Ham pr disasters 45! …hiding? …undercover?..or ready for the next adventure!

[jeffgoldblum]

still discussing the delightful escapades of our favourite twosome!

I doubt that calendar will sell any better than her fruit slop, regardless of when it appeared on the market.

The gift in day 20 will be particularly exciting ~ some pretzels, the pretzels having been removed by M's fair hand from a bag marked 'pretzels', and decanted into another bag with a handwritten note which says 'pretzels'

I’d check the best before date as knowing Meghan’s attention to detail they probably expire before Christmas

Good game @JuniperJumper

Day 24 will be a miniature marzipan nativity with Harry and Meghan figurines as Mary and Joseph (trans versions because we are from Cali), Archie and Lilibet babies in lying in a manger (because M had two virgin births) and Pula, Bogart and Guy as the ox, ass and donkey (Meghan raised Guy from the dead for this advent season, resurrection being just one of her god-like qualities).

M is great at detail so she won't forget to put a nut allergy warning note in Day 24's window, and, because she loves thinking of every little thing when hosting, a one-shot epi pen in case anyone with a nut allergy finds the marzipan nativity irresistible.

Aren Advent calendars a British thing? I have never noticed them for sale in the US.

I presume the two babies are going to be like Amish dolls and not have faces?

Some marzipan chickens (from Archie's Chick Inn) would be a lovely finishing touch

And the blessed offspring will have their faces appropriately and festively hidden

God, I’m sick of the BBC headlining the Sussex gripes.

You lot are brilliant . I will probably think of an item in the middle of the night .

Day 18 will contain a blow up doll which bears a remarkable resemblance to Oprah Winfrey. When inflated there will be a dramatic pause then the doll will utter the word "What?"

My perinsomnia will have me back at 3am no doubt, so I'll look forward to it!

You are assuming they were ordered for this Christmas not last

The HaMz were the Beeb's most-read article for a while this afternoon so the markling worked in generating clicks

I've lost track of which days we've covered but if there's a spare one it will include a male doll with a change of outfits

When dressed in a pilots outfit, the doll will kneel and say "Thankyou for your service"

When dressed in police uniform, the doll will hug you and say "I know you really tried"

When dressed in African national dress, the doll will summon many other dolls to clap & cheer

When dressed as a private bodyguard, the doll will shove bystanders out of the way and hold a kevlar shield aloft

One will be the New York sky line representing their near catastrophic car chase.
One will be a bridesmaid dress with a wonky skirt.
One will be a dog bowl.

The above items curated with my love language of cynicism and thoughtfully inspired by my bin-storage shed.

Sorry I’ve not been on this thread and I’ve not started a history one yet. I’m not well today (no need to comment on that, I promise! I’m trying to focus elsewhere). I am enjoying following along reading all your posts. I agree that H is really unwell and his security employees are ripping him off.

No faces. Tangled ginger hair. Creased swaddling bands. Bare feet. Mickie Mouse ears. Face-planting in the manger.

The "we want security" tantrum is still ongoing then...

They're nothing if not relentless

No, not for a second!

I’m actually just shocked what awful parents they are, awful. They are willing to ruin A&L childhoods. I can’t even understand why…free security so they can be faux royals?

I'm shocked too. Drawing attention to the school is bad news for all the other children in the school as well. The head will be having to deal with some unsettled parents at the moment.

And being sensible for a nanosecond, I also don’t believe that any of their nonsense is bringing them peace or happiness. They need to just stop.

On day 7, the chocolate will be banana shaped.

Ah no fucking way! That's beyond the beyonds 😡

But what will be written on it?