Transphobic DD.

[Viennabreathes]

I’m fuming as I type this so I apologise in advance for typos/mistakes.

DD3 came home from school today a bit flustered. I’ve got out of her that her and some friends were discussing trans rights/issues in Ethics today (it’s a compulsory class they take but not an actual GCSE so it isn’t too structured and the teacher lets them debate whatever they see fit if it’s in a controlled manner).

One of DD’s friends said if she was a rape or domestic violence victim she wouldn’t feel comfortable having to share a prison cell or
changing room with a trans woman. A girl in their class immediately stood up and shouted at DD’s friend, calling her a transphobe and telling her that she’s ‘uneducated and completely misinformed’.

DD stood up for her friend and this led into a bit of a debate, from what DD and her HOY have told me, DD said the following:
-‘If you have a penis, you’re a man. It’s simple’
-‘Can you be quiet for a second and let someone else get a word in? You keep interrupting and calling us transphobic to shut us down as you can’t bear us having different opinions’

I got an email from DD’s Head of Year today saying that she has an hour detention next Monday due to an ‘incident’ which happened in this lesson today.

DD was honest with me. This same girl called her a ‘cis girl with no fucking brain cells’, to which DD replied, ‘I’m a girl, not a fucking cis girl. If you think people can identify as trans, I identify as a woman. Not a cis woman.’

Yes DD swore. But after being spoken over and provoked for 30 minutes.

I don’t see why she is in this much trouble and she tells me when the Head of Year spoke to them both, she was forced to apologise to the other girl (if she didn’t, she would have been kept out of lessons with this girl until she did) etc.

My child is not transphobic and frankly, I agree with most of what she said.

AIBU to email her HoY and book a meeting to discuss and support my DD? DH thinks I am overreacting.

Should add, Respect to Viennasprog.

Should not have sworn.

Shoud have decked her.

Yawn, we’ve heard it all before:

Talking about women’s rights is “transphobic”
Talking about feminism is “man hating”

In other words, women, shut up and focus on male problems and how you can make their lives better at your own expense.

www.theguardian.com/society/2018/oct/11/karen-white-how-manipulative-and-controlling-offender-attacked-again-transgender-prison

Thanks for posting that, ChangeName5000. Intriguing to read something critical of a TW in the Guardian, October 2018. I wouldn't expect a hint of criticism now.

And yet the poor old Guardian was accused of transphobia by hundreds of its own staff recently, after Suzanne Moore was allowed to write a piece that didn't toe the trans line -- even though the editor quickly 'balanced' it with a mindlessly pro-trans piece by Zoe Williams. It's like a cult.

That makes me realise how terrifyingly fast a purity spiral can develop, even in a workplace. Nobody dares to disagree with the dominant ideology. Those who can't stand it leave. Newcomers are all members of the cult. The 'purity' level gets ramped up and up.

When that takes over a national newspaper, impartial reporting goes out of the window. What a sad place the once-loved Guardian has come to.

Your DD gives me hope OP. And puts me to shame somewhat - I'd be fearful of losing my job if I dared to be so honest. But I will try to learn from her example - she and her friend are heroes and I hope she knows that! It's such a shame that whoever taught that class clearly had no clue about actual Ethics/Philosophy nor the rules of proper debating. It's a subject with such an emotive set of issues that those rules would be very useful in actually moving the conversation forward in a classroom setting (and maybe even elsewhere someday if we were allowed to get a word in edgewise). Of course that assumes that both 'sides' are capable of using logic...
@wellbehavedwomen and others - fantastic post(s). I hope you don't mind me quoting you at my husband, who still doesn't really get it.