The Bluestocking is reopening

[ErrolTheDragon]

It's time we reopened the Bluestocking, I think.

This is the FWR pub, situated in the charming village of Badley Fuckitt near the Shady Pines rest home. It has a cannon (for reasons lost in the mists of time), goats in the paddock next to the beer garden and a menu including many soups and cakes. It's open all hours, serving breakfast and tea to all weary women, in addition to being the ideal location to metaphorically drown your sorrows.

Naice coffee ...

Yeah, the pub. We'll both be over later and I'll bring your gravy!

By the way, what temperature do you like your gravy?

Boiling! Obvs!

I'll give you a hand hitching it to the tow bar

Ah. Is it okay for beetles to swim in boiling gravy?

I assume that's how they transition from just ordinary beetles to special, boiled beetles.. just guessing😄

I know this is a long-shot but is there any chance of a separate paddling pool of vegan gravy or custard. I have FOMO and need to escape the hammock for a bit since I've barely left it since the pub opened. I'm exhausted from watching too much Olympic swimming (on my phone) to make me want to do anything energetic, but a wallow would be lovely. Beetles would be welcome of course.

It'll be fine! I survived the summer of '76!

Of course.

I think I'm still coming down from the epic rant that me and my neighbour had this afternoon. It was great but rather intense.

@DrSoupDragonsFriend, would you recommend vegan custard?

There should be a vegan gravy bowser. I arranged two regular and one vegan. If it's not around it should be here in a jiffy.

As for custard, who was in charge of dessert?

Now, just excuse me a sec. <adjusts gravy goggles> weeeeeeeeee!!!

😉

I'll join you in a pool of vegan custard, @DrSoupDragonsFriend . Do you prefer Alpro or Oatly whippable? Perhaps we should have one of each - hot Alpro and cold Oatly, like a Kneipp bath.

Oatly, pronouns twit/twat?

That Oatly?

Sticks fingers in ears and sings loudly ( and badly )

Don't take my oatly away from me please

I've only tried the Alpro which was nice, but very sweet. I think I'd be more into vegan gravy if I had a choice but I'd be very happy to share vegan custard with friends.

Thinking about it though, I'd probably choose Alpro chocolate soya desert over gravy or vanilla custard. I am very partial to CSD. Maybe we need an even wider choice of paddling pools. Alpro doesn't have pronoun problems does it? (crossing fingers)

Can beetles even do backstroke? Don't the extra legs get in the way?

I did once see a middling-sized black beetle struggling in a big puddle in the woods, so got it out on a leaf and deposited it on the nearest shore. It very crossly strode straight back into the puddle and started swimming again. So I did another leaf rescue and put it out on the other side. It seemed much happier and bustled off.

This caused me to think a lot about beetle intelligence, mental mapping and sense of direction. And WHY this particular beetle needed to on THAT side of the huge puddle.

You win! I've had patchwork quilts which languished for 20+ years but 40???

I threw one away, sold another unfinished & two are... er... still with me & the small children I was making them for have grown up. Oops!

The craft group I joined is excellent for completing 30 and 40 year old projects, Everyone admires the work already done, clucks sympathetically about how time slips away, and offers practical, skilled advice. One woman has a lovely cardigan with sleeves a very slightly lighter green than the rest because the original colour couldn't be matched - I think she had enough of the original for the cuffs, so it looks deliberate.

Maybe you could have a branch at the bluestocking.

Lapsed Crafts, would be an excellent idea.

Why did the beetle cross the puddle?

To get to the other side!

Who knew! The beetle must a distant cousin of the chicken!I

I have decided that death by gravy is not the worst way to go , so I either master the back stroke or die extremely happy in gravy!

I wonder how long a Yorkshire pudding would hold up as a lift raft?

This sounds good, except the practical, skilled advice I need is, "Pull your bliddy finger out, woman, & get to work!". I come to the Bluestocking to get away from that kind of thing. Going down a zip wire into a pool of Alpro dark choc dessert is much more relaxing.

About as long as it took to eat it!

Are there any roast potatoes left? I need about one million. I've been thoroughly cancelled and just had a loooooong message exchange with a 'friend' who kindly advised me to re-educate myself and learn more about the issues so I can show that I understand where I've gone wrong, and if I work really really hard to apologise and show that I'm doing the work, maybe some of the people who are bitching about me and pressuring others to fall out with me will deign to talk to me again. I'm ashamed to admit that I'm sat here in tears because it's all so stupid and mean-spirited.