Transphobic DD.

[Viennabreathes]

I’m fuming as I type this so I apologise in advance for typos/mistakes.

DD3 came home from school today a bit flustered. I’ve got out of her that her and some friends were discussing trans rights/issues in Ethics today (it’s a compulsory class they take but not an actual GCSE so it isn’t too structured and the teacher lets them debate whatever they see fit if it’s in a controlled manner).

One of DD’s friends said if she was a rape or domestic violence victim she wouldn’t feel comfortable having to share a prison cell or
changing room with a trans woman. A girl in their class immediately stood up and shouted at DD’s friend, calling her a transphobe and telling her that she’s ‘uneducated and completely misinformed’.

DD stood up for her friend and this led into a bit of a debate, from what DD and her HOY have told me, DD said the following:
-‘If you have a penis, you’re a man. It’s simple’
-‘Can you be quiet for a second and let someone else get a word in? You keep interrupting and calling us transphobic to shut us down as you can’t bear us having different opinions’

I got an email from DD’s Head of Year today saying that she has an hour detention next Monday due to an ‘incident’ which happened in this lesson today.

DD was honest with me. This same girl called her a ‘cis girl with no fucking brain cells’, to which DD replied, ‘I’m a girl, not a fucking cis girl. If you think people can identify as trans, I identify as a woman. Not a cis woman.’

Yes DD swore. But after being spoken over and provoked for 30 minutes.

I don’t see why she is in this much trouble and she tells me when the Head of Year spoke to them both, she was forced to apologise to the other girl (if she didn’t, she would have been kept out of lessons with this girl until she did) etc.

My child is not transphobic and frankly, I agree with most of what she said.

AIBU to email her HoY and book a meeting to discuss and support my DD? DH thinks I am overreacting.

Another one for #teamdd.

I wouldn't accept being redefined by someone elses idoleology that I dont even believe in either.

Theres no way I'd let her do the detention. She did well to stand up for herself. Staying quiet and being "kind" got us into this mess. Dont punish those who have the balls to fight this bollocks !

Brilliant post wellbehavedwomen. Thank you.

I'm just sitting here shaking my head - stellar, stellar post from wellbehavedwoman, compare and contrast to the TRA interventions on the thread, single sentence incoherence.

This is why we will prevail, chaps. Might be a while coming, but the case for women is strengthened every time a TRA speaks up and showcases their ignorance.

If it is true, I'd be very concerned about your daughter.

I agree. I would be very concerned that some mini wannabe activist thought she had the right to bully and berate another give for recognising the risks posed to other females by those born with make bodies. I’d be tucking proud as punch of if that was my daughter who stood up for females. Well done for raising a daughter who recognises reality and centres females. 👏🏻

canigetsomesleep

Haha! You're sceptical over a girl being given detention for talking about the trans ideology?

I suppose you're fully on board believing that the police will rock up merely to check your thinking about it, though?

The logic fail of the disbelief that a girl gets detention over this issue, but not a multiple rapist and paedophile being put in a female prison. 🙄

Yes, very concerning that your daughter took part in a discussion in class when the teacher specifically asked them to.

Thank you @wellbehavedwomen

Your DD is fab and if the detention is for swearing then the other girl should also be in detention. I'd want the punishment to be balanced and I'd be having a meeting with the HOY with my daughter present first thing

Yep

@canigetsomesleep - offensive to whom?

Can you post exactly what has been said that was transphobic? Or do you not like the fact a girl stood up for her rights and used facts something that TRA's have the inability to do?

Oh dear. I’ve just realised how many spelling mistakes I’ve made, in that last post. Oh well, it still makes more sense than the sad and ineffectual one liners being thrown at us by desperate and angry TRAs. 😁

Canigetsomesleep - do feel free to go through @wellbehavedwomans post and point out any factual inaccuracies

Alternatively as MNHQ takes a dim view of transphobic posts, do report all that you see.

Can the people who keep saying dd is transphobic confirm that its the ‘if you have a penis you are a man’ comment

I mean I’m assuming it is as thats the only thing she actually said

@canigetsomesleep I'm happy for everyone to be themselves. Men are men, women are women. People can't change sex. Do you believe they can? How does this happen?

Be themselves to self ID into women’s sport you mean so they can take the place of a woman who has no hope of competing with someone born Male?

Self ID into women’s prisons so they can be around some of the most vulnerable women in this country purely on the basis they say they’re now a woman?

I fully support the right of any trans person to identify, dress & live how they want but trans women are trans women not women & they don’t get to take the spaces & opportunities that women fought so hard for

Again please provide examples of the 'hate' you've seen. You're making grand accusations and not backing them up.

I’m still waiting for you to point out the hate and transphobia. Or is talking about the rights of women and girls, and how males who identify as trans, impact on those rights, transphobic? Are we not permitted to have any discussion that centres female fights?

@wellbehavedwomen - thank you so much for taking the time to post all of that information.

I often find it hard to articulate my thoughts on this and also, I am wary of what I read so find it hard to backup my own feelings.

This has given me a wonderful resource so that I can start reading up on FACTS and be a better voice.

canigetsomesleep Where is the transphobia and hate? If you mean women and girls asserting their biological reality then there is something seriously wrong with your post.

And at the same time will you tell those that tell people that are GC to 'die in a grease fire' and threaten them and call them slurs such as t@rf and Cis the same thing? Or say anything to those that celebrate getting a rape crisis centre defunded and nail dead rats to its doors? Will you tell them they're hateful?

That would mean standing up for women and women's rights you know.

@wellbehavedwomen

Excellent post. Thanks!

I was going to say exactly what PurpleCrowbarWhereIsLangCleg but she beat me to it.

Please give your daughter a big hug and tell her that her views are supported.

As a teacher, I know easy it is to bend to peer pressure and I think you should be very proud of her.

Please fight her corner regarding the detention. I would ask exactly why she has a one hour detention and the quote the detention policy.