Should I return my 12 year old's mascara after breaking my rules?

[PeppyEagle]

Recently I bought my 12 year old daughter a black mascara the one condition I had was she was not allowed to wear it to school. This was the first time I had bought her makeup other than lipgloss.She has started wearing it to school and I took it away from her because she did not follow the conditions of not wearing it to school. This was a few days ago and she is a bit mad I have taken it from her. She has apologised and asked for one last chance. Should I give it back to her?

Oh my god, you are micromanaging. Give her the mascara. If she wears it and gets into trouble at school it's her issue and she'll have to deal with the consequences. Let her grow up a bit.

I don't understand the issue with mascara, unless there would be sanctions at school (there should not be but some schools have excessive rules).

Agree with others let her start to make her own mistakes, it's hard sometimes but otherwise she'll never learn and she'll hide things from you.

I expect most of not all the girls in her year group wear it teenagers are very tribal so I'd cut her some slack she probably felt stuck between a rock and a hard place.

If you are going to relent perhaps speak to her explain that you are learning how to parent a teenager and go from being in charge to letting her find her own way and sometimes you'll get that wrong but if she speaks to you and explains her thinking around something you'll always listen.

Then discuss why she went against your rule and how you'll both manage when something else happens that way you'll have used it to improve communication between you.

Mascara at 12?

It’s mascara not crack!

wow way too strict!

Why have you imposed a weird rule about when she can wear mascara?

School rules

I would get her a clear mascara that can be used to smooth down brows and add length to lashes and other ‘no makeup’ makeup products for school.

I would also give the mascara back.

Mine sometimes wears it to school. One time she came home looking like a panda as it had rained and she must have got wet.
I just laughed and said you’ll have to be more careful or you’ll get a detention!

It’s mascara. Not smoking or something. You won’t be the one sitting the detention.

Have you met any 12 year olds?

It’s fine OP, this is not a hill to
die on, give it back, let it go.

compromise on brown mascara. Try the elf one with the green lid. No flaking it’s lovely

And she is 12. Not even a teenager. Stick to your guns OP, you are the parent and you set the rules.

I used to wear mascara at 12 to school but our school was not very strict on uniform. One of my friends is a TA at a Middle school (ages 9 - 13) so spends a significant amount of time trying to persuade girls to remove their makeup, which can be difficult when they are crying for hours as they feel so insecure without it.. my friend is confident without makeup but i understand those girls as I used to need makeup to help me feel more attractive & confident.
I actually get my naturally blonde brows and lashes tinted at a salon now for £14 each, could that be an option for your daughter OP?

I'd give it back if she is saying she's learned and will now follow your rules. She's 12
and shouldn't just get to disregard your rules with no consequences. Some people think you're being mean, as I can see, but for me no one has a human right to wear mascara and you had a good reason for your rule.

She is 12 not even a teenager correct however OP allows her to wear mascara (just not for school)

i let one my DDs wear a cleat mascara to school. She had fair eyelashes and it gave her confidence.Twelve year olds are conscious of their looks and some of them can make unkind remarks.

The OP is the one who bought the mascara.

My teenager dyed her hair early in the holidays. The other day she re dyed some strands and I said if you get detention or sent home you’ll lose your phone for a week. Let your kid face the consequences but don’t micro manage

My daughter died some of her hair. For some reason at her school false lashes / nails are a no no but you appear to be allowed any colour hair you like…..

the one condition I had was she was not allowed to wear it to school

What's the point of making it conditional if you are not going to enforce that rule?

Yes I know.

Again, I know.

Op I had bought my 10yr old some mascara and blush for a wedding that she was going to and I wouldn’t be with her. She started then experimenting with applying it and buying lip glosses whenever she got the chance. She also tried to wear it to school. I had a chat and said I was fine with occasional make up for events but she was too young for it daily. She kept doing it so I made the rule that she had to ask me if it was a suitable time for it before she could wear it, or I’d remove it all. She’s now following it, and asking at sensible times. Still weirdly obsessed with make up. I’m interested if pps think I’m micromanaging also, with her being 10? Where is the line?

If you are happy your DDs apology is genuine, give her a last chance.