Bluestocking! The Gerbical

[ifIwerenotanandroid]

Welcome to the Bluestocking, where gerbils dance & quokkas - well, no-one's quite sure what they're up to.

Previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5169893-les-bas-bleus-the-bluestocking?page=1

I wouldn't worry, that poem is so saccharine my teeth hurt!

I saw a post on a thread that I thought was so witty I would share it here.

It was about someone who had been invited to an interview who was told to bring an object from home with her as an aid to describe her best qualities, (FFS) A reply was;

Take a vibrator, as you are always buzzing about and like to get stuck in.

Someone else followed with, and your very self sufficient.

😂

There once was a dachshund called Colin
Who was very allergic to pollen
So he stayed indoors
And did all the chores
And made us a beautiful stollen

I said stollen!!🙄

I've never had stollen made by a Colin before!

Thank you Colin

I've just got round to reading the Sandy Toksvig article 😠

Thank you for the stollen, Colin.

If I need something stronger I'm going to look at pictures of Japanese dwarf flying squirrels. Which, now I come to think about it, could either be a small flying squirrel or a squirrel that flies dwarves.

The smart money is on this one...

Co-pilot!

Welcome to the Bluestocking pub
Here's the menu of all of our grub
I'd go for the stollen
It's made by our Colin
The cost? It's a quick belly rub.

Who's a good boy!

I am in awe at all the poems - what a clever lot you are!

Bonus points for the Tolkien plural of dwarf!

Bluestocking won the Arc yesterday (richest race in Europe); hope some of you were on.

I'm assuming the pub has a telly showing the gee gees, and that there's a bookies next door.

A great victory for Bluestocking, and at 5/1. But as my gran used to say
'Only lambs should gambol, and even they get fleeced'
BTW I spotted this lovely piece of writing on the RTE sports website:
A 5-1 chance, she enjoyed a trouble-free passage in the slipstream of Aidan O'Brien's Los Angeles before holding off the advancing Aventure to land a record seventh Arc for the late Khalid Abdullah's decorated racing operation.

So many facts packed into one perfectly readable sentence. Chapeau! to the anonymous, probably human, writer

<wonders vaguely if 'decorated racing' is a thing, like decorated eggs at Easter>

But otherwise, yes, readable.😀

I got my Covid booster jab today. The chap doing it referred to a delivery of a 'live phial' of the vaccine, and I said 'Oh, that sounds like something JK Rowling would write - Harry Potter and the Live Phial of Vaccine!' .
At that point I noticed his progress flag lanyard, and wished I'd waited till after the injection to make my devastatingly witty JKR-related bon mot..😰
His reaction suggested that he has a sense of humour, and the lanyards were probably handed out by management, and it didn't hurt a bit😄

NOW you tell us!

Reads thread about arseholes putting the family cat on gumtree.

Grabs a double whiskey from the bar and hands to @Bannedontherun

Goes off to cuddle my aging cat!

As you were.

Oh thanks boiled tears were pouring down my face when I read it. I was so sad.

Off to make a curry from the veg in my garden which will cheer me up, as i love a forage.

Sometimes I think maybe I should not be out in the wild MN on my own….

My cat was not best pleased that I interrupted his post tea snooze in the last of the afternoon sun, and may have loudly told me so, but he did accept my forced upon him cuddle!

Why do I keep thinking Lou Reed has been asked to decide what a woman is?

That cat thread really upset me too. 🐈‍⬛️

Some people shouldn't be left in charge of a pineapple.

I'm increasingly grateful that I'm a botanist, not a zoologist. No one has (yet) tried to persuade me that plants have gender, thank goodness. Although after spending a large proportion of today lecturing on photosynthesis, I could do with something to revive the brain and restore the vocal cords.

Ahem.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4926008-kew-gardens-yes-kew-gardens-says-plants-have-gender-not-sex

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4891201-oh-kew-not-you-too

Large whiskey all round then.

Summons a gerbil

I'd somehow missed that, @Chersfrozenface. Make mine a quadruple please Boily.