Tunnocks Thread 2

[Boiledbeetle]

The question asked in Thread 1 has still not been answered satisfactorily, and so the quest continues to discover which side of the fence Tunnocks are on or whether they are in fact sat atop the fence throwing Snowballls and Tea cakes at both sides.

I have no idea where the link below will send you. hopefully to the original thread and at the start, but it could be a completely different thread half way through. I'm too full of sugar to concentrate properly!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4847033-tunnocks?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

There once was a venomous shrew
Who didn’t know what to do
She got given a cake ,
when she thought it was hake
and then had a bit of a to do

There once was a now reformed shrew
Who now knows what to do
When on a date,
Have a Tunnocks tea cake
And then have a romantic oo oo

MarieDeGournay · Today 15:39

I'm sure there's a fund somewhere for buying test products, if I identify correctly..

Cripes! That's a big beastie! They live in Cuba and Hispaniola, according to the world's greatest dis information resource! Here's a Common Shrew for comparison!

Iirc I think one of them (solenodon) looks like an Everton mint. Although, that might be a tenrec. I'll check.

Misremembered, the lowland streaked tenrec. Looks like Beetlejuice did a mash up of a shrew and a hedgehog.

My support animal says it is in fact ALL of the above, it's identity is fluid.

Want one! Want one! Want one!

@Boiledbeetle !

Saw this and thought of you

x.com/BestOfDullMen/status/1788099729525461499

I like his style. I'm fairly sure i have the required size tupperware in the house somewhere, assuming I ever have a surviving tea Cake by the time I am also needing to be leaving the house with snacks!

There's a thread over on AIBU asking something like 'Does everybody on here hate men?', and whatever the number of positive responses were, I bet they've been at least halved by this Tunnock-positive idea from - good heavens - A Man.

That said, I'm not sure that a plastic container from a Chinese takeaway is quite grand enough for you Tunnock-worshippers, I imagine you keep yours in Fabergé boxes or jewelled caskets... wait a minute, I think that sentence went wrong at 'you keep yours...'

I urge you all to read the Wikipedia entry on the lowland streaked tenrec.
I'm half-wondering if somebody made it up for a laugh...

The Streaked tenrec will flaunt its quills to scare away any possible predators. When forced to engage another species it will use a rough headbutt in an attempt to immobilize its target.
The lowland streaked tenrec is active both during the day and at night. Its diet is made up primarily of earthworms, but it will sometimes prey on other invertebrates as well. It may be seen stamping its feet on the ground with its fore-paws, an adaptation which is believed to increase earthworm activity for easier foraging
The streaked tenrec has an ability to enter torpor seasonally. However, it is dependent on altitude, age, Tunnock fat stores, and temperature.
The occipital region in this species along with the visceral skeleton are commonly very conservative.
Lowland streaked tenrec - Wikipedia
So basically a lazy quill-flaunting, headbutting, foot-stamping Tory.
Maybe go for a hamster or a puppy instead?

I do like the Christmas themed knitted Tunnocks toppers, Boiledbeetle

I didn't but they are now back in home bargains for £1.09, so it was worth the wait 🥳

Loved the coinage of Post Tunnocks-Squashage Distress in one of the follow-ups.

With all the pre election stuff going on and deciding who gets this woman’s vote- feel the need to have a serious ( massive) stock up on tea cakes, going to need them …

Am tempted to try slowly eating one whilst in a garden hammock ( if I can work out how to get in it without spinning off and keeping a tea cake intact in the hand!)

You've just reminded me to put tea cakes on the shopping. Which has just reminded me I've got until 11pm to sort the stuff that was chucked in my basket to reserve my delivery slot!

Best go sort that right now!

Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clicks the add button many times!

These are sooooooooooo good!

I live not too far away from the tunnocks factory. I'd be there in a New York minute if they did tours of the factory with sampling allowed. Like a greedy version of inside the factory. Also minus gregg Wallace. Which to be fair, is a bonus!

They must employ staff as taste testers surely?

You could get paid to eat chocolate!

INeedAPensieve · Today 17:04

I live not too far away from the tunnocks factory. I'd be there in a New York minute if they did tours of the factory with sampling allowed. Like a greedy version of inside the factory.

Augustus Gloop? Is that you?

They really are a beacon of light in a darkening world:

https://www.thetimes.com/article/c8f253a8-3815-45a5-be64-f9454ec5baeb?shareToken=fdfa4fc96fea385a8777ee8ccfdeee80

Thank goodness for common sense, a shrinking tea cake would send one over the edge when in time of need.
Agree- they are a beacon of light and off now to top up the emergency stocks.

Damn it, I’d just about succeeded in weaning myself off them and now I’ve opened this thread again and know I’ll give in when I shop today.

I've just thought, with a (slight) adjustment to its colour scheme, the lowland streaked tenrec would be very reminiscent of a Tunnocks teacake.

Eat the Tunnocks eat the Tunnocks

EAT THEM

If they would just shrink them a tiny bit it would make shoving them in my gob in one piece that much easier!