Sick of wholesome activities with your babies?
Is singing too naff and child centered ?
Regret that you can't live exactly the same life you had before you got up the duff?
Got more money than sense?
🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈THANK QUEER WE'RE HERE! 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
With the perfect combination of those really uncomfortable jigsaw mats, bright lights, and a couple of dozen other middle class mums with their over tired babies, you'll feel right at home! We'll bring some GLAMOUR into to your achingly boring existence...... after all you know we do it so much better than you 🐟
Spice up your breast/chest milk with a few 🥂🍼🍾🍼🍷🍼🍸🍼🍹🍼🥂
Goggle 😍 at the magnificent 🍆 that we'll be swinging your way!
Pretend that you're not like the other ◾️mums, with their playgroups and their cups of tea! ,OMG!!! YAWN RIGHT!!! ❌️🫖
Relish in the fact your Insta will FINALLY look cool and super extra virtuous again. Wave those flags mummies 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈!
And remember all your hard earned cash goes straight to the most worthy cause of all! That's right! Us!👄💅👸