Never Gonna Kyiv You Up: Grand Final Eurovision 2017

[SuffolkNWhat]

Welcome one and all to the Grand Final thread!

Put up a chair, grab your blue cocktail and join us for an evening of dancing gorillas and loads of red and white outfits.

The running order of the Grand Final of the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest:

1. Israel: Eye Candy
2. Poland: First Aid Kit Dress
3. Belarus: Boat Wind Machine and Sticky Back Plastic Guitar
4. Austria: Lee Ryan in Dreamworks
5. Armenia: Hyundai Bollywood Dancers
6. The Netherlands: Talent Contest Rejects
7. Moldova: Epic Sax Guy Solo
8. Hungary: Sgt Pepper's Rapping Gypsies
9. Italy: Dancing Gorilla

10. Denmark: "Danish" Traitor with a Massive Gin and Red Dress 11. Portugal: Singing Werewolf in his Dad's Suit 12. Azerbaijan: Goth, Ladders and scary Horseman 13. Croatia: Go Compare Pavarotti Man 14. Australia: Bush don't come cheap, buy him some socks 15. Greece: Wet Underwear in a Paddling Pool 16. Spain 17. Norway: Darth Punk 18. United Kingdom: Whole Lotta Gold 19. Cyprus: Fair Isle Sequins and Gravity 20. Romania: Yodelling Taylor Swift and Her Massive Glittery Cannons 21. Germany: They really don't want to win 22. Ukraine 23. Belgium: All Alone in the Rabbit Headlight Zone 24. Sweden: TopMan ad. Too Frikkin Beautiful to be Dr Evil 25. Bulgaria: Bieber Untouchable Child 26. France: it'll be in French.

A huge thanks to RedToothBrush for the summaries on the last thread and GinSwigmore for the thread title.

*Kanye

He's the drummer I think

Hiya everyone, I'm having a solo Eurovision party.

Pizza's here! 30% Eurovision discount, it was rude not to!

Pizza's here! 30% Eurovision discount, it was rude not to!

I think 5am is too early to start drinking so I've got a strong tea.

I'm already worried about the German entrant 's dress.

Woohoooooo! It's time! I'm rooting for Belgium (and have some Aldi Hoegaarden in homage- even though it's actually French. C'est cheapskate)

DS has a non-alcoholic blue lagoon (lemonade + blue food colouring)

Hello - me too. I passed up on a Eurovision weekend away!

ooh, that is a very spangly jacket.

will Timur stick around this time? Or disappear like the semi's

Oh- he's off....

Different shaped glasses so they don't get mixed up

These lot are pretty dull aren't they?loving Graham's snarking.

Graham is so right. Alex really is the 'allo 'allo Police man.

I'm joining the party... shall be hiding in extra flashy bits in mumsnet.
Love Graham humour

Presenter: ref to the Green Room "See you on the other side"

GN: " Is he dead?"

Starting with the eye candy

Hello Mr Israel! Douze points.

Just signing in. Graham's not wrong about the quality of the hosts. Having to watch sober as very pregnant.

i remember him now. He was last on the other night. For some reason, his ears disturbed me.

The dc's are looking forward to the yodelling.

OH is huffing about being made to watch 'this shite'. I bet you a few beers bit later he'll be offering earnest critical appraisals of each song.

Ouch Israel, there's a note in there somewhere.

Meh......

Crowd seem more upbeat tonight, definitely more UK flags

def. douze points material.