It always strikes me as odd when men - completely innocent and just going about their own business it transpires - don't pick up on the anxiety they're causing by following too close, sticking behind rather than taking an opportunity to cross over or overtake etc. The lack of awareness or insight just further underlines the sex differences.
I've name changed for this as I've shared it before on MN but this is the situation I go back to in my head when this subject comes up
A few years ago (COVID times) I got into couch to 5k and running a lot (what else was there to do?!) and used the time my DC were at a sports club to do my runs. One night I dropped them off but chatted before setting off and mistimed my run so that the canalside wooded beauty spot that I usually ran through in the light,.was surprisingly dark and remote when I got there.
As I ran further into the spinney, the dusky light was completely drowned out by the tree cover and I was on high alert, regretting my choices and desperate to get back out to somewhere lighter and with other people around. At this point of heightened anxiety, 2 blokes suddenly appeared right behind me, having joined the path from a side cut through. I exclaimed/screamed and lost control of my breathing and went into full panic mode. In this few seconds I foresaw myself raped, murdered, hidden in undergrowth and my children being looked after by bewildered other mums when I didn't get back to pick them up....before the family being told the news by police etc etc. All ridiculous in hindsight but many women will have been in very similar situations - fully aware that making one risky choice led to this scenario.
As it was the 2 men immediately realised what I thought and why, moved ahead of me and talked to me from ahead, reassured me I was safe, told me they were going to keep running but stay ahead but nearby until we were back on the main route and under streetlights. They kept talking deliberately audibly between themselves, ran steadily about 20 metres ahead of me and made sure I wasn't left too far back in the dark as I sobbed along behind them.
It's actually tearing me up thinking about them. I was SO scared, and they were SO kind but they made it so clear they got it and by being so deliberate to keep their distance and be blatantly loud etc made me feel so safe.
I've told lots of male friends that if they're ever in a situation where they're concerned they've caused the anxiety - be blatant and name it, say "I'm just going to cross the road and walk ahead of you" etc
I even do it now, if I'm running or cycling behind someone and think they're not aware of my approach, I call out, "I'm just coming up behind you, don't want to scare you" in a cheery voice.
ETA - I think for me, that's why hearing DU insist on his certainty that he would approach a woman who had asked from same sex care, and talking about facing SP down when she screwed up her courage to beg for privacy, is so so upsetting. Knowing that good, kind, respectful men will bend over backwards to make things as ok as they can (even though they know they have no ill intent and would not cause harm) just highlights how horrendous DU's behaviour has been.
The men in my scenario weren't offended, they didn't take offence or feel affronted. They did what they could to get us all out of an awkward situation.