Help. No clothes for funeral

[Lieandcheerios]

Im short and fat so usually just hide in leggings and loose shirts. Usually avoid any occasion which involves dressing up but I really have to atttend a funeral soon.

I have a black skirt and black shoes but need a loose white shirt and preferably a smartish coat too (only possess waterproof and Parker coat)

Please help with some suggestions. I’m only 5 foot 1 and 80kg so everything looks horrendous on me. So I just need something which will fit and help me blend into the background.

This time of year Vinted and Charity shops tend to be full of people offloading winter stuff they no longer want. Maybe focus on getting a coat you're comfortable with, and then underneath won't matter so much, as long as its sober and modest? Second hand M&S can be a good shout for this kind of thing. It doesn't need to be black, I've worn things like dark blue or grey to a funeral, and its been absolutely fine

That’s probably fine for most people but alI I have is leggings and a few baggy shirts so nothing appropriate at all.

If you're looking for a coat, there's this one at New Look. Not the warmest but not tight fitting and not too bulky. There's also 25% off I think at the moment 😊

White stuff Lucy dress comes in lots of sombre colours at the moment. I don't know about black but personally I think navy or dark plum would be fine for a funeral these days. It is super comfortable, zero cling and it's one of those midi lengths that is wearable as a longer dress for a shorter person. I'm 5'3" and if anything it's a little shorter than I'd like. Look at the reviews on the cut. Personally I like it on my size 18 but some find it less flattering. I have not tried it in the bulkier cord fabric.

There were some black seconds with a little white pattern on eBay a few weeks back about £30. I didn't buy because it felt a bit funereal for everyday wear, ironically.

I think that, depending upon the age of the deceased and their loved ones (as well as potentially family/cultural expectations, it can still be very important - and it's far better to err on the side of caution than risk being the person that is remembered negatively for not dressing appropriately.

Feelings run high at funerals. There's already enough sadness and sometimes anger with the pain (or relief) - why risk it by assuming a simple black outfit is something that only old/poor/unfashionable/whatever people do?

Bloody hell
you're reading far too much into this!
🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

If you are really struggling wear your black coat with a smart scarf in a muted dark colour or pattern.

What about a loose shirt like this

https://www.primark.com/en-gb/p/the-edit-linen-shirt-black-991138747804

I don’t think they are actually. Black is definitely not old fashioned for a funeral in my part of the world. While it’s fine to wear other colours (and honestly the funeral party have better things to worry about than what someone is wearing..!), it’s still the cultural norm. Funerals and death are taken seriously and it’s just respectful to wear smart black clothing unless you’re told otherwise.

Sorry to derail the thread!

I would always wear black for a funeral unless specifically told otherwise. (Scotland) I usually go for a black skater style dress with black tights & shoes and weather dependant either a blazer or coat. There are some lovely dresses on here already OP I hope you find something that makes you feel less self conscious. You deserve to feel good about yourself & not to hide away.

Try yoursclothing.co.uk

They have a lot of black dresses.

Keep it simple especially if you’re struggling with body issues. A black dress. Opaque tights. Shoes/ boots. You could get a new coat or a even a blazer

dresses
https://www.yoursclothing.co.uk/yours-curve-black-ribbed-maxi-dress-p

https://www.yoursclothing.co.uk/tiered-dress-solid-black-p

https://www.yoursclothing.co.uk/yours-curve-black-jersey-woven-mix-fabric-midaxi-skater-dress-p

coats:
https://www.yoursclothing.co.uk/yours-curve-black-longline-formal-coat-p

www.yoursclothing.co.uk/curve-black-blazer-jacket-p

Do you have any friends you can borrow a coat off? We seem to have a funeral coat we all borrow when needed. Otherwise have a look in your local charity shop. Alternatively, you might be able to get away with a smart, dark woollen poncho.

No, I don’t have any friends. I think my black waterproof will be ok unless I can find a nice black coat. I’m going to order some of the dresses on this thread and hopefully
one will fit and I can wear that with some black tights and black shoes.

Not read the whole thread, fellow obese person here 👋🏻 (although I’m more than certain you’re not as bad as you think you are!) as I say I’ve not read the whole thread, so what what have you wittled it down to? Honestly, you can’t go wrong with a black blazer and a pair of trousers. Have you got a dark coloured top? If it’s casual t-shirt type top, you could wear a strategically placed scarf to make it less casual looking 🤔.

https://www.roman.co.uk/a-line-pocket-detail-swing-dress-14125308

I quite like this one but I’m not sure how it would look on me or what size to get.

My black coat (only wear for funerals) I bought from a charity shop 15 years ago, knowing how skint I was then it wouldn't have been any more than £10!

I think this dress with tights and black boots will look lovely.
I’m not sure what clothes size you are but this is lovely and looks a really handy more formal coat to own https://www.next.co.uk/style/SU582531/AP7349

I’m really saddened by how you speak about yourself OP.

This is me me in the purple one in a size 14, I'm only 5ft! It's not a great photo and probably needs a better bra, but may give you a bit of an idea!

Longline tunic top over leggings, if the tunic is smart and well made is absolutely perfect for a funeral. I don't think they are the devil, they're very flattering for plus size imo. Can get some that are tailored, ie neat collar and cuffs and would look very smart and I'd treat yourself to some new leggings too, so no pulls or washed out look, new solid black be smart.
Have a look on next? Evans too used to do a lot of tunics. Don't have to be plain black either. Sorry for your upcoming sad day, hope a good send off.

Thanks, It looks really good on you @Drinkstoomichtea
Ive got huge boobs though, so I think it would just hang off those on me 😢

Do you need a coat?

I’ve generally been ok without one (unless it’s raining - but you’ve got that well covered).

If you’re going to drive there / back and park nearby then they’re usually an inconvenience rather than helpful. If it’s the full grave internment then probably need something for warmth. Somber scarf with either of your existing coats would be fine. Also handy for nestling into if there’s a breeze, or dabbing eyes if needed.

I read your post earlier and kept thinking about it. As a fellow short-arse (all 155cm of me), I know dresses are tricky but I really rate Roman.

However, what stuck with me more is the way you talk about yourself.

Okay, you are heavier that you would like to be, but that doesn't mean you should hide.

I am also overweight - battling menopausal weight gain and a broken ankle has meant my activity levels are zero which has made things worse. But I focus on the parts of my body I do like - I have an "elegant wrist" (well two!) so I always wear 3/4 length sleeves which show this off.

So, my advice, is to find a body part you like - your feet, wrists, nails, ears and try to increase your body confidence working from that tiny part. Day to day I default to comfort, but I have built a pocket of "I'm worth it" so I can look nice/presentable when I want. Perhaps this is your start...

https://tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/product/tuc146029172

grey and petite

Obviously you should wear what you want, but I don't think less than 13 stone is territory where "everything looks terrible" and there is no weight at which you should feel you need to avoid all social occasions so nobody sees you.

I have had a BMI higher than that, and I didn't look svelte or slim but I was still happy to go to the gym in leggings and go swimming in a swimming costume etc.

Maybe when you have a bit more brain space, it would be worth asking on the S&B forum about what options might flatter you in the longer term?

I have tended to find structured things made of weightier fabrics, with either draping or ruching are the most flattering for me.