I am hideous and it's making me miserable

[GoldSwan48]

Hello,

Something really awful has happened to my face - I am guessing hormones. I am 38 and I look about 20 years older. My face has sagged, I have loads of deep wrinkles in my forehead and under my eyes as well as huge eye bags. It seems to have happened in a few weeks. I eat well, drink lots of water, take a multivitamin, use retinal (can't handle tret) and ceramides and peptides, moisturiser and factor 50 every day. Everything I use is from the high street, I can't afford expensive stuff and definitely can't afford going for facial treatments or botox. Thing is, its killing my confidence. I feel like I deserve to only walk around in huge baggy jumpers and stuff because my face is too ugly to wear my nice clothes. My teeth have also yellowed which is weird, my dentist said he wasn't sure why it had happened recently (don't drink coffee, tea, smoke or drink alcohol etc). I have no glow, I look terrible.

Is there anything that has boosted you? Given your skin a glow? Helped to whiten your teeth? I have tried to get those crest whitening strips from America but can't find anywhere as they're not legal here I don't think. I feel dirty and gross, even when I am clean and fresh. I feel like giving up on myself and I don't want to be in this position. I don't understand.

I bet if you were to post a pic ( don't want you too , not expecting it ) you'd be perfectly fine .
It's your self esteem that's messing with your head .
Try to work at that , and hopefully in time you will see the true you .

If you're looking for cheap products there's a tiktoker called Nina Pool, and she finds good cheap workable alternatives to expensive products based on their ingredient lists.

She is American though, so not all dupes are available in the UK, but I really love how my skin looks after using the Palmers firming lotion twice a day. Been using it about 6 months allover and have got noticeably less deep stretch marks and the wrinkles on my forehead aren't so deep anymore. Was actually asked if I'd had botox by a family member.

Another family member also gets botox and while it seems expensive the upkeep is really manageable for her and she's not on a high income but she doesn't have young kids to worry about so I know it's all a matter of perspective. Her top ups are 6 monthly.

By the sounds of it I look the same as you (with possibly extra sagginess and wrinkles due to weight loss), but I don’t think I’m hideous or dirty, because I’m not.

The same happened to me at the start of the year! I went through a bad period with my mental health and also unintentionally lost some weight so wondered if it was that. I'm 37.. as for teeth whitening, I use this i got from the states but can get online, it's definitely whitened my teeth, so that's something! www.directteethwhitening.io/product/colgate-optic-white-pro-series-whitening-toothpaste/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22569558702&gclid=CjwKCAjw04HIBhB8EiwA8jGNbS-Q99_MXLKWWonXVXG0o8McWUfpqxvnsFxz8lN1xeZNg1aHjbpTMBoCYGQQAvD_BwE

@Blahdiblahblahr which pill was it?

Maybe u could do with some hrt replacement could be lack of oestrogen ! That can make your skin look like u have described maybe try some Q&A vitamin c serum that replaces moisturiser it’s a good price point that will glow up your skin ! Hope this helps it’s just the natural stage of ageing I think and it can get u down ! Best to embrace it and own it and put your lovely clothes on this will instantly make u feel better 💐 x x x x x

So you had a full set of bloods done? You should be able to access your test results through.the NHS app, check them yourself, I was told my iron was fine but it was right on the cusp of normal, taking an iron supplement then really helped.

This happened to me, I hit 40 and looked awful. Teeth. Hair. My face was covered in acne and suddenly I had wrinkles. I also developed heartburn. Apparently common when oestrogen drops suddenly.
Had blood tests to rule out anything and now have combined pill to stabilise hormones with a view to change to hrt at some point.
Hair is shiny again and skin is clear, heartburn has improved and face looks so much better.

Id say it’s hormones.

which firming lotion please?

Thanks

Health conditions that cause teeth discoloration include liver disease, celiac disease, calcium deficiency, eating disorders and metabolic diseases.

You say your diet is good but perhaps you should get your liver checked out.

Don’t waste money on lotions and potions when all this has happened suddenly as it sounds like it’s something from the inside that needs attention or treatment not the outside.

The premature ageing and teeth discolouration is a symptom of something. Trying to treat the symptoms won’t get rid of the cause.

Op get back on the tret and invest in decent skin care.

Also pay attention to your diet, you say it’s good but is it full of vitamins, nutrients and healthy fats?

I see a lot of women who are fit and in the gym but their faces look haggard and it’s often because they’ve striped their diets away from complex carbs and healthy fats. Fresh salads, full of nuts and seeds are good.

Lastly, tretinoin.

Also you don't mention sleep and stress, are you getting enough of the first and not too much of the second?

Thank you, this sounds similar. I have had heartburn on occasions too, in the evenings. I was given the hormonal coil but it hasn't had any impact on anything that I can tell, been on it for about 8 months.

Im 5 years older than you, but the same has recently happened to me. Until recently, everything was holding up well and I'd often get comments about looking younger and having glowy skin etc. Literally within a few months, I've aged quite dramatically. My complexion is greyer, everything has dropped and sunken a bit, my undereyes are much more sunken and dark, I seem to have developed rosacea on my cheeks. My hair and skin are both much dryer.

I have also noticed changes to my cycle and mood changes, so I'm assuming this is peri/menopause related. I should see the GP, but it's always a battle to be listened to there.

Im swinging between accepting it or having surgery/procedures.

Might be worth trying the pill. It’s safe up to age 50 now as long as no family history of clots or breast cancer

I have never met a single person who I would describe as "hideous", OP. You may be showing some signs of ageing, which is fine, because that's a perfectly normal process that happens to all of us.
Your difficulties sound to me like they are about your mental health and self-esteem. Please find a good counsellor or therapist who can help you learn to value yourself again.

Just be aware that retinol thins the skin.

Tret made my face burn, even with sandwiching. I went on to retinal which I seem to be doing okay with, I may need to build up.

I eat my 30 a week, lots of nuts, seeds, avacado, eggs, no red meat (although no fish either, it makes me sick), no alchol or fizzy drinks or coffee. Have 80% dark chocolate. I think i do alright with my diet, although I am tempted to no bother if this is all that happens!

I would stop buying all the creams and potions and put some money aside and save for botox - i know you say its out of your budget but going by the way youre feeling i would try and make it work and save up. Some places do offers like buy two areas and get one free etc. I think it makes a big difference.

Not sure about your teeth but my dentist offers teeth whitening bleach kits for around £300 - again I would try and save up for something like this if possible. Sometimes we buy cheaper products but buy so many of them over time that they would be around the same price as a one off more lasting product.

Im 39 and have definitely noticed changes to my face lately and although im also on a budget I will make sure I treat myself now and again because my physical appearance definitely affects my mental health in a way xx

I do value myself. I don't value the sudden, massive shift in my face that is making me look unwell. I don't need counselling, I am fine with aging, what I am not fine with is this massive, strange change.

You wouldn't think that about someone else though, would you? You'd just think 'They look nice / nice outfit' or whatever. People don't usually think that other people "look hideous". They mostly don't really notice other people that much, tbh. This is in your head, it won't be how anyone else sees you.

This is the best toothpaste I've found for whitening, really makes a difference even after one use. Don't get it from Amazon, it's only a couple of quid in B&M or Savers www.amazon.co.uk/Pearl-Drops-503994-Instant-Boost/dp/B01BMLGWNY/ref=asc_df_B01BMLGWNY?mcid=bf733b8b5828372abca7c0090f57c1cf&hvocijid=3473838097872427365-B01BMLGWNY-&hvexpln=74&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=696285193871&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=3473838097872427365&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1007064&hvtargid=pla-2281435177418&psc=1&gad_source=1#averageCustomerReviewsAnchor

Is this as well as the coil? I think the coil is mostly progesterone, so I presume this would be for oestrogen?

If you frown alot in your sleep (I do), I found these help a lot: https://frownies.co.uk/?srsltid=AfmBOoolYxk8iKIStI7YpKSRzDv_L2bChaq76EU317fyCCp0-lPibj1w

It stopped me from waking up with really deep 11 lines

Hi, as others have said it may be mental health related, seeing yourself through a distorted overcritical lens. However I would maybe see your GP to rule out anything else, teeth going yellow so quickly does seem strange. Talk over all these concerns with your GP.