Page 3 | Should I return my 12 year old's mascara after breaking my rules?

PeppyEagle · 2026-09-05T20:06:32+00:00

Recently I bought my 12 year old daughter a black mascara the one condition I had was she was not allowed to wear it to school. This was the first time I had bought her makeup other than lipgloss.She has started wearing it to school and I took it away from her because she did not follow the conditions of not wearing it to school. This was a few days ago and she is a bit mad I have taken it from her. She has apologised and asked for one last chance. Should I give it back to her?

Lemonfrost · Today 08:32

Coconutter24 · Today 08:31

Which I agree with but the poster I responded to implied the 12 year old shouldn’t be having it at all because of her age

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But it's by the by because she does have it!

queenofthebongo · Today 08:38

BusterGonad · Today 02:57

What utter rubbish. Where do you get this information from?

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This was referring to the dyes and tints…

queenofthebongo · Today 08:39

Theunamedcat · Today 07:23

No? Its fucking obvious 🙄 dont wear it to school usually means its against school rules

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The OP literally said it was due to the school rules in her 2nd or 3rd post.

anonymoususer9876 · Today 08:42

I’ve read half way through and I’m despairing that so many parents are not backing the school rules (I am assuming OP has set the boundary due to school rules). As someone who works in a primary, we see this start at age 9 and by year 6 it’s a daily battle. And their parents don’t manage it due to ‘pick your battles’ ie parents don’t want to deal with the fallout at home so push it on the school to enforce.

Parents, please, set and enforce the boundary at home. You agreed to the school rules when you signed up to the school. It’s much better if we work together on this. Your child is testing boundaries and we all work together to hold them.

beaglescurleduplikebagels · Today 08:43

anonymoususer9876 · Today 08:42

I’ve read half way through and I’m despairing that so many parents are not backing the school rules (I am assuming OP has set the boundary due to school rules). As someone who works in a primary, we see this start at age 9 and by year 6 it’s a daily battle. And their parents don’t manage it due to ‘pick your battles’ ie parents don’t want to deal with the fallout at home so push it on the school to enforce.

Parents, please, set and enforce the boundary at home. You agreed to the school rules when you signed up to the school. It’s much better if we work together on this. Your child is testing boundaries and we all work together to hold them.

Edited

Maybe schools shouldn’t have such bizarre and pointless rules 🤷‍♀️

Our local secondary allows make-up, dyed (natural coloured) hair and piercings and somehow not one single child has imploded or suffered educationally as a result.

anonymoususer9876 · Today 08:50

beaglescurleduplikebagels · Today 08:43

Maybe schools shouldn’t have such bizarre and pointless rules 🤷‍♀️

Our local secondary allows make-up, dyed (natural coloured) hair and piercings and somehow not one single child has imploded or suffered educationally as a result.

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Which is fine if that’s the school rules. But if a school sets rules pupils and parents shouldn’t be picking and choosing which to follow. Schools and parents should work together. We just don’t need the them and us attitude.

Don’t like the rules? Either bring it up through proper channels with the school (asking why the rules are there in the first place), or find a different school that has the rules you agree with.

LeahCariad · Today 08:52

Lavenderandsunflowerfields · Yesterday 23:27

Not at 12. It'll ruin her eyelashes with the harsh chemicals used.

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Tint and 3% Hydrogen Peroxide, if used correctly, will not ruin eyelashes.

Eyelash tinting is one of the first treatments I learned as a beauty therapist, and in over 30 years of tinting eyelashes and brows, I can assure you that everyone is absolutely fine.

beaglescurleduplikebagels · Today 08:56

anonymoususer9876 · Today 08:50

Which is fine if that’s the school rules. But if a school sets rules pupils and parents shouldn’t be picking and choosing which to follow. Schools and parents should work together. We just don’t need the them and us attitude.

Don’t like the rules? Either bring it up through proper channels with the school (asking why the rules are there in the first place), or find a different school that has the rules you agree with.

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Most parents have absolutely no choice when it comes to picking a school with rules they agree with, though - you know that.

And again, most aren’t going to put their energy into fighting battles that ultimately are absolutely pointless. If a 12 year old chooses to wear makeup to school they can deal with the consequences.

arcticduck · Today 09:00

anonymoususer9876 · Today 08:42

I’ve read half way through and I’m despairing that so many parents are not backing the school rules (I am assuming OP has set the boundary due to school rules). As someone who works in a primary, we see this start at age 9 and by year 6 it’s a daily battle. And their parents don’t manage it due to ‘pick your battles’ ie parents don’t want to deal with the fallout at home so push it on the school to enforce.

Parents, please, set and enforce the boundary at home. You agreed to the school rules when you signed up to the school. It’s much better if we work together on this. Your child is testing boundaries and we all work together to hold them.

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I am so glad my kids didn’t have to go to schools in the UK with all tvose old and dusty ridgid rules.

ConflictofInterest · Today 09:00

Complete overreaction, its just mascara, would anyone even notice she's wearing it? At 12 most girls just want to fit in and feel belonging with their friends. Surely the point of school is for them to learn, anything that keeps attendance up and helps them feel confident is a good thing. It's just a reflection on society where most women wear make up. My DD is 14 and wears a lot of make up to school. I don't have a problem with it all, she has acne and it makes her feel brave enough to attend. I have absolutely no idea if it's against school rules and don't care in the slightest. She knows if she breaks school rules she'd receive their consequences, but I certainly wouldn't continue to enforce that at home. As for 'you've signed up to the school rules when you joined' what nonsense, there's no choice is there, I want my child to be educated and sadly that comes with a load of micromanaging. We had an email on the 2nd day back from the head of year saying, not a welcome message, but that he'd spent the morning measuring girls skirts and was now aware of the disturbing issue that some are made of a stretch jersey fabric instead of the polycotton blend listed in the rules! 😱

Walkerzoo · Today 09:10

Kids today have so much pressure. Don't add to it.

How are you with other things?

Bear in mind at that age they will be exposed to vapes, foul language and borderline sexual touching.

Please don't become the parent where the child will find a way and the consequences are more severe than a bit of mascara.

Divebar2021 · Today 09:21

Yeah I will back the school on the big stuff but nowadays Im seeing the palaver about uniform as ridiculous. My DD14 goes to a girls school which I like and went to a lovely
primary but my god they have almost turned me anti uniform altogether because of their refusal to move with the times. 12 is year 8 presumably? I think you’re on a hiding to nothing trying to stop her wearing it to school. Those are the people that she’s most trying to fit in with. I was a teenager in the 80’s and I would have been wearing a bit of make up to school by 13 so it’s not some modern aberration. Primary school is different but there’s a lot of change that happens between 10 and 12.

Greenseacat · Today 09:43

A 12 year old does not need to wear mascara...

We really should not raise daughters who are overly concerned about their appearance and think they need to wear make up at that age.

Sickoffamilydrama · Today 09:45

anonymoususer9876 · Today 08:42

I’ve read half way through and I’m despairing that so many parents are not backing the school rules (I am assuming OP has set the boundary due to school rules). As someone who works in a primary, we see this start at age 9 and by year 6 it’s a daily battle. And their parents don’t manage it due to ‘pick your battles’ ie parents don’t want to deal with the fallout at home so push it on the school to enforce.

Parents, please, set and enforce the boundary at home. You agreed to the school rules when you signed up to the school. It’s much better if we work together on this. Your child is testing boundaries and we all work together to hold them.

Edited

Like many parents I'll support the school with ensuring my child attends is polite and does their work.

What I am feed up with is SLT within schools who seem to think parent are children too and they somehow have the intellectual and moral high ground.

Silly rules around mascara are a symptom of all that is wrong within the school system. How does what is on girls eye lashes in anyway affect their ability to learn?

I've seen this kind of thing play out in local schools they have a discipline problem so they go after the low hanging fruit of make up and uniform but don't actually deal with the disruptive elements.

The best schools I know don't sweat the small things like this and their pupils are really well behaved and do well academically.

SirChenjins · Today 09:47

It's mascara, not a facial tattoo - give it back to her and let her enjoy a tiny bit of makeup fgs.

arcticduck · Today 10:01

Sickoffamilydrama · Today 09:45

Like many parents I'll support the school with ensuring my child attends is polite and does their work.

What I am feed up with is SLT within schools who seem to think parent are children too and they somehow have the intellectual and moral high ground.

Silly rules around mascara are a symptom of all that is wrong within the school system. How does what is on girls eye lashes in anyway affect their ability to learn?

I've seen this kind of thing play out in local schools they have a discipline problem so they go after the low hanging fruit of make up and uniform but don't actually deal with the disruptive elements.

The best schools I know don't sweat the small things like this and their pupils are really well behaved and do well academically.

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Yes, like in most other countries.

cumbrians · Today 10:22

Theunamedcat · Today 07:23

No? Its fucking obvious 🙄 dont wear it to school usually means its against school rules

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Well that’s me told, right?

Actually though, it’s not ‘fucking obvious’ it’s against the rules because OP has not said that. All you have done is show yourself up. What a horrible person you must be to speak to others with such hostility. I bet you don’t do it IRL though.