Help. No clothes for funeral

[Lieandcheerios]

Im short and fat so usually just hide in leggings and loose shirts. Usually avoid any occasion which involves dressing up but I really have to atttend a funeral soon.

I have a black skirt and black shoes but need a loose white shirt and preferably a smartish coat too (only possess waterproof and Parker coat)

Please help with some suggestions. I’m only 5 foot 1 and 80kg so everything looks horrendous on me. So I just need something which will fit and help me blend into the background.

As pp's, you can really wear anything (other than sequins!), which is modest and muted. Literally anything, trousers, skirts, blouse, sweater, jacket, coat, shoes or boots, in black, grey, brown, navy, burgundy, white shirt is fine. Patterns are also fine.

At the last funeral I went to, a lady came in a leopard print coat, she stood out, but the deceased lady had a great sense of humour, and I am sure would've loved it.

During a Covid funeral in the snow, outside, we were all in puffas, hats, scarves, gloves and snow boots.

Thank you, thats really kind of you. I just want to look smart enough to be respectful and to not draw attention to myself. I normally avoid all social occasions because I don’t want people to see me but I need to be at the funeral to support my partner.

How long until the funeral? If say two weeks away, get onto Vinted. Search for a petite black coat in your size. Everyone needs a decent coat for funerals. Then buy a dark coloured fine knit jumper or cardigan to go on top of your skirt.

Bless you. You will be absolutely fine. Don't sweat the black look, just go for something you are comfortable in and is smart.

Your partner loves and needs you please do not hide . Whatever you wear will be fine... ..and book yourself a personal shopper at some point the right fit clothes you will feel good

This could work as it's loose and could wear with black shoes or boots. Roman Swing dress. If you search swing dress on Roman, there are quite a few options. Hope you find something you feel comfortable with and sorry for your loss x

He passed away on Monday so the funeral
date hasn’t been set yet. I guess it would be in the next 2-3 weeks so should have time to get some options ordered online to try at home.

Thanks, I like the look of that one. No idea size wise so I might order a few options to see.

This dress looks good , i’m short too and I found Roman dresses very good , also a lot of them come in a petite option.

Sometimes, MNetters can be so kind. ❤️

Yours have quite a few black dresses as well that are funeral suitable.

Don't say that, we have a reputation as vipers to protect!

Your size is not a value judgement on you as a human being. I was just as good a person at size 24 than I am at size 18 (god bless the jabs! My joint pain is much less now).

What matters is that you're being brave for your partner. That's very important. I'm sorry for their loss and I am sure they appreciate your support.

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but it’s not about you so you need to put your body image issues aside. A black cardigan and black skirt or trousers will be fine.

M&S have a basic black cardigan, but look at Hobbs or Boden if you’d like something better quality.
https://www.marksandspencer.com/crew-neck-button-front-cardigan/p/clp60688608

These wide leg trousers from M&S are very nice -
https://www.marksandspencer.com/crepe-tab-detail-wide-leg-trousers/p/clp60579903
Black cords - https://www.marksandspencer.com/cotton-rich-corduroy-trousers/p/clp60747355
Black straight leg - https://www.marksandspencer.com/straight-leg-trousers-with-stretch/p/clp60748276
Black skirt from Next - https://www.next.co.uk/style/su728300/h30070
Again you could try Hobbs if you’d like something more expensive.

I agree that you shouldn't talk about yourself the way you do. We're all more than a dress size or a flabby tum (I am very familiar with a flabby tum!).

Use this clothes-finding mission to spur yourself on to find a few things you feel really good in- a soft jumper or 2 for winter, a flattering pair of jersey trousers, a crisp shirt- & take it from there.

Please be kind to yourself.

If you're near Coventry I have a dark grey blazer jacket ? I'm plus size. I wore it to a funeral back in March with a long black skirt and black low heeled boots. I'd happily lend it to you!

Thanks for the suggestions.
I nearly said that I know it’s not all about me earlier in the thread. All I want is something I can wear without showing myself and my partner up.

Im a similar size and height.Most funerals are less formal now .My dear friend expressed she wanted people in pink .When FIL died I went to the BHF charity shop .A lovely m and S box jacket in black for a tenner .The sweet little guy said I could wear it and bring it back for a refund!(I didnt ) The most important thing is you are there .Someone said recently they were castigated for not attending a funeral .You need to pay your respects

How about one of these shirt style dresses. I think it helps to see clothing on models who are bigger sizes so you can more easily imagine how it will look

https://www.curvewow.com/products/curvewow-petite-collared-button-smock-dress-black?_pos=4&_fid=72f4a8077&_ss=c&variant=45685463056610

https://liveunlimitedlondon.com/products/petite-black-button-through-belted-shirt-dress

I'm sorry for your loss. Someone wise on here recommended Vinted for funeral clothes and that's what I did last time- I could get something nicer than my budget would have allowed if I'd bought new, which helped me feel more confident. It sounds like you'll have a bit of time, so second hand/Vinted could be your friend. I don't think what you wear has to be formal, unless its a full on Catholic funeral mass, just a sober and modest version of what you'd normally wear. And this time of the year most of the time you'll be in your coat anyway.

Thank you, that’s really kind.
I do need to find some clothes in general. It is restricting my life at the moment but it seems pointless when everything looks awful.

I’m not near Coventry but I really appreciate your kind offer.

That dress is fab!

I need to get a coat then as I only have a black waterproof, no smart coat at all.

Which one? I like the second one best

Wearing black to a funeral is so old fashioned nowadays, not a lot wear it!
Just wear what you’ve got in your wardrobe, that’s what I do, and you wouldn’t keep a coat on if inside.