A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet

[Boiledbeetle]

For once we can do a thread about a new book where all the writers are actually on this very board!

Some of you know what I have been up to recently, when I can tear myself away from posting twaddle, gifs and sweary words in bigly letters on here, but for the rest of you…

Over Christmas and New Year after the passing of the GRR (Scotland) Bill a thread was started by TerfranosaurusVagina on the Mumsnet FWR board with a poem about Nicola Sturgeon. Eventually on that thread (and a couple of other threads) over 80 poems were written.

Ramblingnamechanger suggested we do something with them to raise funds to help the women of Scotland and whilst Dodecaheidyin was tempted to write to Poetry Please on Radio 4, and ask them to do an extended special for Hogmanay about our poems, in the end it was decided to make the thread into a book.

After much procrastination by me “Under the Duvet of Darkness: Poems written by angry women for angry women because WOMEN WON’T WHEESHT” went live on Amazon on 31st March

https://amzn.eu/d/98aEnJy

If searching on the site you need to:

Select BOOKS as the department and UNDER THE DUVET OF DARKNESS in the search box.

Currently it doesn’t show up in the main all departments search (I don’t know why or if it will, it takes a while for everything to work properly according to Amazon).

Theres also a QR code below which should take you right there (hopefully the attached works)

MONEY FROM SALES:

In honour of Magdalen Berns, who co-founded the Scottish campaign group For Women Scotland, 100% of the profit from the sale of this book will be donated to For Women Scotland.*

*Please note that whilst the profit will be donated to For Women Scotland they are not involved, nor are they responsible in any way for the themes, contents or publication of this book.

“It’s not hate to defend your rights, and it’s not hate to speak the truth.”

Magdalen Berns (1983 – 2019)

I've just received my GC woman version of a Blue Peter badge!! Woohoo ❤

It's the little things that make me happy!

I never did get a BP badge as a kid.

And there's currently 45 copies of UTDOD sat on a door mat outside a front door in Scotland! Thanks Royal Mail! 😑

You deserve a medal, got two

Love that.

Cake/Arcane, they sent me a few of each. I'm currently sticking them on things I take out of the house!

Last month is definitely a one off. This month none have been sold, but then I did ask that people donate to the crowd funder instead!

I have it on good authority as well that usually self published books on Amazon are lucky if they sell 100 in a year. So I think last month is definitely going to be the selling highpoint of this book.

Hopefully though with physical copies available for instant buyers gratification FWS will be able to sell the copies I've sent them. And the good thing there is for the first 100 at least no matter what price they sell them for they will get all of the purchase price.

So whilst id love to see sales on the Amazon dashboard FWS will get more on the ones they sell.

I bought two yesterday to put into book nooks in the towns near me

Thank you @Waitwhat23 . Peaking the residents of your town a book (or two) at a time!

@Boiledbeetle

You've done a really amazing thing here, I'm totally in awe!

@SinnerBoy All done out of the goodness out of my pure heart! Honest!

In truth someone told me to write a book last year. This seemed like quite a good way to do it without actually having to do much actual writing myself!

Although he did say when he saw it, it wasnt quite the book he'd had in mind!

So at some point, in the very very VERY distant future Boiled the stage play, and Boiled the autobiography may appear!

Or not! Most likely not!

Although, the stage play is actually 3/4 done as it has been since about October! And honestly...I've sat through worse plays! I'm currently trying to decide where it ends. So tempted to kill myself off in the final scene!

And the autobiography exists on about 1000 different bits of scraps of paper collected through the years so that could take longer! Maybe somewhere around 2052.

So it's all actually a ruse to set up an existing market for my next venture! If they're ever is a next venture!

Of course if I'd thought about this properly I've have come up with a better/witty name than Boiledbeetle to write under!

And@Waitwhat23 your books have dispatched!

So you're looking for an exits stage left. A spectacular one?

Yup, I think the play should end with the defeat of Sturgeon: "Exit, pursued by a beetle".

I like the ideas...but how do I explain Sturgeon being in the living room of my house?

Ooh maybe she was trying to flog me a campervan and a load of posh pens! But I whip her second hand car salesman mask of to reveal Sturgeon? Sturgeon

Actually, there has been a person upstairs but not seen since the prologue, (I stuck a spare character in at the beginning in case i needed them later). Maybe that could be Sturgeon

No, I think boiledbeetle as a pseudonym is genius. Close to the start of the alphabet, intriguing and reveals nothing about your sex (gender, whatever!)

@thelionthewitchtheaudacityofTHISbitch hmm. Good points! It does have some actual meaning:

Me aged four lying on the pavement one summer afternoon in 1976 (the year of THE heat wave) waving my arms and legs in the air (don't judge I was four).

Sister: What are you doing?
Me: I'm a beetle
Sister: A girl beetle or a boy beetle?
Me: A boiled beetle!

This thread has gone all Shakespearean:

This thing of darkness [under the duvet] I
Acknowledge mine.

The heavens so dim by day [It's Scotland! What did you bloody expect, Nicola?]
A savage clamour! [That'll be Beth Douglas and her wee pals...]
Well may I get aboard! [Your mysterious motor home, Nic?]
This is the chase:
I am gone for ever. [Exit, pursued by a boiled beetle.]

Under the Duvet,
We watch and wait,
We see what’s happening,
We watch and wait,
We see women lose,
We watch and wait,
We see women raped,
We watch and wait,
We see women silenced,
We watch and wait,
We see women mutilated,
We watch and and wait,
Under the Duvet.

Oh what joyous wonders I have awoken to this morning!

Shakespeare, poems..you're spoiling me!

When Iain Banham spoke the truth
It was challenged by Wild Youth
and ‘Be Kind to stabby rapists’ day was made

The backlash was uncanny
And the mealiemouthed wee fanny was spectacularly, utterly dismayed.

See the prize for all their toiling
Was the eurovis shine spoiling
And he didn’t think that that was fair or right

but your song is shite its true
And zarajade’s more chance than you
Of proceeding past a semi Tuesday night.

Apologies for Ian’s superfluous ‘i’
twas an auto carrot 😔

@ArcaneWireless Eurovision poems! That's a whole new chapter category!

Good poem as well!

I keep thinking of the line from Hamilton today

"If you stand for nothing what'll you fall for"

I've never seen Hamilton. In fact I'm probably one of the few people who doesnt even know what it's about!. Must go Google!

In a surprising turn of events having not asked anyone to buy a single copy of the book this month we have sold 7 this month so far!

having not asked anyone to buy a single copy of the book this month we have sold 7 this month so far!

So cool

Hamilton is cool. It is hard to believe anything that hyped isn't over hyped but it is really really good - honest.

Advice (to Hamilton) on how to get on in life (and politics):

"Talk less, smile more. Don't let them know what you're against or what you're for"

plus ca change

😍😁😍