Help. No clothes for funeral

[Lieandcheerios]

Im short and fat so usually just hide in leggings and loose shirts. Usually avoid any occasion which involves dressing up but I really have to atttend a funeral soon.

I have a black skirt and black shoes but need a loose white shirt and preferably a smartish coat too (only possess waterproof and Parker coat)

Please help with some suggestions. I’m only 5 foot 1 and 80kg so everything looks horrendous on me. So I just need something which will fit and help me blend into the background.

ps am same sort of size as you

I have never really strayed much into Style and Beauty but want to come and live here now as all the responses to the OP are so kind and positive, compared to the bitching and squabbling elsewhere on Mumsnet.
And, OP, for what it's worth, I have some background in the funeral industry and truly think that anything fairly sober and tidy goes. I do get that it is a bit different in Ireland though, where black and formal is more the norm.
Your presence will be appreciated and that is what will be remembered. Not what you are wearing.
All the best to you.

Order two or three sizes and return the ones that don’t fit you well.

And, please do listen to the lovely comments on this thread. Even at my heaviest - about 18.5 stone - I regularly got compliments on what I was wearing and how I looked. Your life isn’t pointless - you have a partner you are supporting, even though this is hard for you. You clearly have a lot to give. Don’t punish yourself because you are heavier than you would like.

Yes, I’ve ordered 16, 18 and 20. They should have been delivered today but didn’t come so hopefully will get them tomorrow.

Fellow "porkster"here! However I accepted I was still pretty gorgeous years ago whatever weight I was ( 5'6 and 18st at biggest) . I urge you to do some healing and self discovery. When you realize how wonderful you are and what you can make of yourself with a little trial and error, life is can be a lot of fun. ( I say that having spent more than a little time in rock bottoms basement! )

The dress you have ordered is perfect, and exactly what I would of chosen.

Also Snag tights! They are so comfy with four way stretch and it makes a difference, I wear them with body control knickers OVER the tights to keep them up tight and everything together and prevent any Nora Batty moments and increase mid riff confidence. ( spanx essentially- but lots of cheaper options )

Some black shoes / boots with black tights, that dress and a dark coat. You will blend in lovely and will be able to get on with supporting your partner.

But please please reach out either in a private message to me for some signposting, or your GP. You sound like you need a little nudge into the light.

Good luck!

Stop talking yourself down, none of us are perfect and as long as you are clean and tidy and not dressed in a ra ra skirt you will be fine. It’s being there that matters

I’m a similar size to you and I have no formal clothes. If it were me I’d get some black trousers from next, they do short leg and I’d look for a jumper on their website too, I’d go for a darkish colour, dark green, purple or grey and I’d were your black shoes. I wouldn’t bother with a new coat unless it was a burial, I’d wear a nice scarf and take an umbrella.

I am late to this but I like Cos. They tend to the large with sizing but are still stylish and neutral. Many black dresses there.

I feel sad that you are so down on yourself. I genuinely think anyone can look good once they find the style for their shape. Please prioritise yourself and put some work into finding what suits you now. Don’t wait for weight loss etc. There are clothes out there for you, I promise.

Good luck with the funeral. Hope it goes ok x
https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1272841001.html

And you could def wear an oversized jumper with your black skirt if you feel better in baggy.
https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1294152009.html

Im a 16 in Fatface and an xl on halara

That’s so nice. Roman is very good quality and you could dress it up with jewellery and wear again afterwards

@Lieandcheerios Did the dress arrive? Really hope that one of them worked for you and you feel good in it x

How are you getting on @Lieandcheerios?

I hope one of the dresses was OK for you @Lieandcheerios
Just to add that your black waterproof will be fine.

My experience of funerals has been that people who attend funerals fairly regularly, ie older people or those who are involved with a Church, tend to come along in their everyday clothes. Soberish clothes, yes, but not necessarily properly dark colours and certainly not anything bought specifically for the occasion.

Hello, I’ve only just looked at the dresses this evening. I’m not sure whether they are long enough for me but I have some black tights and black boots being delivered tomorrow so I can try the whole lot on together then.

I did find a dark navy jacket in Seasalt which fits and doesn’t look too bad so I might just wear my black skirt and black T-shirt under that instead.

Thanks again everyone. I’ll update when I’ve tried the options with my boots and tights x