Share your experiences of gender neutral toilets

[Trou]

I went into my first gender neutral toilet this week and I have to say I wasn't impressed. As I walked in two young men stared at me as they were spraying water all around the sink area. As I was washing my hands a man came in and started undoing his trousers before he was in a cubicle. Ok not crimes of the century in either case but quite grim. Never experienced these things in a traditional woman's loo. I was the only woman in there so I felt very odd. Going to the loo at work used to be a nice 5 min break to collect my thoughts. Now it's stressful. Not impressed. Anyone else tried one of these new gender neutral toilets and if so what where your impressions?

[ResistSexism]

Maybe if we had been a little more accepting of trans women in female loos, then we wouldn’t have to be sharing with the whole male sex?

"If only we'd been nicer then we wouldn't be in this pickle, would we?"

I don't care whether a male person is trans or not. I don't want any of them in my female spaces.

[Pinkpanther473]

@BillywilliamV have you not heard about the sexual assaults on women and young girls in public toilets from male bodied people who were identifying as trans women?
Separate facilities for women is a safety issue

[Pinkpanther473]

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2019/03/16/transgender-woman-18-sexually-assaulted-girl-10-morrisons-toilet-8914577/amp/

[DonPablo]

There's a gender neutral toilet block in one of the buildings I work at. There are also regular toilet blocks. The GN are floor to ceiling cubicles with the basin inside. They're always empty. People still use the trad toilets.

[HeronLanyon]

Somerset house ground floor around a year ago was my first. Hadn’t realised it was both sexes.
All cubicles.
As I was closing my cubicle door a man walked in and went into the cubicle next to me.
The problem for me and why I felt suddenly and sharply vulnerable in an very unexpected way was because these toilets were down a very long corridor and remote from anything else or anyone else.
The realities of how men can (not will but can and do) behave when they realise they are alone with a woman away from anyone in a situation naturally involving undressing was what worried me.
I timed my departure from my cubicle to avoid being in the communal hand washing area alone with him.
Shouldn’t have to feel or think like this.

[Reallybadidea]

Visited one of the Cambridge colleges recently and the men's toilet had been converted to gender neutral. Everyone just treated it as the men's toilet and the women used the ladies

[Sunkisses]

I went to a military museum with my kids and all the loos had been made mixed sex (I refuse to use the awful term 'gender neutral' as they are NOT neutral). There was piss all over the floor and seats of all of them. They all stank of male urine. Hideous. Keep complaining!

[TheProdigalKittensReturn]

A pub near me has one gender neutral toilet, formerly the women's, and one men's toilet. Most men use the men's, because having a dick doesn't mean you have to be one, but there are enough who use the women's instead that there's always piss on the floor, and I now open the door on my way out with a tissue because so many men don't wash their hands.

[lboogy]

I had a transgendered woman walk into the female toilet once. He clearly looked like a man - 5'o'clock shadow etc but dressed as a woman. I was taken aback but I can't say I felt unsafe or had a real issue with it. I was just surprised

I did use a gender neutral toilet and my only issue is men tend to splash, but then women who don't sit down and squat don't bother to wipe up afterwards either. All round, people are gross

[HandsOffMyRights]

Maybe if men had been a little more accepting of transwomen in male loos, then women wouldn’t be placed in danger and have to be sharing with the whole male sex?

Fixed it for you Billy

[TheProdigalKittensReturn]

Also experienced better ones in a very expensive restaurant that were individual fully contained rooms along a corridor with a half wall with lattice on top on the other side. Felt relatively safe as the loos are near the kitchen and in sort of a thoroughfare area so there are staff going back and forth all the time, and they were clear. I'm guessing that's because very expensive and feel sorry for whoever has to pop in every hour or so to mop up the piss from male customers. There are enough of the individual rooms that they could easily have labelled some for men and some for women, but it was in a very woke area.

Once again it appears that policy is being implemented in a way that shields those who're better off from the worse of it, which is part of why out political and mediating classes don't give a fuck.

[Carriemac]

Tate modern yesterday, men's toilet women's toilet and one gender neutral which was also the disabled . Which has always been gender neutral so actually a sensible situation.

[umbel]

Not mixed sex toilets, only a shared sink space, with two separate (male and female) rooms with cubicles leading off it, and even that felt surprisingly uncomfortable when I stepped out of the ladies to wash my hands and there was a bloke there washing his hand (good man!).

This set up is in a school and both staff and student toilets have this set up. I've kind of got used to it now, but it was a visceral reaction that I've have to train myself out of.

[DrPimplePopper]

As a pp said about complaining loudly and often, should we also be praising the companies who are keeping single sex toilets? Praising sounds weird, but hopefully you know what I mean. I know we shouldn't have to compliment places that are just being sensible, but would it help them down the line if their HQs start getting woke, then individual branches have info from us saying this is what their customers prefer?

[BobbinThreadbare123]

Manchester Academy. There for a metal gig, so as you can imagine, there was lots of drinking. They'd put signs up about the loos. Tbh this is quite a few years ago, before I'd started looking at the Feminist board on here.
Toilets were utterly disgusting. Some giggling male idiots in there staring at any woman who came in. Piss everywhere, most of the men who came and went didn't wash hands. I was not impressed.

[ChattyLion]

I hate mixed-sex toilets for privacy, safety and dignity and hygiene reasons. I don’t know a single woman who feels comfortable using them. Please keep on complaining about this!

I don’t like the floor to ceiling type self contained toilets either because too many men don’t treat public toilets with enough respect to keep them clean for other people and I don’t want to have to wipe up their piss, thanks.

Single sex women’s toilets are an actual positive resource for women for lots of reasons apart from just using the toilet. That’s a great idea to praise the venues that have them, I will do that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3203454-What-do-you-use-the-womens-toilets-for?pg=9&order=

Companies seem to be ignoring that Single sex toilets are already gender neutral. That’s because all women are free to express their gender any way they wish to, in there.
If men can’t handle other men’s gender expression in toilets then that’s for the men to sort out between them.
Companies who want to actively support gender non conforming men (and why not) could consider staffing the Gents’ if they are worried about that. Not putting men in with women.

[Honeyhair]

I hate them.

Iberica Farringdon have shared loos with the flimsiest toilet doors and it's so bloody awkward when you pee and there are guys around. Also, doing your make up whilst the man next to you is using the sink feels like an invasion of my privacy. I'm very uncomfortable about this but I can chose to avoid this restaurant. I never had to change sanitary towels and don't use a moon cup but can you just imagine doing that when there are guys right there.

BA has a members lounge in one of their Scandinavian airports. When we were waiting for delayed flights last year, we were stuck in this lounge for several hours. I had to take dds (2, 4 & 7) to the shared male / female toilet rooms. You open the door and there are 3 little loo cubicles. So when my young children were using the facilities, there was a stream of grown, tall stern looking business men coming in, waiting. All the while, I had to help the two youngest with the whole process whilst men were hovering there in the small enclosed space for one of the loos to become available. Why on earth they didn't wait outside or went o the other shared toilet a few feet away, I can't understand.

I have to say that the third time I had to take the dc there, I asked encouraged a middle aged man who entered that the loos were all occupied, that I was helping my young children and could he please wait outside.

He started arguing saying why should he wait outside and refused to leave, so I basically ordered him to get out in my hissiest voice, which he actually did .

He saw me and my family in the lounge later and gave me some dirty looks but by then I had told my husband about it all and when he was throwing me daggers, my husband and I just giggled. I explained to my children that whilst we should avoid being rude that if a man make us feel uncomfortable, we do not have to take it, so that sometimes coming across as rude is acceptable to protect your dignity.

It was clear that the guy was furious. Just why he'd insist on waiting in the tiniest space with three young children using the toilets rather than just outside the door I can't understand. How awkward!!!

I complained to the reception desk of the BA members lounge and they said that other people had complained about the shared male / female loos before and they'd look into it.

[TheProdigalKittensReturn]

That just proves that again, nobody other than a tiny number of people with political motivations wants mixed sex toilets. Men aren't scared of them the way women might be, but they don't want them either, unless they're voyeurs hoping for a convenient opportunity.

[GroggyLegs]

I've kind of got used to it now, but it was a visceral reaction that I've have to train myself out of

Erosion of boundaries much? Women! Swallow that feeling that's kept you & your children safe(r) for millennia, for we must be mindful of others feelings!

I had the joy of 'family' facilities on a campsite in Wales. Some men poo really noisily, it made me gag while I was brushing my teeth, and I felt really unsafe when I had to go for a 3am wee. I appreciate that at that time of the morning, if a bloke wanted to hurt me he could have come in single sex facilities just as easily, but I would have felt so much safer and aren't many assaults opportunistic? I ended up trailing the kids across two fields to the single sex shower block, and I know DH preferred the sex-segregated ones too.

[Trou]

I forgot to say, the cubicles had space at the bottom and top. Didn't feel safe at all. Just want to reiterate I don't mind sharing toilets with men if the behave appropriately. It was just so sad that the very first time I used one of these new loos I felt frightened and stressed. The very first time. Compared with nothing bad ever happening during decades of using the old loos. I will continue using these loos and log in here from time to time, to see if it gets better/ get used to them. To be fair, because this could have been a one off. One more thing. There was a sign in the gender neutral loos saying why gender neutral loos are better, but if you prefer there were old loos elsewhere. But this sign was at the back, inside. Surely this sign should have been on the outside.

[Honeybee85]

I fortunately don’t have much experience with them, but the times I did, I absolutely hated it.

They are dirty, feel unsafe and I don’t want to apply my make up in front of a strange man.

[Cuntysnark]

The Cotswold Distillery have mixed sex loos. Enclosed cubicles but shared sinks. Very clean but I still hated it and didn’t hang around. It made me hyper vigilant which I doubt is something very few men would experience.

[Fraggling]

'Maybe if we had been a little more accepting of trans women in female loos, then we wouldn’t have to be sharing with the whole male sex?'

Women did turn a blind eye when it was a small number who were trying to 'pass'. And we were still allowed to do something if anything iffy was going on ie if a bloke came in at could band together tell him to get out (have done this in club with man hassling a girl) or get security if there was any etc

Then it changed to self id and any blokec who wants in can come, and you can't do anything until they actually break the law which is too late, which was a big change

And now this.

Telling women you made your bed now lie in it is a shitty thing to say.

[Hepsibar]

Yes, I agree with you. I have been in a gender neutral toilet at Victoria Bus Station. It was horrible. The smell. The urine on the floor. The men staring at me. I was v worried for my teen (17) daughter and guarded her loo. I would not use one by choice again.

[Butterisbest]

Maybe if we had been a little more accepting of trans women in female loos, then we wouldn’t have to be sharing with the whole male sex?
If trans women don't feel safe in men's toilets because of Male violence, it's up to decent men to address that problem. Why do women have to lose dignity and privacy