Was Paul Newman, discuss

DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

Long story short but feeling a bit let down and sad - my daughter is due to have her party this weekend and handed out invites back in June before her friends at pre school and nursery finished for summer - we had so many invites declined for various reasons and in the last few days had at least 3 people pull out of her party. We still have plenty of children attending but some of the friends we invited we are quite close with and feel like they just couldn’t care less lots of ‘sorry to let you down’ but it’s just left a bitter taste in my
mouth. I always like to put effort into other friends and others we know but after this I just feel like why bother. I don’t know what I’m asking but just feel upset on my daughters behalf I know she won’t mind and will be too busy playing at her party to really notice I think it’s more me that feels hurt by the number of people that have either pulled out last minute or feeling like they have better things going on, when we have celebrated their child’s party in the past..

Welcome to Thread 5! 🥳

A huge thank you to @OvaHere and @JoRaRaRa for the previous threads, and to everyone who's been sharing spoilers, links, bargains, discount codes and enabling each other over the first 4 threads. ❤️
As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.

🎅 A few festive housekeeping notes;

🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy... we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.

🎁 Available Now

Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Full contents revealed. Beauty Drop member pre order has closed and those advents are being dispatched. The advent will go on general sale soon (BD members still qualify for the discount during the general sale)
www.libertylondon.com/uk/features/beauty/beauty-advent-calendar#
Unboxing

P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available.
https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar

John Lewis – £250. Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members.
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – £270. Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475

Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – £99. Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465

Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – £225. Pre-sale currently sold out. Expected back in-store during September (date TBC).
https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Vogue Festive Calendar – £355. Available to pre-order
https://shop.vogue.co.uk/products/vogue-festive-calendar-2026

Fortnum & Mason Beauty Advent Calendar - £275. Available now
https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnums-beauty-advent-calendar-2026

Fenwick 25 day beauty advent calendar - £250. Available now
https://fenwick.co.uk/products/fenwick-fenwick-beauty-25-day-advent-calendar-2026

Anthropologie 24 Day Beauty Advent Calendar – £98. Available now
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/24-days-of-beauty-advent-calendar5

The Fragrance Shop - Available for pre-order £120 members, £150 non-members
Women's Advent Calendar
https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76306
Men's Advent Calendar https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76307

⏳ Coming Soon / Waitlists
Cult Beauty £245 - £20 gift voucher back when buying at launch 03/09 early access.
https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/

Harvey Nichols
(website is down currently due to to the company buyout but will return soon) Details TBC.
Beauty:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/
Fragrance:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/

John Lewis Fragrance £99
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Space NK £275
https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html
Unboxing video

Elle £197 or £187 if you join waitlist
https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/

Boots launch 01/09 for waitlist then 2/09 for general sale
www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list
Luxe £150
beauty-detective.com/boots-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Scent £90
beauty-detective.com/boots-12-days-of-scent-advent-calendar-2026/
Skin £70
beauty-detective.com/boots-24-days-of-skin-advent-calendar-2026/

Sephora UK
Spoilers:
https://beauty-detective.com/sephora-uk-advent-calendar-2026/
Waitlist: https://www.sephora.co.uk/c/beauty-advent-calendar-waitlist

Selfridges
Beauty & Fragrance £250
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance (lots of price rumours about this one - could be similar to Harrods fragrance or could twice as much)
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

LookFantastic Beauty
https://www.lookfantastic.com/c/waitlist/advent/?srsltid=AfmBOoovzs9M5Kt8-RM_31Q3-JOa6N51uGggpe0hglvZbxC5Of7AFTH_
LookFantastic Fragrance
https://beauty-detective.com/lookfantastic-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Glossybox
https://beauty-detective.com/glossybox-advent-calendar-2026/

OK! Beauty Box £109
https://beauty-detective.com/ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar-2026/

Next £150
https://beauty-detective.com/next-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Debenhams £120
https://www.debenhams.com/pages/beauty-advent-calendar

PURESEOUL £140 (first year they are doing an advent)
beauty-detective.com/pureseoul-advent-calendar-2026/

💄 More Calendars & Spoilers
Rather than making the opening post a mile long, here's a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Jo Malone, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, Holland & Barrett, YesStyle and many more as they're announced.

👉 https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars/ 👈

🎅 Happy advent season everyone! 🎁
Here's hoping for lots more spoilers, bargains, discount codes, and maybe a little self-control (although that's already gone for some 😄)

I hope I’ve captured everything 🩷

So im Currently at a bbq with friends, only a few i dont know.
Its really quite warm and sunny, what i would call beach weather. My DP has quesgioned my chice of clothing on this paricularly warm day which consists of denim mini skirt and a close fitting crop top, its alittle sheer with diamantee style lettering to the front.
In heat like this i would normally be in a bikini in the garden.
I think hes well out of order

Need urgent advice please because I don't know what to make of this and I'm incapable of keeping my emotions in! Months ago I found the back of an earring on my bed and confronted DH because I'm sure it wasn't mine, he was very convincing that there was nothing untoward going on. Naive as this may sound I don't think he's the sort that would cheat, I don't see how he'd even have the time for it (he works full time and we have 2 young DC). So I chalked it up to the cleaner/something I'd forgotten that got caught up and moved inadvertently.

This evening I have just found half a fake nail on my upstairs landing and I have no explanation of where it could have come from. I've fully panicked and managed to look through DHs phone. I didn't find anything on WhatsApp, Facebook or text messages.

I do not know what to do. I want to confront him because I'm terrible at hiding my feelings but I assume if anything IS going on he will just play it off again. What should I do? Apologies for the rushed and possibly incoherent message! x

Dd has been renting with her boyfriend. She has told me they have discussed getting engaged next year. Out of the blue he was bought a beautiful flat in London by his family, and wants dd to move there with him. She would be paying rent for a finite period of time to cover certain costs.

My AIBU is that I feel if they plan to get engaged shortly, surely they should be buying together? We would have helped with a small deposit and dd earns as much as he does, if not more. I’m delighted for her boyfriend who I love, but also want DD to get onto the property ladder.

I am not sure how to word this without causing offence, judgment. If this does offend or cause upset know that was not my intention. My 80s upbringing likely has influenced my thought pattern.

I keep seeing videos around SEN and PDA, I understand that demands causes anxiety etc however I suppose my question what happens is as an adult you override this. For example you need to leave the house for appointment/ preplanned thing and child with PDA refuses. Why not just pick them up and put them in car/push chair etc. I know I know I sound harsh and child likely would cry and be upset BUT (please correct me happy to learn) they would calm down and realise the avoidance was necessary or justified. I suppose the videos I have seen it seems some parents enable the behaviour.

I fully expect to receive criticism as I know for many this is a sensitive subject but it’s by asking questions others can learn I have no child in my life with these difficulties so I don't understand but I would like to.

(title is suggested one)

I've decided to treat myself, but I don't know where to start.

Firstly I don't know what else to call the kind of bag I'm after, hence "status" bag. I like Chanel, LV, which I know some fashionistas like to sneer at, so please, if that's you, respect that we all have different preferences.

I'm looking for a lovely every day bag, that I don't look stupid with on the school run etc. We live rurally, and didn't before, so all my Chanel and LV with chain straps etc would look majorly over done and I'd feel ridiculous wandering round town on casual shop with one. I do sometimes take my neverful but I'd like something much smaller. Slouchy and comfy as opposed to stiff leather.

What's a casual but still "status" bag that I could go for? I don't like massive gold logos etc like the GG Gucci bags, or the ones with big YSLs down the front. I would like it to be recognisable as branded, but from close up, not from across the street if you see what I mean.

Thank you.

I met a woman through a local hobby (fitness group) that I volunteer for. When she became pregnant she stopped training. We realised we live on the same street (six houses apart) and I began going swimming with her to help keep her fitness up. I don't love swimming but it was nice for the company and it meant we could share a (my) car.

She messaged after she had the baby but said no visitors. Then when baby was there months old she offered to call over so I could meet him. I was delighted, had a gift, made the place comfortable for them both. She called over and stayed four hours even thought I was feeding DC around her. I was expecting a much shorter visit and had to get firm explaining I needed to get DC ready for bed. She ate dinner and dessert too.

Then she suggested visiting again so I said yes but let's go for a walk this time with baby and stop at a coffee shop. Three times she has come then said no it's easier to just come in, I've no blanket, it's going to rain, my hip is sore. Every single time I have to ask her to leave after the visit drags on saying "I'm sorry I have things to do" repeatedly. The last time she firmly said she wouldn't as baby was sleeping and she couldn't disturb. Then when he woke up she started setting him up for feeding and I had to carry him to his carrier, open the door and walk them home.

I don't have time to sit and chat for hours. I understand she's lonely but we aren't close friends and she never actually asks me about myself or let's me talk so it doesn't even feel like a friendship developing. I feel like some sort of public service that's there to support her keep her spirits up while she can't exercise with us.

A few days ago was the final straw. She had messaged and instead of ignoring it (as she often turns up then regardless) I replied and said don't call over, I'm far too busy. She read the message. My DH then came upstairs and told me she was in the sitting room waiting for me.

I came down and quite bluntly said "I told you I was busy, so I don't know why you're here. I'll have to ask you to leave."

My DH was horrified and said to me afterwards he was very embarrassed that I would be so nasty. He walked her around with the baby and he's not off with me.

I hadn't really spoken to him about how much she was annoying me as I thought I just need to deal with it differently.

I don't know what I'm asking but I'm feeling shitty now.

In reference to The Most Beautiful Man thread,

Just for balance, I thought we ought to show the women as well...

Gong Li
Zhang Ziyi
Louise Brooks
Cyd Charisse

Has anyone been in a similar situation? My youngest, 6yo, hates school swimming. She has a genuine fear of going into the pool at school, I think there is some sensory overload as she doesn't like the getting dressed part either. This causes a lot of anxiety at home the night before and in the morning of swimming. Can I refuse for her to go? She's at a private school. I'd be happy to take her swimming outside of school as we can manage that environment a lot better and she loves swimming on holidays and generally is ok with 1-1 lessons. I understand that they need to be able to swim 25m etc. We did some over the summer that were semi successful (she has some fear still of attempting things alone in the pool). I have 3 older kids so am all for building resilience but this is far more than that, she's genuinely afraid plus I think she get sensory overload. Thanks for any suggestions

Clothes accessories cosmetics everything.

Long story short DH and I have been married 6 years and have 2 very young dc.
About 3 years ago I snooped and found sexual messages to a woman. I confronted him and he admitted it was an old flame and it was just a couple days of messaging, he was sorry etc. we’d been going through a short separation completely unrelated to cheating and we’d just got back together, so I couldn’t understand why he wound message her while he was reconciling. However I’ve never gotten over it and it’s spiralling out of control. I can’t bring myself to ever check his phone again, I’m so frightened. It’s made me deeply insecure, I even check the woman’s Facebook and torture myself. I get paranoid, like tonight his phone is on flight mode - It’s left out and I took it off flight mode just to see if anything popped up. I cannot live like this anymore. I feel like I am going crazy, I don’t know wether I am severely paranoid from this or he’s up to something all the time. There’s no talking to him either, I’ve tried and his answer is it’s been years and to get over it. Why can’t I seem to move on?

Call me old fashioned, but isn't this sort of thing likely to provoke a run on toilet rolls? Couldnt find any other threads on it, but I think there is a "preppers" topic on here somewhere. In any case, what do you think? I'm sort of concerned, should I be? Or has this gone under the radar?

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2026/aug/25/uk-to-warn-citizens-to-stock-up-on-food-amid-threat-from-climate-crisis-and-hostile-states

https://www.dunelm.com/product/emily-metal-bed-frame-1000295082?defaultSkuId=31055771&size=Small+Double+4ft&colour=Cream

Am I being unreasonable to think that the gap between the bars could present a risk to a tween/young teenager, if their head were to become stuck between them? (I haven't measured the width of the gap). Or am I unreasonably stuck in some sort of baby / toddler safe sleeping mode? Tell me if IABU. Teen likes this style.

DD 17 is at Reading for the first time has called us to say tent has leaked all bedding and all clothes are soaked. We are 2.5 hrs away and debating driving to take her to a launderette and give her dry bedding to then sleep in her mates tent. She has been hyped for months so feeling bad for her. Any seasoned Reading parents have any other brain waves?!!

I'd say i'm a girls girl, if you call it that?
Enjoyed the company of men as friends more when younger, but had mainly female pals.
Just been for a dog walk around the neighbourhood with my family and ran into a couple around the corner. Any time we do, this woman just lights up around Dh and chats away (have seen her do this with other male neighbours too)
I've tried hard to be friendly and smiley but she's just not as friendly as with Dh and other men, laughing at his comments (he's not even that funny really 🤣) and chattering away, turning her back on me.
I don't know, maybe she just doesn't like me, which is fine, but she seems to love talking to the men, not women. I realise that sounds bitchy, I don't mean it to be, I just find it a bit annoying especially when we walk off and Dh says 'She's so nice!'
I have a feeling she maybe isn't!

Anyone had this or know what I mean?

I feel really hurt by a comment made by my partners sibling at a recent family gathering. I’ve recently had a baby, less than 6 months ago and partners sibling has just had theirs, they are both our first babies. We met to meet the baby. They said the baby’s full name and one of the names i hadn’t ever heard so I asked “what does that name mean” and the sibling replied “better than your baby” but saying my baby’s name so for example “better than Charlie”. Not the name, as in the name meaning means their child is better than our child, or that’s how I’ve taken it. I was a little stunned and there was an awkward silence. I was expecting my partner to say something to the sibling but they didn’t. I made a half laugh and the conversation moved on. I just feel quite upset now and like there will be an instant rivalry between the two babies who are cousins growing up. Maybe it’s hormones, so I need to know if I am being unreasonable or what I can do to stop this from becoming a thing or if I’ve taken the comment wrongly and they did mean the name is better than our babies name.

I know I sound horrible. I know I’ll get lots of hate saying leave him the poor man but I know a lot of women feel the same.
I love him but he just gets on my nerves anyone feel the same? Give me stories / things your husbands do that grate on you like a fork on a brick wall. 😂 I know I sound vile. I’m honestly not, just ughhhhh shudder.

I can't write. I write like I'm 7 years old. Actually a 7 year old probably writes better than me. My writing gas always been child like. Its getting worse though. I probably only pick up a pen a handful of times a year. The feel on my fingers feels strange. Anyway its really bad.

I’d love to hear people’s experiences of HRT.

I’m 40. I have got a prescription for HRT soon to be ready to collect and try! What can I expect?!

Should HRT be something women are offered late 30s/ early 40s before menopause hits?

If you take it, how beneficial have you found it to be?

Main reasons for asking for it from my GP is huge dip in energy levels coupled with not sleeping well. Bloods all came back ok for other things.

Would love to hear other people’s experiences of pros, cons and if you wish you’d done it sooner!

I live in a 4 in a block. I'm top floor and my garden (private) is the one shown on the left of the photo, surrounded by the fence. Neighbour is beneath and the window shown is her bedroom window. Both fences are mine, previous owner paid for them and for them to be erected.

I get on well enough with downstairs neighbour however the issue is that every time I go out to the garden, she comes out and chats, for a good half hour. She's elderly and I get that she just wants to chat, I have no problem with a short chat now and then, but last time I was out there, I had a whole day free when DC was at their dads and so wanted to get cracking on the garden, she came out 5 separate times, 3 times to chat for ages and will sometimes stand watching me from her bedroom window, which is a little awkward.

I'm not sure if it would be unreaonable of me to heighten the fence a little to give me privacy? I don't want to completely block her light, just her view into my garden! I was thinking of popping a trellis on top, so that light still gets through. Maybe pop some climbing flowers on it. The taller fence that can be seen is 6ft tall, i was thinking of matching the trellis height to this. Local planning permission dictates 6ft 6 inches is the limit that you can have fences, so I don't think I would be breaking any local laws. I'm sure she will complain as she's quite fixed on how she thinks things should be, so I'm not sure if it's unreasonable of me to do this?

I'm currently looking at my wardrobe and what I might want to update it for autumn.

I'm mid50s, 5'7" and size 14.

I'm currently looking at these:

Boots
https://lanxshoes.com/collections/womens-boots/products/edgworth-brown-distressed

Jacket
https://www.marksandspencer.com/faux-leather-harrington-jacket/p/clp61227207?color=SAGE&extid=ps_ps-pla-pmax_ggl_ww_ch__-UK-_-_bau_tier1&cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=23464567334&cq_con=&cq_term=&cq_med=pla&cq_plac=&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23459513439&gclid=CjwKCAjwtKrUBhAhEiwAr77ZouxSW1TOKd2eot-kyFgHD7u41KdbxQwXep71n0a8z0pK0sj6BWAaWRoCJVAQAvD_BwE

And carrot shape jeans.

What have you got your eye on?

[I categorically refuse to put the word ‘lighthearted’ in the title to indicate that Im not actually traumatised. Also because saying this post is lighthearted is just as facile as holding a little bus or building a Lego haus to illustrate my point.
See below.]

I realise that I don’t need to follow Mr B on instagram but I do and I’m feeling deeply patronised:

First a little toy bus (talking about buses innit), then a Lego house (building more Lego houses to amuse the homeless), a bit of cosplay by dressing up as a Sainsbury’s man of the people (to show that you can work at Sainsbury's and a sexy uniform is thrown in) and now… throwing a cowboy hat at the camera/phone to illustrate that cowboy builders are …cowboys.

Make it stop.

AIBU