The Excellent Cats welcome the new year by planning an expedition in search of 'She who must not be named'

[Grumpyoldpersonwithcats]

Carried forward from the previous thread.
www.mumsnet.com/talk/the_litter_tray/5440081-prison-dramas-bands-and-ouija-boards-the-excellent-cats-audition-sing-and-plot?page=1

Lenny however needs a rest before he starts searching.

OMG our beautiful friendship is at an end.
I can't bear ZW.

SURELY I DON'T LOOK LIKE HER OR SOUND LIKE HER?

<<<devastated>>>

Well, admittedly, Helen Mirren is probably closer.

ARGH

She's no oil painting either!

All right…. Pick your own!!! Who should play you, Broon?

You pick someone for yourself first.

I wouldn't pick an old dog for you!

My shitey husband and I always agreed that ZW looked like an unattractive rat.

I'm not sure of his views on HM and I can't find out BECAUSE I HAVEN'T GOT HIS PHONE NUMBER.

HM is 80!

80!!!!!

Marcia Warren would be good as you @EmpressaurusKitty

Ouch, she’s older than my mum! Besides I don’t need to be in the film.

And Helen Mirren doesn’t look 80, she’s gorgeous.

Wonderful news! Next it'll be a little head bump, so little you'll think you imagined it but it will be a huge next step for her 💕

Kirova Good but sad news (how dare she settle in so quickly!) regarding your ex little sweetheart of a foster. Wishing you good luck with bitey thing 🍀

Well if I'm being portrayed by Sid James...
Joan Sims?

And Helen Mirren doesn’t look 80, she’s gorgeous

Hideous. She is HIDEOUS.

You're right. You don't need to be in the film.

I'll be played by Victoria Hamilton and Gizmo's dad can be played by her actual husband (Mark Bazeley) and we can re-enact the scene where DH and I collect Gizmo.

Gizmo can escape and my stupid husband can chase after him, and my husband (not Gizmo) can drown in Loch Long.

Obviously Gizmo will reappear just as Gizmo's dad and me are finishing having sex for the ninth time.

I'll take Gizmo home and report my husband missing three years later.
So in the future, in fact.

For Mrs Grumpy or for Empressaurus?
🤣

Actually if we're having Sid James and Joan Sims, Empressaurus can be played by Hattie Jacques.

The film will be called

CARRY ON CATTING

Ashley Jensen for Broon
Jude law for Grumpy
Keeley Hawes for Empress

I’m a lesbian & I think Helen Mirren is attractive.

Kitty & I would like cameo roles. She’s going to zoom up on her skateboard & knock your H into Loch Long. I’ll play the Loch Long Monster, which then eats him.

Fucksake is there a conspiracy going on?

Ashley Jenson does my head in. All the fake lips and the face-lifts!

Title suggestion
As good as gizmo gets

History is silent on the existence of a Loch Long Monster.

I really would not mind being played by Ashley Jensen 4 years younger than me me an good taste in coats
Who do you want picky one?

Doesn’t mean there isn’t one.

Carry On Catting is currently the working title.
🤣

And possibly the next thread title, too.

At least all the cats can play themselves!

Anyone except Zoe Wanamaker, Helen Mirren and Ashley Jenson.

And not Marcia Warren either.

Or Joan Sims/Hattie Jacques/Barbara Windsor et al.

I think this film has the makings of a box office hit. Move over, Wuthering Heights.

FC2 (who ominously, has been named after the devil himself) has been friendly so far. Very keen on washing me (am I dirty?) and likes to have his head scratched, but no biting yet (although I've got DD to keep a distance!). He is huge though - they reckon he's about a year, so he could even get bigger. He was found straying in St John's Wood - very upmarket - and he has a huge and very fluffy tail like a massive feather duster.

FC1 is still desperate to get outside. (I actually cheated and let her out briefly a couple of times after her op.) I wonder if she's going to realise that she's moved literally next door when she does start going out... It's about 30 secs travel, as the cat climbs.