Should I return my 12 year old's mascara after breaking my rules?

[PeppyEagle]

Recently I bought my 12 year old daughter a black mascara the one condition I had was she was not allowed to wear it to school. This was the first time I had bought her makeup other than lipgloss.She has started wearing it to school and I took it away from her because she did not follow the conditions of not wearing it to school. This was a few days ago and she is a bit mad I have taken it from her. She has apologised and asked for one last chance. Should I give it back to her?

I have 12 & 14yo DDs, they will definitely push rules so instead of taking a daily fight on I have put it back on them. I’ve told them that school don’t allow makeup, false lashes, phones, rolled up skirts etc.. I want them to follow the rules but if they don’t they deal with the schools consequences. They have been told that if their phones are confiscated for breaking rules we won’t be giving them back when we get them back off the school, same with makeup, we will happily tell the school they have our permission to throw it away. Any detentions they get as a result of rolled up skirts or other rule breaking they will get an equal punishment at home. The schools consequences offer incentives for rule following and good behaviour so every negative they get reduces their rewards chances.

As an alternative you could tell her she can wear clear mascara for school.

Let her wear the mascara fgs.

Not at 12. It'll ruin her eyelashes with the harsh chemicals used.

Crikey, this takes me back!😄
we used to use the old block mascara ( iykyk) where you were supposed to use water to moisten it… or some of us would spit in it! We all used Miners brand, in the brown, and got away with it! My bestie pinched her Mums Max Factor tube mascara and got sent to wash it off “ immediately”🙄
As PPs say, if she won’t be told, then let her suffer the consequences🤷‍♀️ we all learn eventually

What utter rubbish. Where do you get this information from?

Exactly! I’ve worn mascara since I was 12. My eyelashes are absolutely fine

OP - assuming the no mascara to school is because they aren’t allowed at school. Pick your battles, if she knows she isn’t allowed it at school then let her have the mascara, if she chooses to wear it school that’s on her and if gets pulled up on it, that’s her issue, let school deal with it and she won’t do it again 🤷‍♀️ You’re creating a mountain out of a molehill.

Honestly it’s not a rule I would have put in place in the first place because the school have their own rule, they are allowed to wear natural coloured mascara (so they colour of natural hair, no blue or green etc but black/brown was fine), I’d have advised school rules need to be adhered to but other than that being 12 means you need to learn consequences.
Obviously the consequences for your rule being broken has meant that she’s had it confiscated and now that it has you need to follow through with what you’ve said. Which will either lead to her being frustrated, sourcing it herself and going behind your back or she’ll just adhere to it.
Why did you set the rule? (This is not a sarcy question!!) is it because you think she’s ’too young’ to be wearing it? Is it something else? The reason I set rules as a parent is primarily safety but I can’t see what’s unsafe about wearing mascara (which is why it’s not a rule I would have set, your reasons may be different).
Sometimes when arbitrary rules are set it causes drama where none is needed.

This is ridiculous. Ffa OP, parenthood is long.

Ha ha ha that's ridiculous.

FGS. You sound very controlling, sorry.

FFS. Poor, poor kid.

We don’t live in Tudor times any more…

Are you OP with a different account? There is nothing to suggest here that it is due to school rules.

Yes, you should give her another chance.

No mascara for school.

DD keeps mascara in a certain spot and she asks you when it is approprate to wear makeup.
.
You need to teach her how to apply and how to remove and how to clense her skin. Remind her to apply moisturising sunscreen a sun hat and sunsmart matte lip gloss each day.

Surely she will just borrow her friends and put it on at school?

Or nick one at Boots.

Does it have to be matte?

What sort of sun hat each day during autumn/winter?

It's mascara what's the big deal. @PeppyEagle do you wear mascara at work or going out because it makes you feel more confident? Let your Dd wear it and if she gets told off so be it, she will deal with it and it won't ruin her education. There are fights worth fighting, this isn't one of them.

No? Its fucking obvious 🙄 dont wear it to school usually means its against school rules

I’m absolutely sure I’ve read this exact thread on here before, down to the first few replies.

Then why point out she is 12? My comment was so someone who obviously thinks 12 is to young to wear mascara

I pointed out that she was 12 as she has flouted the rule regarding the mascara and now needs to deal with the consequence of that. She is a child.

Which I agree with but the poster I responded to implied the 12 year old shouldn’t be having it at all because of her age

Gosh who cares if she wears it to school. If it’s just a bit of mascara . Different if she went in caked in make up. This is a bit ridiculous