A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet

[Boiledbeetle]

For once we can do a thread about a new book where all the writers are actually on this very board!

Some of you know what I have been up to recently, when I can tear myself away from posting twaddle, gifs and sweary words in bigly letters on here, but for the rest of you…

Over Christmas and New Year after the passing of the GRR (Scotland) Bill a thread was started by TerfranosaurusVagina on the Mumsnet FWR board with a poem about Nicola Sturgeon. Eventually on that thread (and a couple of other threads) over 80 poems were written.

Ramblingnamechanger suggested we do something with them to raise funds to help the women of Scotland and whilst Dodecaheidyin was tempted to write to Poetry Please on Radio 4, and ask them to do an extended special for Hogmanay about our poems, in the end it was decided to make the thread into a book.

After much procrastination by me “Under the Duvet of Darkness: Poems written by angry women for angry women because WOMEN WON’T WHEESHT” went live on Amazon on 31st March

https://amzn.eu/d/98aEnJy

If searching on the site you need to:

Select BOOKS as the department and UNDER THE DUVET OF DARKNESS in the search box.

Currently it doesn’t show up in the main all departments search (I don’t know why or if it will, it takes a while for everything to work properly according to Amazon).

Theres also a QR code below which should take you right there (hopefully the attached works)

MONEY FROM SALES:

In honour of Magdalen Berns, who co-founded the Scottish campaign group For Women Scotland, 100% of the profit from the sale of this book will be donated to For Women Scotland.*

*Please note that whilst the profit will be donated to For Women Scotland they are not involved, nor are they responsible in any way for the themes, contents or publication of this book.

“It’s not hate to defend your rights, and it’s not hate to speak the truth.”

Magdalen Berns (1983 – 2019)

Did you not heed any of the warning about offering help? 😁 I may rope in anyone who even so much as hints it!

Just read your poem.😀

I think it's going to be a while so plenty of time for people to fiddle with them.

And ooh yes we will need a second thread. Must keep my eye on the post count on this one. Plus it means I have somewhere to update about sales etc for this one.

Right back to checking e-book full stops and commas!

I gonna have to change the last one. The oven timer went off and I accidentially sent it!

that last line should say.

People see what they see,
but don’t take women’s right to be.

Such is a woman's lot in life!

Ooh eck I didn’t expect to be included, thrilled. I’d better improve my contributions for volume 2

An example industrious beetle on Mumsnet
Published poems by women who don't get
Why a girl is a boy
If she likes the wrong toy.
Volume 2's coming soon? That's a safe bet!

I have no clue how "example" got its way into line 1. Shoot me now!

My biggest bugbear excepting GC stuff is pockets.
And frankly I cant better the poem already written about pockets.

Might have a go at a pockets poem, but itll be ready for volume 30.

OK, so I know I cut the poems off at 100, but... This won't be any use actually in Volume 2 and I've been looking for something to finish finish the e-book so can I stick this in at the end to whet the readers appetite, plus it saves me getting to come up with something witty!

You've just made me think of this cartoon.

Also, I've just read a brilliant book about pockets to my wee one - it's 'A Dress with Pockets' by Lily Murray and Jenny Lovlie.

A sneaky two copies got despatched from an Amazon facility somewhere today whilst I wasn't looking!

And that's why i wore dungarees

And if @TheBiologyStupid doesn't reappear soon I'm just going to assume she is happy for me to do the above. She knows the rules. You leave it lieing around and I will steal it!

If we discount the outraged sound
Of wailing genocidal squeals
Under females the only things round
When a cyclist should only be wheels.

Yes to Vol. 2 from meeeeee

I can't believe my poem is in the extra list for Vol. 1

This is why a large percentage of my wardrobe is mens clothes.

I need pockets. I've a massive bunch of keys, a phone, cigs, lighter, pass, work keys, etc. With womens Jeans I have two small back pockets. With womens shorts I maybe get 2 shallow side pockets.

Mens shorts have like 9 useful sized pockets.

Ffs it should not be beyond clothes designers to create pockets for women.

Waitwhat23 · Today 18:16

You've just made me think of this cartoon.

I can't get the one of the frog off my phone, this may do.

IS THAT A BEETLE IN YER POCKET
ISLA BRYSON
WIGGLIN ITS WEE LEGS IN YER
PINK LEGGINGS
OR ARE YE JUST EUPHORIC
TAE SEE ME?
YER ALLY TILL THE DAY I DIE
CHAMPION O
YER RIGHT TAE SHOWER WI THE LASSIES
YE, INDIVIDUAL
O MANY CHARGES
YE'RE AS MUCH A WUMMAN
AS ANY MAN

I will be back to read the posts above that have appeared but just wanted to say

The e-book is so close it's nearly nearly there! It's literally at the final read through stage.

Remembers i haven't put the post I shoved in my pocket in yet! Bugger.

It's nearly literally at the final run through!

Sigh!

And! And! @FairyKindleMother has offered to do it all again for the second one!

When they were rakin’ fer a razor
It didnae seem to phase her
I suspect the item is hidden and safe
They should listen oot for buzzin’
For when she is defuzzin’
Or else she’ll find them skinny jeans will chafe.

As Isla might ken and will mention
The cause of all the tension
Isnae doon tae what she bought it with and why
When you need a barra’ to cairry
The hair cut fae yer fairy
A strimmer might have been a better buy.

Are you lot trying to get book two into what's left of this thread?

I mean I don't mind knock yourselves out! At this rate we'll be publishing volume 3 in time for Christmas.

Still got to back track and read up thread.

And please for the love of beetles if you rewrite or are inspired by someone else's poem please tell me! By the time you've read them as much as i had to you no longer know if it sounds familiar because you've read it 200 times or if it's because it's inspired by something else!

see you've got the words there more or less...

I need MORE pockets.
I've a massive bunch of keys,
a phone, cigs, lighter,
pass, home and work keys,

With womens Jeans I have
just two small ones on the back
With womens shorts I maybe
get 2 ???

Mens shorts have like 9 useful sized pockets.

Ffs it should not be beyond
The wit of clothes designers
to create more pockets for us women.
Cos we can't store stuff in Our vaginas.

It's obviously not there yet, but it's workable!

Yup, go for it, Boiled. Sorry for the slow reply, family birthday.