AIBU to think naked males shouldn’t be in the women only section of a spa?

[HermioneWeasley]

A different case from Wi Spa in LA. A naked male got into the hot tub with a woman and her 6 year old daughter.

Can those of you who think this is fine, and trans people are an a oppressed minority please explain to me why this is ok, and how we safeguard women and girls from the predators that will take advantage? Please, someone who endorses this please explain why it seems fine to you, because I just cannot see it.

@motogogo

Yanbu for a women's only section but the spa could save themselves heaps of issues buy simply copying Germany, everyone in together, no clothing, saves so much hassle. And never had any issues at all

Someone from Germany will be along in a bit, to say that's not how it is. Happens every time.

@beastlyslumber

Love Gad Saad!

Genital fluidity

@motogogo

Yanbu for a women's only section but the spa could save themselves heaps of issues buy simply copying Germany, everyone in together, no clothing, saves so much hassle. And never had any issues at all

There are single sex spas and saunas in Germany. The mixed sex spas don't seem to admit children.

''the look on her face when two men walked in was priceless though, they both stared at me looked at each other apologised and walked straight back out.''
''After about 30 seconds one of the men popped his head back in and asked “This is the mixed sauna?” our new companion told them it was before either of us could. So while a little embarrassed they both came back in and sat on the benches on the right hand side on the room and at least made the pretence of making eye contact through the steam. Invariably both were wearing swimming shorts and for some reason one of them had decided to place the towel on his lap rather than sit on it.''
mostlyamelie.com/vabali-spa-berlin/

@motogogo

Yanbu for a women's only section but the spa could save themselves heaps of issues buy simply copying Germany, everyone in together, no clothing, saves so much hassle. And never had any issues at all

It’s a Korean spa. I go to a Japanese version, it’s a great way to relax and unwind with various herbal baths, IR saunas and massage therapists. I often go alone but plenty of families too. No clothes, strictly sex segregated.

Would never go to a mixed sex version, so I’d be unable to enjoy it anymore ...

Why should we have to do things the German way because of a bunch of self-important jackasses?

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

No penises are OK to be on a naked body to be slipping into a tub with a 6 year old girl.

I was asking the person upthread who said a trans man would be welcome.

Please tell us just how many Transmen go through metoidioplasty or phalloplasty, and scrotoplasty.

[quote GromblesofGrimbledon]@beastlyslumber

Love Gad Saad!

Genital fluidity [/quote]
Hahaha me too! He has a way of getting to the heart of issues

This should be in AIBU. I assume the OP wanted to put it there for a poll. The fact that it has apparently has been moved means that Mumsnet must be very, very afraid of the results of that poll and what they'll experience after it. I have read the Mumsnet explanation and I'm not convinced. All it does is reinforce the view that the Sex & Gender Debate forum has been reduced to a naughty corner, vulnerable to deletion in future.

I tried reporting one of the Aibu Corona threads, was told no it could stay in AIBU. So it's not a case of moving to most appropriate board for every topic.

Before it was widely known to be a Korean spa, I saw various self-important men on twitter pompously lecturing others on how we all needed to shed our Western conditioning and learn to enjoy mixed-sex nude spas.

Anyone know what the aibu score was before the thread moved?

Guessing highly in support of women's rights because they usually are on this predominantly female website?

I might choose to believe MN moved the thread to preserve an honest score before hordes of anti woman activists were awoken in America to game it to their advantage.

I thought it was 96% YANBU

Someone said upthread that the poll was 96% in favour of reality.

YANBU. I'm not sure what the justification could be that you are.

I reported a few AIBU posts that should arguably be in other topics. Here’s one of the responses,

It seems only my post HAD to be moved, and it’s very important to let posts started in AIBU continue so they can have the results of their poll

@MichaelMumsnet why is it important for other threads not to be moved so they can maintain the results of their poll, but not mine? What’s the difference?

I knew this thread would end up here.

YANBU OP, for the 4% who disagreed, some words.

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Oh the utter hypocrisy and thinly veiled insults because I'm asking questions on here are so typical.

I wasn't ignoring abuse.

I also am not stupid enough to get my news from YouTube and whip myself into a frenzy about it.

Regardless, I was trying to understand why a trans man's penis was ok, nobody has an answer, that's fine. The lack of answer is an answer in itself.

Enjoy winding each other up now

That's a pretty big lie, isn't it? I've read countless posts before this who answer this quite specifically. We don't all have to agree, but at least discuss without obfuscation.

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

I've answered. I said a transman's penis is also not ok. No penis is ok in female spaces. I'm not fussed whether the penis is real or surgically constructed. The owner of said penis needs to take it to a different space.

WHY was this thread moved ?
Everyone needs to see this .

@HermioneWeasley

I reported a few AIBU posts that should arguably be in other topics. Here’s one of the responses,

It seems only my post HAD to be moved, and it’s very important to let posts started in AIBU continue so they can have the results of their poll

Very interesting

I’d say surprising but obviously its not surprising at all

Its incredibly obvious that FWR, or sex and gender as its called now, and its regular posters are under completely different rules

To be fair…and i really like to be fair….different mods have different opinions and red lines themselves. But a degree of consistency would be nice

That's a pretty big lie, isn't it

Huuuuuge!

Please tell us just how many Transmen go through metoidioplasty or phalloplasty, and scrotoplasty.

Hardly any, I hope, given that the operation appears to have very poor results and a high risk of complications.

In any event, as others have said, a transman who had had this surgery would surely be extremely unlikely to choose to go into the women's section. From a combination of wanting validation and the residual effects of female socialisation, I'd expect this tiny group to go to the men's section, and I hope they're safe there.

@whatthejiggeries

I actually agree with *@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult* - I think a transman who has transitioned should be in the make section and a TW who had medically transitioned should be in the female section. No one with a penis should be allowed in the female section. And also I will say that the type of person who would expose themselves like this is exactly the type of person you don't want in a female section because they clearly have no regard for females

This then makes you a transphobe, sorry but thems the rules. All or none. For me it's none, medically transition or not. And seemingly the neo penis is causing issues with whom should be allowed to sit next to a 6 year old in a jacuzzi naked, so no neo penis either, not that transmen are well known for this .

“Most would, yes, but these boards are all about discussing the absolute tiny minority of trans people who do less than ideal things, aren't they.”

A minority of transwomen of course (not sure about absolutely tiny’...or ‘less than ideal’) - it’s also a minority of men who do said things...but they are kept separate as an entire category because of that minority.

Another one who is disgusted by @MichaelMumsnet 's decision to move this from a wider audience. Scared of what it might do to your advertising revenue if the poll was allowed to continue?

Can't imagine we would ever have the mirror scenario of this where a pre-op transman goes to the male section and sits on the side of the hot tub with their legs apart in front of a dad and his 6 year old son.
And this just goes to show that there is more to this 'man'/transwoman than just making a point about going to a single sex space. The power to make someone else feel vulnerable & violated when they should be safe.