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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Share your experiences of gender neutral toilets

181 replies

Trou · 21/11/2019 21:46

I went into my first gender neutral toilet this week and I have to say I wasn't impressed. As I walked in two young men stared at me as they were spraying water all around the sink area. As I was washing my hands a man came in and started undoing his trousers before he was in a cubicle. Ok not crimes of the century in either case but quite grim. Never experienced these things in a traditional woman's loo. I was the only woman in there so I felt very odd. Going to the loo at work used to be a nice 5 min break to collect my thoughts. Now it's stressful. Not impressed. Anyone else tried one of these new gender neutral toilets and if so what where your impressions?

OP posts:
MidnightCircus · 21/11/2019 22:04

Not tried a 'new' toilet exactly, just drink in a slightly grotty rock pub who doesn't have separate toilets. Can't say I was ever that bothered, but they do get supremely grim by the end of the night. Drunk guys have poor aim...

APerkyPumpkin · 21/11/2019 22:09

We were just discussing this, my OH went to a new office today, asked where the loos were, the receptionist pointed them out, he went in and there were no urinals and so when he came out he looked at the door to see a gender neutral sign. He was horrified that he might have made a female colleague uncomfortable and will not be using those toilets again.

Fraggling · 21/11/2019 22:14


Share your experiences of gender neutral toilets
Fraggling · 21/11/2019 22:16

They had 5 cubicles in 1 room, shared sinks.
2 had woman sign 2 men. Not sure why men got more tbh but that sign says it all.

Fraggling · 21/11/2019 22:16

Sorry 2 woman signs 3 men.

Fraggling · 21/11/2019 22:17

Just realised it says where it is on the sign! Never mind.

MadameGazelleIsMyHomegirl · 21/11/2019 22:19

Man farting and grunting thru thin cubicle wall next to me. Grim.

SheOfManyNames · 21/11/2019 22:24

The only gender neutral toilets I have ever used were single room ones. I've had to wipe piss off the seat, but TBH, I have to do that a lot in female only toilets anyway (I think it's the women who squat....)
I have never seen proper gender neutral multi occupancy toilets. Probably wouldn't use them.

Trou · 21/11/2019 22:24

That sign is very telling. I think I may make a sign about not staring and not undoing your trousers outside of cubicles. I am very disappointed in my first experience of a gender neutral toilet. Just to add I don't mind sharing toilets with men but I do find people staring, unbuttoning too soon very stressful. With the inappropriate staring it just takes you back to all the terrifying times with dodgy men. Luckily I haven't had any previous bad experience with men taking their trousers down too soon but I found it unsettling nonetheless.

OP posts:
BertieDrapper · 21/11/2019 22:30

At a local
Leisure centre recently and the toilets were unisex 🙄

Thankfully the times I used them myself and then again with DD there was no one else in them. But I was surprised the door didn't go ALL the way to ceiling - a smaller gap then usual but still a gap. And having to put the seat down each time! - Envy < not envy!
I'm not particularly OCD about germs but even I find having to touch a public toilet seat a bit rank!

Babdoc · 21/11/2019 22:44

I've only encountered one - at Dundee Rep theatre. I refuse to use such places, so I am now boycotting the theatre. I go to productions in Perth or Pitlochry instead, where they don't subscribe to this woke nonsense. I'm also boycotting
M and S over their mixed sex changing rooms. Vote with your feet - and your money!

HarrietTheFly · 21/11/2019 22:49

I really don't get out much because of limited mobility, but have had one experience of a gender neutral toilet. It was in a restaurant in London, cubicles only and a shared sink area. I felt uncomfortable with men at the sinks next to me and tbh they didn't look that thrilled either. I imagine the ones with urinals as well as cubicles are far worse.

LizzieSiddal · 21/11/2019 22:55

The BAFTA cafe in London- a toilet room for “Gentlemen” and next to it a room which has the symbols for a man and a woman on the door So women have no space for themselves.
If I hadn’t been bursting to go, I would not have gone in on my own- luckily there were no men in there.

Also Pret in my town has all gender loo, you go up the stairs, down a deserted long corridor, and into a room with sinks and then three stalls with loos in them. Again there’s no way I’d go up there on my own, I just use the disabled loo downstairs, which I know is wrong.

GothMummy · 21/11/2019 22:59

I thought unisex toilets were supposed to be single units, eg a lockable room floor to ceiling walls with a sink inside it? Like we have had at hospitals and small cafes for years? I have only experienced that type so far.

Snorlax37 · 21/11/2019 23:34

Yesterday, Taco Bell in Glasgow. They stank of piss.

Share your experiences of gender neutral toilets
Share your experiences of gender neutral toilets
Share your experiences of gender neutral toilets
YHArgh · 21/11/2019 23:57

Namechanged cos I don't want to out myself...

We stayed in a youth hostel recently - I wouldn't stay in a dorm there any more because of them changing to self ID/"gender"-based rather than sex, but DH had booked a family room so I thought it would be OK.

What I didn't know until we arrived was that this hostel had recently had its toilet and shower blocks redone and they were now fully mixed sex. So, shower cubicles that were fully closed off (floor to ceiling walls) but opened out into the mixed shower/toilet block, and toilet cubicles that I think were also pretty much floor to ceiling, but with the sinks in the shared area. I wasn't very comfortable with it, and nor was DH after he was embarrassed seeing a few young women wandering around in towels, but thought I'd have to live with it for the weekend.

Unfortunately on the Saturday night, there was a group of men drinking and getting a bit obnoxious in the bar area. I was up reading till fairly late, then went to get ready for bed and was brushing my teeth in the toilet block near our room, when a big bloke in underpants suddenly came in, staggering a bit and obviously been drinking - closely followed by two of his mates, also much bigger than me and also just wearing underpants. I think one of them muttered "sorry mate" or something, and then the first one went in a cubicle and started throwing up noisily and at length. Meanwhile I was feeling very uncomfortable as I was half blocked in by these big nearly-naked guys between me and the doorway. I finished brushing my teeth and left as fast as I could and went to the toilets right down the other end of the corridor instead as I didn't want to use those ones while they were there. Then went to bed but was worrying about what to do if the DCs wanted the toilet in the night - they are at that age where they want to be allowed to go alone, but no way I wanted DD especially to go alone and find drunk men in pants there.

Later on I had to get up for a wee myself, and decided to go for the nearer toilets as the drunk blokes would surely be in bed by then, only to find the whole floor by the sinks etc covered in liquid, so I didn't hang around to find out what it was but ended up trekking to the further away ones again.... All in all it wasn't a pleasant experience, and definitely not suitable for a hostel which seems to attract a lot of families. I've been meaning to leave feedback/complain, and you have just reminded me, so thanks for that!

Whatsnewpussyhat · 22/11/2019 00:05

There's a comedy club in Liverpool city centre and the toilets are the most disgusting I have ever been in.
No floor to ceiling doors and broken locks. Cubicles spilt male or female then urials are the other end walled off.
Biggest issue is the one long trough style sink is directly opposite the urinals so all the men are queuing blocking the sinks and the mirror reflects through the 'door' opening to the urinals.
The smell was vile.
Nothing at all stopping them splitting the toilets in half and adding sinks to the women's end. No idea if they started separate or were converted.

VaggieMight · 22/11/2019 00:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at poster's request.

FilthyBiscuit · 22/11/2019 00:15

My local pub has 2 toilets downstairs that used to be M and F but are now gender neutral. They have M and F specific toilets upstairs. Most people can't be arsed to go upstairs but people tend to stick to the old M and F toilets downstairs, even though they are not M and F anymore. I usually use the old F toilet but as there was a queue there recently (telling in itself) I used the M toilet and it was RANK. It smelt of shit and there was piss literally all over the seat and the floor. I've never used it again.
Just for balance - I went to a restaurant with a male pale where there was gender neutral toilets and he refused to go to the toilet and said he would never go there because of it. He didn't explain why even after I asked and has told people he works with, who have also said they won't visit because of it.

EmeraldIsle81 · 22/11/2019 00:18

It's an unpleasant experience.
I often do my hair and make up in the mirror at the sink and it's awkward when men appear beside you.
Would be interested to see if men were asked how they feel about sharing toilet facilities with women - I bet they hate it!

enjoyingscience · 22/11/2019 00:18

Fancy black tie dinner at an oxford university venue. Walked to a cubicle at the end of a short corridor, turned to find a guy pissing with the door wide open.

WomanBornNotWorn · 22/11/2019 00:20

We must. Keep. Complaining.

Loudly, often, graphically, preferably with photos, with different content so it doesn't get flagged as repetitive spam, from different email addresses if we have them, and spark everyone we know and trust to do the same.

Gingerkittykat · 22/11/2019 02:06

Concert venue had gender neutral toilets for one event, gender neutral bits of paper had been taped over the men and women signs.

All of the men went to the normal men's toilets, almost all women went to ladies.

A couple of the women went to the gents to try and beat the queues and discovered there was only one cubicle so no time saved, the men didn't like it.

Antibles · 22/11/2019 06:05

It's not too bad round my way at the moment but every time I walk into a women's toilet I appreciate that it does feels like a safe space away from the male gaze. I then think how uncomfortable and threatening it would feel to be in that very same enclosed, tucked away space if I were alone in there with a man. It's not like being in public with men. It's suddenly being alone in private with a strange man.

You are entirely at the mercy of every man's goodwill. Not. Safe.

BillywilliamV · 22/11/2019 06:13

Whilst men stand up to piss, any toilet space they use will always be disgusting!
Here’s a thought though? Maybe if we had been a little more accepting of trans women in female loos, then we wouldn’t have to be sharing with the whole male sex?

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