MAFSAUS Thread 5: Delusions, Gaslighting, Icky Dickie, The Lobsters, Byron Bust Ups, Revelations, Secrets, Smacked arses, flirty hairdressers, drama queens, tantrums, nipples and a partridge in a pear tree….. (NO SPOILERS)

[browneyes77]

Get your nipples to take several seats, because here we go again!!

If they weren’t on camera she’d be shouting at him that he’s wrong.

I swear men are so easy to please. "Just hold me". 🙄

Has he asked her to stop seeing her ex?
I would think that is the most obvious change needed.

This time we've added the aspect of pure hatred for one another in a room. In the exercises the producers will encourage bickering and insults.

I love Lauren 🤣

A leprechaun with a top knot that shops in the kids' aisle. I'm done. 😂

Lauren on fire as per usual.

Tori sitting there ok to have him say after almost 2 months he’s still not physically attracted to her… ok luv 👍🙄

Was that question directed to Tori? Is she not allowed to answer for herself

Shame she's not asking the original questions

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jayden coming for Sara with the questions like an assault rifle 😂

I know. I don't like her but it's a bit much.

Jack really doesn't want to have sex with Tori. I really hope he doesn't shag her soon just to shut everyone up.

Tori focusing on having kids with this dude. She must be utterly hijacked by her hormones.

I'm gutted that Lauren didn't ask if he realises he'll have to sleep with Tori in order to have kids with her.

Out of tall the women I think Tory is the most physically attractive. She is very pretty so it's weird Jack isn't attracted to her?

Poor Cassandra, Tristan is just not attracted to her, because he’s gay but can’t admit it. There’s no couple connection at all. Hope old Tim is ok with it when his “ son” comes out
Tori is a lot less smug since she realises no one is falling for her we are a power couple story.

She looks really pleased, I think he only said it to shut Lauren up and make it look like he was committed to Tori

Why have none of the blokes brought up what Jack said at Byron Bay - that he was 100 per cent NOT in love with Tori?

She is very pretty. I suspect Jack's usual type of more along the lines of a blow up doll though. Fake tits, plumped lips, zero body fat.

Do steroids affect your sex drive and sperm quality/quantity?
(Sorry if anyone is eating their tea or Mafs snack)

She isn’t a gym bunny. I think she’s a bit fleshy for him. In other scenarios I think he would have included her in the whale comment. She’s a perfectly normal weight but so is Tristan.

I have three theories on this;

A) Either he thinks she's a Whale because she's not a surgically enhanced gym bunny.

B) Old Mumsnet favourite: porn induced Death Grip has rendered him unable to get a rise out of it for an actual Woman.

C) The 'roids have rotted his cock clean off.

Just to take your minds off Jack's nether regions, I will confess I have accidentally eaten a big bag of Thai Sweet Chilli Ridged crisps from Aldi.