Transphobic DD.

[Viennabreathes]

I’m fuming as I type this so I apologise in advance for typos/mistakes.

DD3 came home from school today a bit flustered. I’ve got out of her that her and some friends were discussing trans rights/issues in Ethics today (it’s a compulsory class they take but not an actual GCSE so it isn’t too structured and the teacher lets them debate whatever they see fit if it’s in a controlled manner).

One of DD’s friends said if she was a rape or domestic violence victim she wouldn’t feel comfortable having to share a prison cell or
changing room with a trans woman. A girl in their class immediately stood up and shouted at DD’s friend, calling her a transphobe and telling her that she’s ‘uneducated and completely misinformed’.

DD stood up for her friend and this led into a bit of a debate, from what DD and her HOY have told me, DD said the following:
-‘If you have a penis, you’re a man. It’s simple’
-‘Can you be quiet for a second and let someone else get a word in? You keep interrupting and calling us transphobic to shut us down as you can’t bear us having different opinions’

I got an email from DD’s Head of Year today saying that she has an hour detention next Monday due to an ‘incident’ which happened in this lesson today.

DD was honest with me. This same girl called her a ‘cis girl with no fucking brain cells’, to which DD replied, ‘I’m a girl, not a fucking cis girl. If you think people can identify as trans, I identify as a woman. Not a cis woman.’

Yes DD swore. But after being spoken over and provoked for 30 minutes.

I don’t see why she is in this much trouble and she tells me when the Head of Year spoke to them both, she was forced to apologise to the other girl (if she didn’t, she would have been kept out of lessons with this girl until she did) etc.

My child is not transphobic and frankly, I agree with most of what she said.

AIBU to email her HoY and book a meeting to discuss and support my DD? DH thinks I am overreacting.

Excellent post @wellbehavedwoman. One which I will be sharing with my dd.

... are you implying that all trans women grow up to be rapists?..

Trans women are already grown up. The word "woman" means adult human female. God knows it's on T-shirts and stickers everywhere - you'd think people would've twigged by now.

Also, is it just me but the posts written by gender affirmative people do often seem to be written by someone whose first language is not English? Not a criticism just an observation. But I do notice it a lot. There are some belting examples just on this thread alone. I notice it so much that I sometimes find myself wondering if it's the same person using different aliases. I believe that sort of thing happens on some sites but not here surely?

I have copied that excellent post by wellbehavedwomen just to be on the safe side.

I have copied that excellent post by wellbehavedwomen just to be on the safe side.

And I have collected all but 2 of the links (they are broken)

Bugger! The links won't work from a screenshot. There are quite a few too.

49Viennabreathe said
"which is why it’s quite hard for her to be accused of bullying her classmate (her classmate made this accusation also) and called a transphobe."

She should wear it as a badge of honour as I did when I was called it for saying a six foot bearded man with a penis doesn't become a woman simply because he says he is.
They throw the word around simply to close debate down and it takes real balls to stand up to it in a left-wing environment such as a school.

What a ridiculous statement of course I am offended my the rape of girls, are you implying that all trans women grow up to be rapists? What an utterly stupid thing to say.

🤣 haha! I couldn't agree with you more. God only knows why you brought it up.

WTG DD.

I'd say it's vital you do go ahead and support her in this. Do not accept the school teaching her the lesson that women should shut up and be compliant in their own oppression (and it sounds as though you've done a much better job in this regard than the schoo, who are toeing the party line). I personally choose my battles carefully, but this would be a hill to die on for me.

Sick and tired of being told to be quiet, embrace a subservient position, smile prettily, shove over and appease the patriarchy.

No.

Also, is it just me but the posts written by gender affirmative people do often seem to be written by someone whose first language is not English?

I initially thought it was just poor communication skills. But latterly, I've come to realise that it's presumably not that easy to effectively communicate a swirling mass of incoherent logic fails, with even the slightest hope of erudition.

It’s classic genderist logic here.

Staunch Trans ally: all you silly mummies get so het up about trans stuff, it doesn’t have any impact on you! Just leave people to live their lives!

Op: my daughter is being disciplined, apparently for voicing her opinion on this topic when invited to do so.

Staunch trans ally: you’re making that up.

Classic.

Your daughter is a star.
When I was teaching I loved teaching feisty opinionated students who challenged ideas and concepts and brought such vigour and excitement into the classroom.
So unlike the TRAs who plop on this thread and utter their tired unscientific nonsense and then run away and sulk.
Transwo men are biological males. Get over it.

This same girl called her a ‘cis girl with no fucking brain cells’

My DS had a similar experience when he was in 6th form with a 'lesbian-gender-non-binary-something-or-other' girl who was rather too fond of the sound of her own voice. When my DS (who is an articulate, very tolerant, open minded young man with an inquisitive mind) added something to the discussion that didnt meet with her approval she shouted him down before he'd finished his sentence, saying 'Oh My God! You see, this is what I HATE about straight people, especially straight boys....'

She'll be at university now, no-platforming people far brighter than she'll ever be, left right and centre and causing all her tutors to roll their eyes and turn to the gin.

The sooner this ridiculous phase is over with and overly intense teenagers find something else to froth about the fucking better for all of us.

Some top parenting on your part to raise such a daughter-I salute you.
I would love the opportunity to go in and discuss this with the school. There is no way she should be punished for stating biological fact.

GinandNurseit said.......

"She'll be at university now, no-platforming people far brighter than she'll ever be, left right and centre and causing all her tutors to roll their eyes and turn to the gin."

I've a bit of bad news for you. My daughter's at uni now and her tutors have well drunk the Kool aid. Having seen another girl admonished for questioning gender theory she's learned to keep her head down and her opinions to herself.

I mean Ginandnightnurse sorry 😁

I haven't rtft yet - I just had to post bc @wellbehavedwomen - that wabsa micdrop moment... You literally nailed it!

kudos to your daughter op, she's fantastic!

I feel for GC teens, it seems the only 'safe' option for them is to keep quiet and keep their heads down - at least we as adults women can roll with the punches a bit better, not so easy for young people.

My 15 year old son is pretty GC, we've had a few chats about it and he doesn't believe it's possible to change sex. I very much doubt he'd be given the amount of shit that girls like your daughter are though

wellbehavedeomen that was outstanding work, thanks so much!

My daughter's at uni now and her tutors have well drunk the Kool aid. Having seen another girl admonished for questioning gender theory she's learned to keep her head down and her opinions to herself.

Same bunch of Totalitarian bots who support the chucking out of Trevor Phillips from the Labour party yesterday, no doubt. Dear oh dear, what have we become? When it's no longer permissable to speak the absolute truth because it doesn't follow the doctrine of the cult? Scary, scary stuff.

wellbehavedwomen
I am in awe.
I never fail to be awed by some of the fantastic women on this board.
I do my best to make friends/family etc aware of what is happening. But I could rant for hours. Have also made my feelings clear at work (local authority so bit risky) but most colleagues (male and female) agree with me.
Somehow feel very afraid to do so online - fear of doxing, linking sm accounts etc.
But if I was a tenth as articulate as wellbehavedwomen you would never shut me up!!!

My daughter's at uni now and her tutors have well drunk the Kool aid. Having seen another girl admonished for questioning gender theory she's learned to keep her head down and her opinions to herself.

My daughter's at uni too. One of her lecturers referred to sex, followed by an explanation that he wasn't referring to any of that arty farty gender nonsense. She's doing medicine though so they are probably more gc than other students and staff.

Just wanted to say your DD is a star!

Wellbehavedwoman

Great post and references. Bookmarked.

And yes Op your daughter is fantastic.17 and standing up to bullies.
I'd be proud of her.

My daughter's at uni too. One of her lecturers referred to sex, followed by an explanation that he wasn't referring to any of that arty farty gender nonsense. She's doing medicine though so they are probably more gc than other students and staff.

Dod they put a warning on the door to let the poor vulnerable students know that their lecturer was going to commit literal violence. I hope they put a safe space aside for those affected by that horrible transphobic factual science.

Well done to your DD but oh god this thread has made me realise that when my girls hit secondary and if they hold my same views they might be in for a really tough time.

Damn.