted to contact me years later despite me never engaging with them.

Now I’m seriously considering changing my number entirely because I’m exhausted by feeling like people can crawl out of the woodwork and access me through a number I no longer feel fully in control of. At the same time, changing your number is obviously a massive faff with banking, work, services etc.

AIBU to want a completely fresh number and a clean communications reset after all this?

Can you just not block unwanted contacts? I wouldn’t change my mobile number. It’s attached to/is security for too much stuff.

I have certain contacts in my favourites and then have DND on at all times but allowing favourites to get through. No spam calls, no calls from people I don't want to hear from - peaceful.

I have just blocked all the numbers of people I have no desire to receive communications from. One tried using another number but I blocked that. Also don’t open any communications from them. They will eventually lose interest when they realise you are not engaging.

Assuming you want to cut contact completely, and not hear about possible deaths, births, illness etc, I would certainly go through the hassle of changing my phone number to remove a source of pain from my life. But these family members will get your new number if there is a mutual relative/friend which you and they are in contact with. It's not something that you can control. I wouldn't go to the bother if such a person exists.

Or you could do what my dd and most of her generation seem to do and not answer the phone ever.

There is a feature you can enable on iPhone that requires callers introduce themselves before you answer.

Me too. I've turned off voicemail as well. Bliss.

Anything else I am expecting I can adjust and then revert my blocked settings, e.g if expecting a call from a medical clinic etc.

You should've changed your number ages ago

I dont see what the big deal is, its just a number

Having to hear an abusive relatives voice is likely to induce a panic attack.

I changed my number for the same reason, it wasn't as much hassle as I expected.

The first thing I do when I get a new phone is disable the voicemail.

If someone calls and you don't want to speak to them, don't speak to them.

End the call and block the number.

Block the unwanted callers. That's what I'd do.