Should I return my 12 year old's mascara after breaking my rules?

[PeppyEagle]

Recently I bought my 12 year old daughter a black mascara the one condition I had was she was not allowed to wear it to school. This was the first time I had bought her makeup other than lipgloss.She has started wearing it to school and I took it away from her because she did not follow the conditions of not wearing it to school. This was a few days ago and she is a bit mad I have taken it from her. She has apologised and asked for one last chance. Should I give it back to her?

😂

Do you live in the real world? Do you have tween or teen girls probably not.

Also there is mascara and then ether is mascara.

OP, give it back to her and let her be a tween/teen. If she gets pulled up at school, she can deal with the detention. Around here most girls have a bit of mascara from year 7 or 8 and no, they are not all chavs.

Make up was banned at my school. We still wore it.

It’s not whether it’s mascara or crack cocaine, it’s the fact it’s not to be worn at school and parents instead of reinforcing school rules and boundaries, seem content to let their children fragrantly disregard rules.

If a CHILD can not go a few hours a day without mascara, god help us all.

So you didn’t follow the rules, got it.

This cannot be serious? It’s mascara!! Give her it back and let her wear it when she wants to. It’s not harming her or anyone else. Ur creating stress for u both for no reason

Not if they had no actual purpose no.

I'm not a fan of rules for the sake of rules.
I understand, appreciate and accept a sensible rule is no jewellery around the neck because it can be lost/broken/caught up in machinery. Likewise no dangly earrings, and none to be worn when cooking or doing science or PE.
I understand why long hair should be tied back, particularly as above.
I understand and appreciate that shoes should be practical and should provide safety for the feet.

I fail to see how what colour someone's hair is, or whether or not they're wearing make up affects their ability to participate in a mathematics lesson, or write an essay about Shakespeare.

There was a discussion recently on here about school telling pupils they should wear dark coloured winter coats. Again, a pointless rule. Road safety is far more important than portraying a 'brand'. No employer is ever going to dictate to you what coat you must wear to travel to/from work.

Christ you're weird

And the world continues to turn.

Don’t be this horrible op. Give her the mascara. Let her wear it as she pleases and think about your behaviour.

I know loads of 12 year olds (my daughter is 12) and none of them wears mascara.

What on earth are we doing to young girls that they are crying because they feel insecure without make up. What a sad state of affairs.

He did what?! 😳

Exactly.

It is so sad and worrying to me that girls in their early teens feel that insecure without make-up.

Rather than buying them make up and posting laughing emojis, maybe parents should do more to build these girls self-confidence and help them understand that there is nothing wrong with their natural looks in the first place.

It is so disappointing that so many of the women commenting here cannot see that.

If they feel they need to cover up perceived flaws when they are that young they will turn into even more insecure women who think that their only value is in how they look.

Social media filter, plastic surgery, botox...everything seems to be designed to tell women and girls that they need to cover up, tweak and generally 'fix' themselves to look pretty and buy more products so they can be happy.

I think we are going backwards when it comes to feminism.

Jeez oh that’s harsh. Micromanaging no use. Thing is tweens feel incredibly self conscious. With pressure these days even stunning young ones often feel ugly, insecure and not good enough. A little bit mascara if it helps her get through the day and feel better is nothing.

All good points but which do you think matters more at 12? A philosophical discussion about societies pressure that women correct themselves or feeling less bad at that particular moment? That feeling is what will make her a warrior hopefully one day, but don’t underestimate how awful it can feel for a young girl at secondary school and for lots of reasons. Anything that makes that transition and journey a little easier along with outlining the bigger picture is ok in my book.

I've been wearing mascara for nearly 30 years and my eyelashes are in perfect condition. What are these harsh chemicals you are talking about?

No it was funny and certainly not stupid. It got the point across about your over the top post.

Amish?

I would assume good parents.

Nothing says good parenting like policing a 12 year old’s mascara and surveying mascara use in their peer group😁

If you what I'd quoted from.....I meant DYING her eyelashes. NOT mascare-thats fine OBVIOUSLY!! Seriously. So many people ready to attack take you down on here. Like a load of vipers you bite so quickly 🤣😂😅🤣

My friend used to have her eyelashes dyed and at a salon and the therapist said that she had to break from having them done regulalrly as the chemicals were making her eyelashes brittle. Imagine that on a 12 year old.

If you don't already, you should go to work without any makeup on in solidarity with your daughter. If you can't do that, you have to ask yourself why.

Is OP also supposed to abstain from alcohol because she doesn't want her 12 year old to drink it? We have different rules and expectations for children and adults, for good reasons.

Make sure she removes it at night time with an appropriate remover otherwise it'll end up on her pillow and in her eyes . Waterproof mascara is a blighter , tubing mascara comes off with water.
Make sure it is disposed of after three months, mascara is renowned for being bacteria breeding grounds
If she wants a more subtle look , brown or brown/black

My DD got a cartilage piercings at 15 ( I found a piercer who would do this with a needle in sterile field. I'm not saying she'd have done it herself with a dart and a cork ). I said if the school kicks off she needs to remove it.

In what way is drinking comparable to a bit of mascara?

We absolutely should be conscious of how much we drink around DCs. If a 12 year old starts sneaking a hip flask into school because they want to be like their role models at home, then those adults need to completely abstain from alcohol.

If OP believes makeup is harmful and if she wants her daughter to feel like she doesn't need to wear makeup, she and the other adult women around her need to set an example and go bare faced. As its stands, most of us wear at least some make up so OFC teenagers want to do the same. What good reason have we got to stop them?