Never Gonna Kyiv You Up: Grand Final Eurovision 2017

[SuffolkNWhat]

Welcome one and all to the Grand Final thread!

Put up a chair, grab your blue cocktail and join us for an evening of dancing gorillas and loads of red and white outfits.

The running order of the Grand Final of the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest:

1. Israel: Eye Candy
   
2. Poland: First Aid Kit Dress
   
3. Belarus: Boat Wind Machine and Sticky Back Plastic Guitar
   
4. Austria: Lee Ryan in Dreamworks
   
5. Armenia: Hyundai Bollywood Dancers
   
6. The Netherlands: Talent Contest Rejects
   
7. Moldova: Epic Sax Guy Solo
   
8. Hungary: Sgt Pepper's Rapping Gypsies
   
9. Italy: Dancing Gorilla
   

10. Denmark: "Danish" Traitor with a Massive Gin and Red Dress
11. Portugal: Singing Werewolf in his Dad's Suit
12. Azerbaijan: Goth, Ladders and scary Horseman
13. Croatia: Go Compare Pavarotti Man
14. Australia: Bush don't come cheap, buy him some socks
15. Greece: Wet Underwear in a Paddling Pool
16. Spain
17. Norway: Darth Punk
18. United Kingdom: Whole Lotta Gold
19. Cyprus: Fair Isle Sequins and Gravity
20. Romania: Yodelling Taylor Swift and Her Massive Glittery Cannons
21. Germany: They really don't want to win
22. Ukraine
23. Belgium: All Alone in the Rabbit Headlight Zone
24. Sweden: TopMan ad. Too Frikkin Beautiful to be Dr Evil
25. Bulgaria: Bieber Untouchable Child
26. France: it'll be in French.

A huge thanks to RedToothBrush for the summaries on the last thread and GinSwigmore for the thread title.

[Calyx72]

Harry Stiles

[OublietteBravo]

Oh, the fans don't seem to be on tonight

[dillite]

Oh my cod! They have shabby shat all over the guitar!

[SuffolkNWhat]

Just fast forward the promo Golden

[PurpleDaisies]

Loving the Belarusian on the subtitles.

[Akire]

This is Danceable after few drinks

[NoisyBrain]

These two think they're the Lumineers or some other similar folk-y combo

[SuperBeagle]

Nothing like doilies on your guitar and guitar.

[RedToothBrush]

I like this one as its uplifting and fun...

and white frilly pointless props

[Calyx72]

I like this song!

[Vroomster]

This ain't going to win.

[SuperBeagle]

And face* Jesus, sometimes I English well but sometimes no.

[Raahh]

The fans arent moving!! clearly health and safety decided it was not a risk worth taking

[SuffolkNWhat]

Oh, the fans don't seem to be on tonight

Let's hope for a power outage to the treadmills mid song

[wowfudge]

That guitar idea could catch on. One for the Facebook selling pages.

[RedToothBrush]

Cheers!

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

I've been banned from subtitles, apparently we have to watch it as it is.

[Lweji]

Placemarking to support the Werewolf. National pride obliges. :)

[Vroomster]

Almost yodelling.

[ineedaholidaynow]

Did I mishear the name of one of the judges?

[Dolly80]

Hello everyone. I've let my daughter stay up to watch a bit and she loved Poland, based on her school friends mum being from there....least it wasn't on the quality of the song!

Does the Belarus song have any lyrics or mainly pop yodelling?

[NoisyBrain]

Snogging!

[PurpleDaisies]

Liking this one. I think the chorus will be stuck in my head for a while though.

[PestoSwimissimos]

Can't stand the Belarus offering

[Redcrayons]

I like this one, and I don't usually like them when they don't sing in English.